Marrying Father Christmas

So first of all, the good news is, there’s no way this movie can be as bad as its title. Right? Ten seconds in, I receive a shock. This is merely the “latest installment” in the “Father Christmas franchise.” Oh? IMDB fills me in: Finding Father Christmas and Engaging Father Christmas have come before. Indeed, terrible titles seems to be a bit of a tradition for these people.

Miranda (Erin Krakow) and Ian (Niall Matter) met at Christmas two years ago, when she was on a quest to learn the identity of her birth father. He was dead but his widow MV5BNGZhNDk2MWItNjA5ZS00M2FhLWJkY2EtMDBhM2JjMjFiMjU0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNzc2NTMwNzQ@._V1_Margaret (Wendie Malick) welcomed her with open arms. Miranda and Ian got engaged on Christmas last year even though an ex-boyfriend was pursuing her. Guess what they’re doing this year! No really. Guess. If you guessed getting married, well, shame on you. Apparently Miranda (Erin Krakow) and IanΒ  (Niall Matter) have a history of problems arising, putting their relationship on ice. This time it’s an uncle she never knew existed.

Hallmark has taught me that there’s a wider variety of Christmas careers than I’d ever thought – and I don’t mean the actors who film these movies. Our dear Miranda makes her living decorating offices for Christmas. I do not know how she sustains that yearlong, and since the franchise only catches up with her around the holidays, I guess we’ll never know. TWO of Hallmark’s other heroines were prolific wreath makers. We’ve met Santa photographers and gingerbread makers and the people behind the curtains of Christmas pageants. So our Miranda decks the halls of corporate offices. And even though that seems like a pretty season job, she’s taken off this Christmas in order to get married. So I suppose her clients got beChristmased in August.

Marrying Father Christmas has long-lost relatives, new flames, old memories, and even some Dickens. I didn’t give a shit about this movie until the last 2 or 3 minutes, when they FINALLY get married in an intimate, wintry cottage setting, which is how I got married, only mine was of course much better because they were working on a Hallmark budget and I was spending ALL of Sean’s money. Plus, I’m a more is more kind of girl, with expensive, exquisite taste. Plus, when Sean and I were saying our vows, there was no awkward flashback sequence to the rest of our dating “franchise.” We saved all the cheese for the cheese course, which was fabulous.

4 thoughts on “Marrying Father Christmas

  1. orcaflotta

    When I was a student I jobbed nightshifts at a chocolate factory. I was supervising a machine that produces advent calendars non-stop, year-round. Yes, sounds weird but these things are being sold by the millions as you get them in every convenience store and every supermarket chain for just a few weeks every year. You can say the people who work at this machine have xmas “careers” sustaining them year-long.

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  2. thebookwormdrinketh

    Ha ha!! Wow, I don’t know how I didn’t think of the occupations when coming up with my “Hallmark Movie Life Questions” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ They really get us all questioning life, love, time travel, and child trafficking… 🀣🍻

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