How To Be Single

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The best thing about this movie was New York City. I love that city. I love it so much I can’t quite justify why I don’t live there, except then I couldn’t visit. 12339563_1534849863502185_4845266985900591715_oAnd boy do I visit. I hit that city like a hurricane of cash and I only leave when I’ve spent myself out. It sparkled in every nearly scene of this movie, which is more than I can say about the leads – Alison Brie, a total snore; Dakota Johnson, devoid of personality; Rebel Wilson against whom I am loathe to say a bad word except she’s working a shtick that’s tired and offensive (dear Hollywood producers, including Drew Barrymore, the name behind this particular mess: I have it on very good authority that it IS possible for a female to be fat and NOT obnoxious. I promise you it’s true!). I didn’t have a problem with Leslie Mann, resident old lady (seriously, it’s great that she’s game to play the crone opposite young actresses all the time, but let’s not put her in a box!), so of course she’s the Leslie-Mann-How-To-Be-Single-Movie-Posterleast used of the four.

I think this is supposed to be a feminist rom-com, only without the rom, or the com. There’s nothing new here, and the notion that the feminist choice is between one boyfriend or many, is pretty insulting. The lesson taken from How To Be Single (besides consumerism and alcoholism) is either a) be rich enough to not need a man (and\or fat enough not to land one) or b) sleep with people you know you shouldn’t while pining over the guy YOU rejected and wallowing in self-pity and a bad haircut. Because how else will we women ever hang a picture or program our PVRs? I cannot recall laughing a single time during this movie, but I do 12370750_1534849806835524_1592610361207727068_oremember wincing in several spots – like when it quietly referenced a better movie about female empowerment. If this was an attempt to be ‘different’ it was a very, very conservative effort while still relying on heaps of familiar tropes and situations (ie, how did all the guys I’m sleeping with end up at the same party???).

And it’s too bad. Because in the time I was briefly single, I felt happy and alive. And maybe some of that was leaving a bad marriage, but the freeAlison-Brie-How-To-Be-Single-Movie-Posterdom tasted sweet and the possibilities felt truly exhilarating. I was tingly feeling genuinely awake and I embraced being happy on my own. And I was. Very. And then I met Sean and became very happy with him. In fact, he made me unsingle five years ago this Saturday and I am plump with satisfaction. It is extremely gratifying to go through life with someone who gets you and wants the best for you. But I was happy being on my own, truly happy, and I wasn’t missing anything. And I certainly wasn’t missing this movie in my life, and neither are you. Not even a little.

 

 

24 thoughts on “How To Be Single”

  1. emmakwall

    Hey Jay!!! Excellent review. I love your reviews because they’re fun to read as well as informative 🙂

    This really made me laugh – “didn’t have a problem with Leslie Mann, resident old lady”

    I like Leslie Mann too but after the other actress’ nicknames/introductions that one just REALLY made me laugh!

    I’d watch this 🙂

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  2. Brittani

    Great review, Jay! This film looks like a mess and I can’t say I care for any of the four leads (especially Rebel Wilson, I’m not on her bandwagon and like you I hate the “fat must be obnoxious” trope) I like how you ended your review though, that’s so sweet. I hope you and Sean have a good anniversary this weekend.

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  3. Andrew

    Great review, Jay.

    I’m with you on being tired of Rebel’s shtick. She’s been riding her Pitch Perfect debut for too long now. This movie looks like a definite ‘pass’.

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  5. Holly

    Well, duh….Rebel is supposed to be the fat girl who doesn’t care what the world thinks and has the personality of a thin girl who knows what she wants and will go for it. Right? I mean, aren’t all fat girls supposed to be like that?

    (signed, fat girl who isn’t like that!)

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  6. Carrie Rubin

    I can never really relate to these types of rom-coms, the ones where the main goal is to get a man. Maybe it’s because I’m an old, married woman, but even if I wasn’t, I would hope I’d have more to fuss about than that.

    As for this: “it IS possible for a female to be fat and NOT obnoxious”—Yes, yes, and yes. I cringe when they put Melissa McCarthy in those types of roles because she’d so talented and is far more than her size. One actress who thankfully hasn’t been put in that role is Allison Tolman (season one of Fargo). She’s a joy to watch on the screen, and I bet she’ll be landing many roles in the future. Because of her talent, NOT her size.

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  10. Birgit

    I have no desire to see this film and you just confirmed it. I am not a fan of Rebel Wilson but you make a good point that fat people can only be obnoxious and/or jolly. I am not going to be politcally correct either:) (so I say fat not curvy-Sophia Loren and Sophia Vergera are curvy). When I separated from my ex, I was quite happy on my own espcially the last year since I was getting into my groove. I have now been with my current hubby for 9 1/2 years and am happy too. So Happy Anniversary and I wish you all the best and hope your back is slowly getting better

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  11. Colane Conundrum

    Oh, great. I’m supposed to see this movie with friends on Friday. I hadn’t even heard of it until they mentioned the title.

    And anyway, I do a pretty good job being single just by being myself. I don’t exactly need any pointers.

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  12. J.

    Oooft. Title stored so I can avoid it when I spot it on Netflix at some point further down the line. Seriously, thanks for watching stuff like this so we don’t have to.

    … and happy anniversary to you folks!

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