A Little Bit of Heaven

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My bullshit meter was flashing big red lights when I read Netflix’s description of the Kate Hudson film, A Little Bit of Heaven: she plays a “woman who has everything – including cancer.” Hell yes I was wary, but it seemed like it would be light enough that my head cold could deal with it, so I gave it a go. It was actually a little bit of hell.

I mean, first, kudos for giving Kate Hudson ass cancer. Well, that came out a-little-bit-of-heaven-01wrong. But you know what I mean: usually a pretty blonde will linger with some glamorous kind of cancer that makes you pale but otherwise untouched. Colon cancer is a mother fucker. I mean, you wouldn’t know it from the movie. She even keeps all her hair! But she does get to suffer the indignity of the old camera up the wazoo trick, and has to admit to cute guys that she’s bleeding in her poop. So that’s kind of wonderful. A laugh riot, if you will. At least that’s what they’re striving for. In reality, the movie’s quite tone deaf.

They try really hard to make Marley (Hudson) an edgy, new kind of female character, one that doesn’t need love to be happy. Except of course it’s her Earthbounddying wish. And of course her oncologist happens to be dreamy Gael Garcia Bernal. But there are even worse travesties than this afoot. First, as she lays dying, Marley talks to “God” (Whoopi Goldberg), who apparently is in the business of granting 3 wishes, like a genie. Even more egregious is Peter Dinklage, who pops up as a little person hooker whose nickname is – you guessed it – A Little Bit of Heaven. Because when the jokes about butt cancer dry up, why not make a joke out of someone’s sexuality? Ugh.

But just when you’re about to really give in to this sexy romcom -slash-terminal cancer hilarity, director Nicole Kassall shoves a funnel down your throat to make sure your overdose on sentimentality is complete. It’s the kind of movie that has you wishing Kate Hudson would just die already.

 

 

14 thoughts on “A Little Bit of Heaven”

  1. DotedOn

    Hahaha 😀 I love your reviews, Jay.
    My mom had colon cancer. She didn’t lose her hair with the chemotherapy treatment that she had but other people using the same drugs, did. I’m not sure on what that depends (if you want to know the name of the drugs, I’ll call her and ask her 🙂 ).
    Now, about the poop jokes… That’s really low and sad.
    Anyway, you made me really curious about this one. I want to hate it as much as you did 🙂

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  6. J.

    Eh. I tend to avoid most things with Kate Hudson. Recent exception being Good People. Cause James Franco and Tom Wilkinson. I mean, dreadful movie, but James Franco and Tom Wilkinson, innit?

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  7. tubularsock

    Boy! You certainly have ruined viewership on this one. Just about everything one doesn’t want to see even without a cold! You are one tough woman, Jay. To watch this much shit and live to tell about it.
    THAT itself is impressive!

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