The Voices

Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds.

No, I’m not trying to conjure him. I’m just trying to remind myself why I put myself through this in the first place.

I first watched and liked Reynolds when he was on a TV show called Two Guys, A Girl, And A Pizza Place. Yes, it’s a terrible name, and surprisingly, they shortened it a couple of seasons in to just the Two Guys & A Girl (even more surprising that there were a couple of seasons). Horrid as the show was, I’ve liked Reynolds on a scale sloping markedly downward ever since, probably because he’s coasted on being a pretty but empty husk of a the-voicesman. In fact, the more I think about this, the more I realize I didn’t watch this to see if Ryan Reynolds is capable of breaking the mold. I watched it for the talking animals.

The premise: Jerry is just a normal, likable guy who happens to have pets who can talk to him. His cat, Mr. Whiskers, is particularly evil, as I completely expect all cats are, so no one is overly surprised when the cat takes things to a sinister place when an office-crush stands Jerry up for a date. The only thing more satisfying than wet cat food is gruesome serial murder!

The movie is actually kind of interesting in a way – it does a good job of showing us Jerry’s psychosis by giving us contrasting views of what he’s experiencing vs. what everyone else is experiencing. The difference is chilling the first time you notice it, and it’ll haunt you for the rest of the movie.

Jacki Weaver is a stand-out as his court-appointed psychiatrist, which you can 06-voices-review.w750.h560.2ximagine is a doozie of a job. Weaver is always a delight, a god-damned delight, and she’s an excellent stand-in for the audience as Jerry moves from cute to creepy. Is Reynolds any good? It’s clear he’s really into this role, but he kind overdoes the vacant eye thing. Unless those are his real eyes and he’s been wearing convincing puppy dog contacts this whole time! But he’s got a touch of that pre-Deadpool, charming psychopathy that just kind of works.

I’ll make no bones about it: ‘The Voices’ is an odd duck. I’d venture to call this a black comedy, but I’m also wondering what’s blacker than black? Okay, just Googled it, and here’s the scoop: there is in fact a colour blacker than black, and it’s called Vantablack. It absorbs all but 0.035% of light. It’s so black that our puny little brains can’t even understand it, so if you were wearing a Vantablack unitard, your hands and feet would appear to be floating around magically. Which is about right for when your Scottish-accented cat tells you to behead the pretty blonde and stash her in myriad tupperware. You heard it here first, folks, a new genre called the Vantablack comedy, only to be unfurled when the black just doesn’t cover it. It’s the kind of movie you should list on your internet dating profile just to suss out the wackos who respond “Me too!” It’s a great barometer for the people you don’t want to meet in a non-public place, and if you dare to date, then do not stand them up, and if stand them up you must, be sure to call your mother and tell her you love her first.

The Voices isn’t as funny as it thinks it is, and never achieves any true suspense. If you take it at face value you’ll find some cheap voyeuristic thrills, and a good dose of madness (served cold, without the insight sidedish). So yeah. This one’s memorable if you embrace the wacky and don’t mind the macabre.

 

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34 thoughts on “The Voices

  1. actualandrew

    I really enjoyed The Voices. I thought it was it was done quite well. Even though you didn’t enjoy it, I loved reading your review. And I’m definitely going to buy a Vantablack t-shirt.

    Liked by 2 people

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  2. Divorce With Me

    Vantablack. I love it.

    Ryan Reynolds… I compare my view on his acting career to his previous marriage. We are all Scarlett Johanssen. Might seem like a good idea at first but then we quickly realize it wasn’t. 😑 So I’ve divorced Ryan Reynolds. Bad investment… Nothing good ever came out of him. Lol

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  3. Liz A.

    I’ve never been a fan of movies like this. But I love Vantablack comedy. I may have to steal that.
    I remember Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place! I think it was paired with a much better sitcom or something. I never really watched it per se, but I caught an episode now and again. (That was the era when I worked swing shift, so I wasn’t watching prime time TV regularly. I caught episodes of Friends or Seinfeld, but I didn’t watch the whole run.)

