Audrie & Daisy is a documentary on Netflix that provides an in-depth look at the effects of cyber-bullying on two teenaged girls in the aftermath of their sexual assaults.
We live in a fucked up world. I was sick, and sad watching this. Sick that this is the world we’ve made for teenagers today, and it’s goddamned horrible. These little girls (14, 15 years old), nearly comatose with alcohol poisoning, are being not only sexually assaulted by gangs of their peers, but that assault is being recorded. Welcome to the digital age. These photos and videos are widely and quickly disseminated and before the bell even rings on Monday morning, everyone knows. The public shame feels overwhelming, all-encompassing. It’s nearly impossible to convince such a young girl that in fact things won’t always be this way, won’t always feel this bad.
Hearing Audrie Pott’s story made me ask Sean – was this the Canadian case, the one out in Nova Scotia? It wasn’t. Her name was Rehtaeh Parsons but the case was strikingly similar: rape, pictures, bullying, suicide. How often has this pattern repeated? OFTEN. So, so often. Daisy faced not just bullying after her attack, but open disbelief and derision from a whole town when she attempted to face the perpetrator in court. The mayor of Maryville, Jim Fall, and sheriff Darren White will make you see red. It wasn’t their sons who committed this crime, but it could have been. These are the disgusting individuals raising young men to be so crass and so entitled that they will boast about rape and take pictures for evidence. And these are the men who turn their backs on the victim, and the law, when such a crime occurs.
I was livid watching this movie, and you will be too. Good. We need to get riled up about this. Because we are endangering our daughters and quite obviously failing our sons in some very basic way. Two of them, sentenced to testify on camera for this documentary, have learned nothing. No remorse, no responsibility. One young man volunteers that the only thing he’s taken away from this is that “girls gossip.” And these boys are free – to graduate, attend college, rape again, whatever. Free, and alive, unlike Audrie, unlike Rehtaeh, unlike so, so many.
There is something broken in our culture if something like this is a trend. Directors Bonni Cohen and Jon Shenk don’t condemn the Internet, they sensibly promote it as a tool for these girls to band together, to realize they are not alone. But it clearly has far-reaching implications that we need to take more seriously. Sending or sharing a video of a 14 year old girl getting raped isn’t just taking part in the sexual assault, it’s disseminating child pornography. Penetration isn’t the only crime here. Social media is making all the looky-looks culpable. As Daisy so eloquently quotes in the film, the words of our enemies aren’t as hurtful as the silence of our friends. It takes a whole community to do the right thing. This isn’t just a bad apple scenario, it’s a blight on the whole damn orchard.
Watched this yesterday. Exact same reaction as you.
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Netflix twins!
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It’s happening over here too, read about it in the papers, and have seen TV documentaries. The world is regressing, in all aspects, as technology progresses.
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Yes, that’s a scary parallel isn’t it?
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Indeed, sadly.
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These tools are ostensibly to hold us closer\inform us but we keep inventing ways to use them as weapons.
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I have little faith that will ever change, but live in hope.
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It made my husband and I mad too. We couldn’t help but to think of our kids as we were watching. So it was also very scary.
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Glad to hear people are watching – I know it’s a tough one but I think we need to pay attention!
And yeah, it’s all the scarier when you’ve got kids and no good way to protect them.
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Argh! I almost went through the roof watching this! Besides the obvious things that really got to me, these really pissed me off to no end:
1. The sheriff in Daisy’s case. What the friggin’ hell? He’s got two daughters of his own! Would he react the same way if God forbid one of them were raped? Gah! I just wanted to hit him.
2. For me what made both assaults even more horrific were the perpetrators. In Audrie’s case these were boys she was friends with. In Daisy’s they were friends of her brothers. That just added another sense of betrayal.
I think this was an incredible documentary, and even deniers of the very real rape culture are going to have a tough time dismissing this!
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Yes, the sheriff and mayor just horrified me – but really it sounds like the whole town was nasty! Well, not the whole town. They did show a group of supporters. But there were tonnes of nasties. Get a clue, people!
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Absolutely. I think the sheriff really got to me because of them showing him dropping his two daughters off at school. But really, the majority of the residents in both towns completely disgusted me.
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I just had lunch with a friend who also has a young grandaughter like me. The texting is out of control since these kids have phones. We both feel sick and helpless. Something has to stop this and maybe if enough people see this movie, we’ll be able to do our jobs as protectors.
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I added this to my list on Netflix, but chose to watch Hit & Run as I needed something a bit lighthearted after just watching the trailer! Looks like it’ll be a tough watch, so thanks for the heads-up!
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very sad indeed, you know whats broken… the laws. its a damn shame these “people” animals really go with a slap on the wrist, when they deserve soooo much more. ok im leaving b4 i really get on my soap box.
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Great review! I watched this when it came out last week. Listening to the sheriff talk almost gave me a rage aneurysm. I hope someone sent that asshole a dictionary with the word “consent” highlighted. I hope everyone sees this doc. It’s important for not only teens, but parents who need to have talks with their children about it too.
I may or may not have bawled at the end of it.
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I know. I think my eyes might have literally been shooting lasers. Sean sure felt as though they were.
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The positive thing about this is this topic is getting so much more attention now. Things can’t change until there’s a change in the mindset of the culture, and that seems to be happening now.
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Sounds pretty heartbreaking, but compelling too. I want to watch this. Excellent review.
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