Bent

Bobby Moresco is trying to make “bent” happen. “Bent” is the new word for crooked cops, apparently, and writer-director Morsesco cannot bear the thought that any of you don’t know about this super cool slang, so he half-assed a whole movie around the concept and put it on Netflix so that you can ultra hip and not embarrass yourself in front of potentially crooked cops.

Anyway, Danny (Karl Urban) is a cop who watches his buddy cop get shot during a deal gone wrong. Or something like that. The first 10 minutes of this film are needlessly confusing. But that’s still preferable to the last 86 minutes, which are just bad. And that covers the entire 96 minutes!

Danny, disgraced and off the force, decides to lead his own private investigation into MV5BM2NlMjdjMmYtNDYzMi00NDU0LWI3NGItZTlhMTg1ZTQ0NzFmXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMzEzMjg5NjA@._V1_what went wrong. So he does that thing where he circles the date on the calendar and his heart is filled with revenge lust and he has a beard so you know he’s morose and broody. His mentor (Andy Garcia) is more concerned for his love life and maybe his personal safety, and both of those might be threatened by a mysterious government agent (Sofia Vergara).

Karl Urban is a good actor and Sofia Vergara is a bad actor (she doesn’t even fall convincingly!) but none of that matters because the script is so terrible it forms an opaque force field over the movie that feels pretty darn impenetrable.

The thing is, it does honestly at times feel like the whole script is built around just saying the word ‘bent’ a lot. A lot. Some stuff does happen but it’s pretty worthless. Can you hear my disappointment oozing through the screen? It’s so generic it offends me. It’s immediately indistinguashable among the offal of its genre. The twists and turns are painful.The love interest is painfuller. The dialogue is painfullest.

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18 thoughts on “Bent

  1. raistlin0903

    Well…thanks for saving me the time to go and watch this one. I probably would have as I’m a huge fan of Karl Urban. But this really doesn’t seem worth it. Sorry for having to suffer through this one 😢

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. msjadeli

    I’ve seen “Bent” in the video store a few times and maybe even picked the case up once or twice but never committed to renting it. I agree that Karl Urban is a good actor. How does he keep showing up in these stinkers?? He needs better roles and/or a better agent. You know why Sofia Vergara was in this. It wasn’t her acting skillz.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Jay Post author

      Yeah, but I don’t find her sexy at all.
      I don’t know why poor Karl can’t quite break out. He’s been so good in some things, but you’re right, I guess starring role wise, it’s still mostly stinkers.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. msjadeli

        I don’t either, but believe me, many do. Maybe we should become his managers. We could find him some roles to appropriately raise his star factor.

        Like

  3. selizabryangmailcom

    “The first 10 minutes of this film are needlessly confusing. But that’s still preferable to the last 86 minutes, which are just bad. And that covers the entire 96 minutes!”
    Lol, that says it all ! !

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  4. cheekymonkeyswriting

    When someone casts Sofia Vergara as the mysterious government agent, you know right away they are shooting themselves in the foot. And I like Sofia Vergara , I think there is a place for her in certain roles. Furthermore, I admire people that seem aware of who they are and take advantage of their limitations, something that Sofia seems to be in touch with. ( for some reason I just turned this into a review of Sofia Vergara’s work but since the movie seems like crap, I don’t think I’m missing much by focusing on Sofia.)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  5. Liz A.

    I’ll make sure to watch out for a movie called Basic, then. Slang words don’t need movies for definition. Words enter the lexicon due to good movies (see: Gaslight).

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  6. The Inner Circle

    I think this was a Lionsgate straight to home video film…..I like Karl Urban too and am bummed he got sucked into another subpar effort,he did “Hangman” as well and that also fell a little short.
    Sofia isn’t bad,its just that she has a very limited range….she was really was quite good in “Chef” where she played a somewhat normal role.

    Liked by 2 people

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