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  4. Sarah Ferguson and Choppy

    Every time someone talks about Ryan Reynolds, I find myself attempting to remember who he is (usually, this ends with me going, “Is he that one in the movie with Sandra Bullock in Alaska?”). He is just absolutely forgettable to my mind.

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    1. Jay Post author

      Yeah, there are 2 Canadian Ryans – Reynolds and Gosling. Both starred in movies with Sandra Bullock but only one dated her (as far as I know).

      Liked by 2 people

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  5. J.

    I wasn’t even really aware of what this was about. Being a Ryan Reynolds flick and all, I just didn’t really care. Until now. I think I want to see this.

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      1. Jay Post author

        I can barely keep any super heroes straight so I don’t even try, and both greens were not terribly well received so they’re even worse off!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Lloyd Marken

        They’re two completely different heroes. The Green Hornet is a millionaire playboy who at night with a dope car and gadgets and his chauffeur go out and fight crime like a proto-Batman. There was an original TV series in the 60s which starred Bruce Lee as the chauffeur. The Seth Rogen flick of a few years ago took this story and went for the comedy angle. Think the Starsky and Hutch film with Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson only not as good-in fact pretty damn….well not great. Then there is the Green Lantern, a true golden age DC comic book hero. Originally a USAF test pilot, Hal Jordan comes across a crashed alien ship and is given a powerful green ring by a dying being inside. This is a ring that allows him flight and other superpowers mostly around the idea of him being able to manifest anything his mind can imagine. Say he aims the ring and creates an air mattress for someone to fall onto after letting go a ladder. Hal Jordan with the ring becomes a member of the Green Lantern Corp who stretch all over the known universe as a Galactic Police Force. Think United Nations Peacekeepers. Jordan was in the comics noble, steady, serious. Think a young Paul Newman who his looks was based on. Ryan Reynolds was horribly miscast in the film adaptation, unlike Chris Evans playing against type as Captain America, Reynolds just did his usual spiel and unfortunately for him the film directed by the talented Martin Campbell was just plain old fucking shit. I’m afraid I don’t know a lot about the characters to go any further into it but that’s some of the differences…..oh yes I was single for a long time in my 20s. Why do you ask? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Jay Post author

        Well, those are both obscure enough that I had never heard of either before movies magically appeared. They shouldn’t have such similar names! And to tell the truth, now that I’ve seen them both I remember neither, not a single of their super powers, whatever they may be.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Courtney Small

    I watched this on Netflix a few weeks back. I liked it far more than I thought I would, based on the negative TIFF reviews, but it is an odd beast. A banyan lack comedy is a good description for it. While disjointed at times, this film kept my interest the whole way through. That dance number was…well it was something completely out of left field.

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  7. Created by RCW

    I liked Reynolds more than you did in this role, but overall agree with you that it was a meh movie that had possibilities.

    My biggest peeve was that it peaked early and gave itself nowhere to go…as I said in my own review (https://createdbyrcw.com/2014/09/13/the-voices-gets-a-hearing-a-review/), the conflict didn’t escalate so much as accumulate. Also thought Anna Kendrick’s character was a complete waste of space. Cat and dog made the movie for me.

    Always fun reading your reviews, my friend.

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  8. kmSalvatore

    well first Jay thanks, i for the life of me couldn’t remember what show i knew Jerry from. and as soon as i started reading this..i said…”of course” so thanks for that little tidbit:)
    sounds like a kool movie, no real violence, some chuckles..im in 🙂 thanks for a kool review

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  9. Carrie Rubin

    I had completely forgotten about “Two Guys, A Girl, And A Pizza Place.” I watched that when it was on and remember liking it. Or maybe I just liked Ryan Reynolds. I forgot that was one of his early roles.

    As for this movie, it sounds just odd enough to make me want to check it out. But I won’t go in with high expectations.

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  10. Khalid Rafi

    Remember seeing this a couple of years back…or last year, cant seem to remember.
    Cant say I liked it as much as I expected to. Didnt really have the dark humor or the comedy for me.

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  11. Pingback: SXSW: Prevenge | ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES

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