Workaholic Molly is probably the only person at the company who’s actually disappointed when the office closes down for the holidays, paid days off for everyone. She’d be at home twiddling her thumbs if not for a radio contest that awards her a trip to Jamaica. She boards the plane eagerly, wearing her floppy sunhat, though still steadfastly texting clients. The plane’s already in the air when Molly (Nicky Whelan) learns there’s a Jamaica, Vermont, and as luck would have it, she’s going to that one. Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for that jerk at the airport she instantly dislikes – Jared (Josh Kelly) is going to be integral to the romance part of Romance At Reindeer Lodge.

The movie wouldn’t work if she just got on another flight and went home – or to the good Jamaica. No, instead the script conspires to strand her there, but then her time at the lodge is completely unmarred by winter storms (in fact, production seems not even to have sprung for much fake snow), so what, exactly, is grounding her? No, no, it’s rather Scrooge-y of you to ask such things. Where’s your Christmas spirit? They’re “stuck” at the lodge with one other couple who is hanging around rather doggedly to see the reindeer. And apparently the reindeer are shy. But in the meantime, the lodge looks like it was decorated by someone who has Christmas I.B.S. and every second sentence is “We have a tradition here at Reindeer Lodge…” and then something ridiculous happens.

I don’t really appreciate the artifice and trickery, but I suppose it’s difficult to keep coming up with slightly new ways to trap grown adults into celebrating the holidays in a manner not of their choosing.

Also, and this is an honest question: how many houses can really get foreclosed on on Christmas Eve?

Anyway, why wouldn’t 4 complete strangers, some of whom don’t even mean to be there, suddenly devote their Christmas holidays to saving the very lodge they were already lured to under false pretenses and are paying good money to stay at? And if I know one thing about hectic unpaid labour it’s that it’s SUPER romantic. Of course, Christmas movie romances take place almost solely in the heart. The only physical affection allowed is either a dance, or adorably putting flour on someone’s nose during a baking montage – though definitely not both, you ignorant slut. And then there’s the single close-mouthed kiss to close-out the show. Voila: some real Christmas magic, rated G.