There’s Someone Inside Your House

On the one hand, a title like that sends chills up my spine and I feel a little less excited to be watching it alone in my stupid creaking house, but on the other hand, really? Really? Could you get any lazier? Why not ‘Look out, he’s right behind you!’ or ‘He’s definitely in the basement’ or ‘You’ll be dead before you orgasm’? Plus it isn’t even factually correct at least half of the time.

Anyway, can you get past a somewhat inane title?

Also: can you forgive some pretty heavy-handed wokeness? Normally I find it hard to find fault with people who want to be better and do better but in a horror movie it just feels shoe-horned in.

Still with me?

Makani (Sydney Park) has finally put her traumatic past behind her and has a nice group of solid friends at her new school. Rodrigo (Diego Josef) is quiet but funny once you get to know him. He’s got a crush on Alex (Asjha Cooper), the resident bitch with a heart of gold, who maybe kinda reciprocates it. Darby (Jesse LaTourette) is a space nerd and Zach (Dale Whibley) is the obligatory rich kid and Caleb (Burkely Duffield) is the gay football player and Ollie (Théodore Pellerin) is the creepy kid on the periphery. Got all that? Basic horror movie tropes with a more concerted effort toward inclusivity. Just your typical high school diversity ad when all of a sudden, someone’s picking off teenagers. Wearing a 3D-printed mask of their victim’s faces, the killer is picking off kids who are hiding secrets, and exposing them for all to see. Armed with a classic oversized knife that glints in the light when it’s not dripping in blood.

Are we rewriting the genre here? We most certainly are not. But they’re an affable bunch of kids and it’s pretty fun watching them get slaughtered. Besides, it’s Spooktober and you’ve got to fill that calendar with something slasherrific, so why not this?

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