So my mother gave me a film recommendation last weekend. She couldn’t remember the title, naturally, but she said it was an 1800’s western where they “say modern jokes.” Had my brother-in-law not come to the rescue I may never have guessed Seth McFarlane’s A Million Ways to Die in the West. A critical and commercial flop, I would never thought that its only thought was my mother of all people: the woman who taught us that “shut up” and “vagina” were bad words, and who to this day can barely utter “Frig” when the absolute worst has happened.
Yet just ten seconds in, someone’s shouting “Pussy!” – a term I’m sure was used very sparingly in the western novels by Louis L’amour her father always read. Then there’s the death by flatulence, and Oscar winner Charlize Theron’s fat ass, and Sarah Silverman’s sore asshole. And MY MOTHER WATCHED THIS.
The premise of the movie is “the west fucking sucks and I bet I can get a lot of mileage out of that.” In truth, you can get a little mileage out of it. Seth McFarlane, managing to only half sound like Peter Griffin, somehow attracts not just Theron but Amanda Seyfried as well, even though he’s a terrible sheep herder and looks stupid in a bolo tie. There are a few laughs along the way but the plot is useless-to-nonexistent, yet it still takes entirely too long for nothing to ever happen.
So, Mom, what was your favourite part? The daisy up the butt? The 15 year old spinsters? The sheep penis? No, wait. It was the pooping in hats, wasn’t it? I bet it was the diarrhea-filled cowboy hats that really got you giggling. A Million Ways to Die in the West will cost you 116 minutes of your life, but finding out your mother has a dirty, disgusting sense of humour? That’s priceless.
Nearly two hours! Oooft. I thought this looked dreadful when I thought it was one of those 80 to 90 minute flicks. That extra 30 minutes would be unbearable.
LikeLike
Excuse me for a moment while I burst into a rendition of the mustache song…
This one’s a guilty pleasure for me, I loved it! I can see it’s flaws though, can’t argue with that.
– Allie
LikeLike
I think Matt would also bursting into the song. Those kind really get stuck in his head!
I, however, am still not over Amanda Seyfried SUCKING ON NPH’s mustache!!!! Shudder.
LikeLike
Haha way to go Mom!
LikeLike
This thing was so stupid… like me!
LikeLike
Oh don’t you dare come here and start with that! I’ll be forced to give you a compliment 😉
LikeLike
So Blazing Saddles was too tame for your mother.
Scary thought.
LikeLike
I blame Robert. Robert is my mother’s husband, and the KING of making sex jokes. Apparently this exposure has really changed my mother.
LikeLike
Haha! Never saw it, but now I’m tempted to, if only to watch it with your mom in mind. 🙂
LikeLike
I didn’t watch it WITH her but I was still blushing and thinking “Gawd, Mom” – really brought back memories of watching Waiting to Exhale with her – LOTS of sex in the movie, not enough drinks in us.
LikeLike
I saw that one with my mom too! Not sure what I was thinking.
LikeLike
The fact your mother liked and recommended this is way funnier than the actual movie. Love it.
LikeLike
I know! She’s never given a movie recommendation IN HER LIFE. Netflix has made her a new person, and I don’t recognize her!
I definitely cringed extra hard at all the weird\sexual stuff, with her in mind.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your mom sounds like my mom who would say “darn” and thought Platoon was horrible because “no soldier ever swore.” Yeah…I have no words either since she lived through the war and was married to a lumberman. Now…I have to admit something….I laughed at this movie despite the cringes and all jokes dealing with anything anal. It’s stupid, i don’t remember the plot but I found I laughed. What can I say except that i like the 3 Stooges also.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, I laughed too. Sean was trying to count my laughs, actually.
It’s stupid.
I’m not the biggest fan of Seth McFarlane – I think Family Guy is occasionally funny but I definitely cringe when they take things too far!
LikeLike
Perhaps she thought you’d like it… Or maybe she was just in the right frame of mind for it. Who knows, really?
LikeLike
Next you’ll discover she secretly watches Family Guy instead of the local news.
LikeLike
I saw some of it and it was awful. The humor felt very forced and it never really caught on.
LikeLike
Love this movie it’s hilarious
LikeLike
Just LOL! That’s all. I think we had the same mother…
LikeLike
Seth MacFarlane had way too much on his plate in this one. And he’s not a guy who can carry the lead in a movie that isn’t animated. Outside of the few minor laughs I too think this is bad.
LikeLike
You made me laugh, Jay!
I’ll have to watch this one so I can picture your mother 🙂
LikeLike