Despite what you may think a glaringly obvious move, there is nary an Aerosmith tune in this whole dang movie. Sure it’s a western set in the 1800s, but that wouldn’t have stopped Baz Luhrmann, I’ll tell you that much, pard’ner.
When Jane’s husband comes home all shot up with bad guys on his tail, she’s got no choice but to hustle up the services of the nearest hired gun…who just happens to be her ex-lover.
I’ve never been in an old-timey gun fight (knock wood!) but I imagine the only thing worse than being laid up in bed full of bullet holes, gangrene mere moments away, is to watch your wife fall into the sexy arms of her much-handsomer ex-boyfriend as he protects the both of you and you’re too weak to even protest. How embarrassing!
Although I’d say it’s way more embarrassing to have made such a generic film with absolutely no personality despite passable performances by Natalie Portman and Joel Edgerton (full disclosure: Ewan McGregor is purportedly also in this film but I totally failed to notice him…if the story checks out, you may remember that these three appeared together in the Star Wars prequels, so they do have a history of making bad choices).
It’s not exactly a surprise that this film failed to make a saloon-worthy splash, it was syphilitic with trouble since day one. Actually, since the day before day one, which is when the original director, Lynne Ramsay, walked off the project after a 3-day stand-off with 
producers who refused to give her final cut. Cinematographer Darius Khondji followed in solidarity, as did Jude Law. Bradley Cooper was brought on to replace him, with Gavin O’Connor in the director’s seat, totally unprepared. Michael Fassbender had already left over clashes with Ramsey so when Cooper left, Joel Edgerton was shuffled over from bad guy to good and Ewan McGregor took up the baddie role. It’s kind of a miracle this movie got made at all, and maybe they should have just left well enough alone.
Not that it’s despicable, it’s just not very entertaining. It looks really good in spots but it’s got the plot of every western you’ve ever seen, interspersed with confusing flash-backs. And I must say: huge missed opportunity. This could have been a table-turning, gun-slinging feminist western but instead Portman dispassionately pinballs from one man to the next and is very much a damsel in distress and that made me one disinterested dame.
ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES 
When that Manny things go wrong I think they definitely should have moved on.
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Yeah, the universe was screaming at them.
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Jay with a gun,
I fucking love it when you blast a multi-billion dollar industry (obviously very fond of fucking up at times) to bits like this!
Keep up the good work!
RR
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A couple of gay dudes sang that very song to me once while putting sunscreen on my sunburn at a Hole concert. True story.
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Slinky,,,, 😈
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Any video footage?
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Very disappointing. I expect wiser choices from Natalie. What was the point, other than trying and failing to turn a profit?
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Disappointing. I was hoping this would have been worthwhile. Still, I dare say my liking for a wee Sunday afternoon western will result in me seeing this one at some point down the line …
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It might be tolerable, even enjoyable to you on such on occasion. Just not a theatre movie.
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I understand that in Jane Got A Gun, Aerosmith hardly sings a song. Let me tell you about a great Western that has a continuous singing score. That is none other than Robert Altman’s 1971 revisionist Western masterpiece McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971). Leonard Cohen sings the background songs that start before a scene and after. Trivia for you: Leonard Cohen is Canadian and the film was shot on location in British Columbia, Canada 🙂 I am a big Altman fan and I have a blog entry regarding my favorite films of his on my site 🙂 Feel free to check it out whenever you want 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂
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Weirdly enough, Matt and I looked at your Altman post just yesterday!!
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That is pretty cool 🙂 Was this before I posted that comment? 🙂 Once again, keep up the great work as always 🙂
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Yes it was! Pure coincidence!
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As a rule I love western movies. But I dislike Portman. I wouldn’t have seen this anyway.
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Well then you’re safe!
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I imagine this will be on tv soon also 🙂 so.. I’ll catch it there .. Maybe😂👍
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I often find Baz Luhrmann to be glitz without much else. I never even heard of this film and I think I shall pass.
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Baz Luhrmann had nothing to do with this one!
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Oh boy….not sure where my head was at then. Still doesn’t sound great even though I love Westerns
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The cast has me intrigued, that and the fact it is by the director of Tumbleweeds, but your review has me thinking twice about seeking it out on Netflix. It sounds like the whole production was cursed from day on, which is a shame given the talented individuals involved.
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It is. They really couldn’t get it together. I think it’s frustrating that it is often so beautiful but can’t quite make a cohesive whole. Not totally without merit though, so maybe still worth checking out.
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Already knew about its behind the scenes troubles but it’s a shame as it could have been better.
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Yes, and frustratingly, you do get a sense of its potential.
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Oh dear. I quite like Westerns, so I’m always pleased when somebody makes a good one and keeps the once-mighty genre limping along for another couple of years. Sadly, this effort sounds rather more likely to have the cowboy movie put it out of its misery once and for all.
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Now that I think about it, I guess that would be “cowperson movie.”
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Well that’s mighty progressive of you, pard’ner.
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Well, can’t be too careful. Jane’s got a gun and an itchy trigger finger.
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Haha, too true!
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Have you seen Slow West? I think that’s a better effort.
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I hadn’t heard of it, but I had a quick look at Sean’s review. It sounds pretty good. It’s one I may have a look at if I find myself with a couple of hours to fill on a Sunday.
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Yeah, it’s a little unexpected but I think a cool spin on the western.
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For this paragraph alone I liked the review. “Although I’d say it’s way more embarrassing to have made such a generic film with absolutely no personality despite passable performances by Natalie Portman and Joel Edgerton (full disclosure: Ewan McGregor is purportedly also in this film but I totally failed to notice him…if the story checks out, you may remember that these three appeared together in the Star Wars prequels, so they do have a history of making bad choices).” Just beautifully done. 🙂
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Haha thanks. I almost rewatched it just to find Ewan, but – nah. Once was enough!
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