Shouldn’t a sequel feel twice as big as the first movie? And shouldn’t the fifth Jurassic Park and the second Jurassic World feel at least five times bigger than a T-Rex and double the size of the giant fish/dino that ate the Indominus Rex? And shouldn’t Chris Pratt have twice as many raptors on his strike force? And shouldn’t Bryce Dallas Howard be running around in even higher heels than last time? Well, yes, all of that should be happening in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, but instead, JWFK feels really small.
Part GMO cautionary tale and part dinosaur conservation dissertation, JWFK takes too long to get going and then when it does, there are almost no dinosaurs to be found! Okay, every once in a while a dino pops up and eats one of the bad guys or nearly bites a good guy, but more often then not, the danger facing Howard and Pratt is of the non-dino variety, which as everyone knows is the most boring kind of danger there is.
JWFK is not a terrible movie but it’s also not a good one. It’s more forgettable than anything, fading from memory only an hour or so after I left the theatre, mainly because it doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be. For my part, all I wanted it to be was a bunch of loosely-connected dinosaur set pieces, and strangely that is something that JWFK didn’t go for.
One thing JWFK does succeed at is in setting up a whole bunch more sequels, so the studio execs are probably happy with the end product. But for those of us who aren’t getting a cut of the box office, it isn’t nearly as satisfying. Maybe next time.
ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES 
I wish studio executives understand more the co ceplt that if they we don’t like the movie we’ll not care much about the sequel. There have been times when a movie is soo forgettable that when I go in to watch a sequel and they pick up from where they left I barely remember or understand what’s going on.
LikeLiked by 4 people
I felt like that happened to me with this one, actually, and I’m pretty sure I watched Jurassic World not that long ago. It is a bad sign that I can’t even be sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll just wait for the film when it comes on HBO as my only interest in seeing it is J.A. Bayona who has made better films like A Monster Calls.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The directing is not the problem, though there were some callbacks to the first movie that I wished were fully committed to, if that makes sense. But obviously that is a very subjective feeling rather than a real critique.
LikeLike
Yeah, sorry about that. I wanted to support Bayona but I don’t want to go into a movie that might suck as it’s already gotten mixed reviews.
LikeLike
Well the best bit of the previous JP was seeing if Ms.Howard would fall off her shoes, so if they aren’t a feature of this one I’m out.
LikeLiked by 3 people
They’re not entirely absent, but she’s learned some lessons. ALTHOUGH SHE HAS A LOT MORE TO LEARN OMG.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahah going to have to see it.
LikeLike
The first Jurassic Park movie was pure magic when I saw it as a kid. And it’s still really good and feels fun, even though I’ve seen it several times. But the since then the franchise has gone downhill with each sequel. So I didn’t have any hope for this one to begin with…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m not even asking for anyone to match the first. Just give me one where we don’t need humans to make eight or nine bad decisions that let the dinos go on a rampage. Which might be the next one, but I’m not getting my hopes up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah I know. Already when they made that genetically enhanced super dinosaur in the other Jurassic World movie, I lost interest. I mean why would anyone do such a thing – especially in a world where THREE dinosaur related have already happened haha…
LikeLike
I’m sure I’ll end up watching this, but I’m not surprised by your review. The last one (was that #4 already!?) didn’t appeal to me. I don’t like female characters that leave their brains at home just to be rescued by men. Anyway… I think the first movie was so good, that the others have had a tough time living up to it. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think they tried with this one to give women equal hero time, but I’m not sure it worked. You’ll have to let me know what you thought once you see it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, that’s good to know. 🙂 I will.
LikeLike
I’m with you on this one. I know we’re meant to suspend our beliefs for movies like this but the second half just got silly!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed! There was a lot of contorting done to give the bad guys a deserving end, and for that matter to set up the next instalment, at the expense of the film’s “story” and “logic”.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If it’s a good story I’m happy to suspend disbelief—and it takes a lot of suspending to believe we’ve brought back dinosaurs just from their DNA, let alone made new ones—but if the story doesn’t work that just magnified the implausibility.
LikeLike
Good point. This does ask for a lot of tolerance, both of murky science and of really dumb decisions by almost every character. It was too much to ask this time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
When this comes out on DVD/digital I might do a double feature with the first one … or I might not. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would be tempted to pair the first one with something else – maybe a side of Jaws for a classic Spielberg double?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmm … now that’s a thought. 🙂
LikeLike
The trailer looked okay, but I thought the raptor (I think) creeping through the house was a bit daft. Shame they didn’t just follow the formula that made the last effort pretty good fun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hadn’t seen that trailer going in. I thought we’d be on the island the whole time. That’s not a bad thing, of course – I’m just so used to trailers giving away all but the last five minutes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was really hoping for better things from this instalment. Oh well—if I wait for the DVD, I can rewatch the good ones first. Go Dinothon!
LikeLike
That’s true, and the first one is definitely a classic. Beyond that, though, this franchise is kind of lagging, isn’t it? At least 3 of the 5 films are mediocre at best!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I absolutely agree! It’s a shame, when you consider the budget and the acting talent, that the quality wasn’t better.
LikeLike
I was looking forward to seeing this one on the big screen this summer. What a shame. It seems they will never top the first one.
LikeLike
I am so sick of dino movies.
LikeLike
I wanted to like this movie but now, will wait for Redbox or library DVD. Thanks, Sean! I’m glad you were straight forward with this. . . 🍿
LikeLike
Put it this way, I’m not rushing to the cinema. If I was it would be Ocean’s 8 or Ant-Man and the Wasp next month.
LikeLike
I didn’t mind it. It is totally going the Planet of the Apes route though.
LikeLike
I’ve not seen a one Jurassic Park movie. Looks like I’ll keep it that way.
LikeLike
Fuck Jurassic World and fuck this thing.
LikeLike
I have to say that I did enjoy the tone – scary, but in a fun way, like a terrifying roller coaster. I also like some of the old-school horror-film devices, like evil shadows cast on the wall by flickers of lightening. What disappointed me was that a dinosaur that was bred to be the killing machine of killing machines couldn’t seem to find people who were merely on the other side of a podium, and could never seem to catch anyone who was running away. And not enough of the bad guys got eaten.
LikeLike
Pingback: ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIESTop 10 Cameos of 2018