Movie Malarkey: The sequel

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Welcome back to another edition of Movie Malarkey where we, being the Assholes that we are, try to bluff you into buying our fake movie synopses. We loved the responses we got last week so much that we thought we’d try it again.

The obscure movie title of the week is Eegah. Believe it or not, this is a real movie and only one of the summaries below is accurate. The rest are just Malarkey (and thanks to Joel for suggesting it).

a) After Roxy hits a 7-foot giant caveman named Eegah while driving through California desert, her father returns to the scene in hopes of snapping a photo of the giant. When he fails to return home, Roxy and her boyfriend realize they must rescue her father from the terrifying Eegah – a creature who, like any of us, just wants to be loved.

b) Twenty men set sail on the Eegah for adventure, profit, and a chance at a new life they think will favour them once they set foot on New Land. Only two men survive to the end of the journey, and even they are unprepared for the culture they find once there. One thing’s for sure – there’s no going back.

c) Veronique and Michel are a couple of young newlyweds who suffer the agonizing loss of their newborn daughter just a year into their marriage. To save their relationship and heal their hearts, the pair decide to hike the Eegah desert together, but will grief transcend the unforgiving landscape?

Vote by poll and\or comments on which you think is the REAL movie synopsis for Eegah.

SPOILER: ANSWER BELOW!

Eegah, a “beloved” (rating: 2.2 out of 10) comedy from 1962, directed by Arch Hall Sr and starring Arch Hall Jr, with the amazing Richard Kiel appearing as the 7-foot caveman (oddly, since he’s 7’2 in real life). It had a budget of just 15K, but it still manages to make you wonder where the other 12k went. This movie is listed among The 100 Most Enjoyably Bad Movies Ever Made by Golden Raspberry Award founder John Wilson. And this guy knows bad movies. The sound recordist was such a failure that almost the entire movie had to be dubbed in post-production, and badly. And the assistant camera operator got so cozy with the terrible movie motif that he went on to make The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? – which, yes, is a real movie title for some reason. Bet you can’t guess what that one’s about!

Still, this movie had some success at drive-ins that summer, and managed to make the director a million dollars, which, if he’s still alive today, I bet he still laughs about.

Thanks everyone for playing along!

 

17 thoughts on “Movie Malarkey: The sequel”

  1. Andrew

    Oh my…never heard of this and all three sound plausible for some reason of another. I’m just going to go for the craziest synopsis and hope I’m right!

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  7. Maura

    Jesus, are you trying to fucking kill me here? I am with the others who haven’t seen said movie, but all of them sound excruciating. I must ask those in the know, is the movie worth seeking out?

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  8. Christopher

    As is so often the case the remake was not as good as the original. Brendan Fraser gave it his best effort, but it’s futile to try and save any movie with Pauly Shore in it.

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  9. joelnox

    That’s cool that you used that truly awful title. Love all the descriptions, obviously I know which one it is but I’d watch those other two films. I have one more suggestion. It’s not as obtuse as the last (could anything be?) but it’s plenty vague…All Mine to Give.

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