Suicide Squad [spoilers included]

A hot mess. That’s what it is.

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn is just about the only reason to watch this thing, and honestly, I’d like to break up with the rest of the movie and do the post-break-up thing where I cut the rest of the cast out of all the pictures and just make a glorious 18 minute movie out of just the Robbie footage. I’d be happier with that. Not super happy. I still thought the Quinn character was too loosely drawn and scantly introduced. Like, I totally buy that a patient could brainwash her into being evil. But there is no amount of SUICIDE SQUADbrainwashing on the planet that could induce me to speak with a Jersey accent randomly. Or to replace my PhD-level vocabulary with baby talk. That shit is bananas.

I don’t know much about this Suicide Squad outside of what the movie told me, and what the movie told me was downright confusing. Supposedly they’re super-villains, mostly sprung from tremendous prison sentences. Yet assembled they’re pretty…meek. And reserved. And obedient. I thought we’d get to see them just going apeshit in Gotham, unleashing all kinds of gleeful hell, but instead they thoughtfully fight a super bland villain that I felt mislead about in the marketing campaign.

The only thing I really connected to in the movie was the music. I assume that the money they saved on Tom Hardy backing out was funneled directly to the music budget. We don’t know for sure why Hardy left – some say for reshoots for The Revenant, some say he just didn’t like the script (although I expect most of the big stars signed on without seeing a script). I think he was supposed to be the most vanilla cracker out there, Rick Flag, and I can’t imagine him being happy with that crummy role. While I appreciated the music (great big pop anthems that helped perk me back up – my patience and attention floundered considerably, and often), I can also see how it was a cop out. First off: you aren’t Guardians of the Galaxy. Music had a purpose and is part of the universe. In Suicide Squad it just felt they were using music to distract us from the fact that they didn’t know how else to finish a scene. Or begin the next one.

Being part of the Suicide Squad must be a lot like being part of Taylor Swift’s squad. I mean, can you name anyone in it besides Taylor Swift? Harley Quinn is obviously the Taylor Swift here, and Will Smith is The Duff (designated ugly fat friend) – he’s nice to b936730e4fcc67ae733b48c1a797dc91fff102d1have around mostly just to prop her up. Smith didn’t annoy me as much as I feared (this movie has so many bigger problems), but Robbie is the true star. She plays Quinn not with a truly villainous heart, but with a completely troubled one – with loads of vulnerability. When the witch tempts her with a vision, her true heart’s desire is revealed to be…a banal suburban existence, completely with a husband and an infant. Clearly the good Doctor is still buried within her, and is peaking through. Or maybe it’s the baby in her belly poking mama in utero. Because she must be pregnant, right? Why else would the Joker so doggedly rescue her? He’s not exactly the kind of guy who’s all about love, honour, and commitment. But what if she’s his baby mama? Why else would he be seen lying in a womb made out of knives, skirted with baby clothes? It must have been some bad-guy baby shower!

Speaking of the Joker…what the fuck? I’m not in love with Jared Leto’s portrayal, and I’m not certain about David Ayer’s intention. Who is this Joker? Chris Nolan’s Joker was so demented there’s no way he could be in a relationship. You cannot picture Heath Ledger’s Joker having a Netflix and chill night with his girlfriend. So this Joker’s…I’m not sure. Down to earth just seems wrong. But he’s not as twisted. He’s more human, in a hipster’s SUICIDE SQUADironic conception of a Latino gangster-cum-circus clown hybrid kind of way. We didn’t see much of him so it’s hard to tell, but he also didn’t seem as evilly inventive as I’ve come to expect in a Joker. So he’s possessive and he’s got some hacker friends. Big deal. I’m sorry that so many of Leto’s scenes ended up on the cutting room floor because I found him to be the second most compelling character in the bunch, and he’s not even on the squad! He’s the Calvin Harris of the bunch. Or the Tom Hiddleston, I suppose, just trying to steal Taylor Swift away all for himself. Fuck the squad.

And let’s be honest: this movie couldn’t handle the squad. It didn’t know what to do with them. The introductions were wildly variable, and, spoiler alert: the character who noticeably didn’t get one DIES. Yeah, that’s right, Ayer. Your shit is weak. You clearly couldn’t cook up a fun and deliciously depraved story for these fuckers so you gave us this watered down jumble instead. You should have saved it for someone who had the cojones. I think a satisfactory Joker-Quinn story could have been told here instead. DC jumped the gun with Suicide Squad – too many unknown characters, too little for them to do, too little story to make us care. But watching ‘Mister J’ change diapers for little Joker Junior in Arkham? Now that I’d be down for.

 

 

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52 thoughts on “Suicide Squad [spoilers included]

  1. Birgit

    I am hearing nothing but it’s a Hot mess and it seems the editing is a big problem here. Everyone is mentioning the girl as the best thing and nobody even mentions Will Smith which kind of makes me smile. I think I’ll wait u til it’s on tv

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      1. allendemir

        Desperately trying to prop up his son for the last several years has probably sucked the life out of the former Bel Aire prince.

        Like

  2. Tom

    Yeah I could not agree more with this because this thing downright disappointed my pants off. Fucking the Joker was in it for like 8 mins I think I saw someone post. David Ayer is a director I really like and I kind of think that this is the equivalent of David Fincher’s Alien3 where the studio got nervous and got all handsy with Ayer’s movie and then it got all fucked up.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      1. allendemir

        So what does the Joker even do if he’s not on the team and he’s not the one running it? I can’t picture him talking on the radio like Charlie in Charlie’s Angels.

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      2. Jay Post author

        He’s completely underused and the parts he does pop up for are irrelevant to the plot. He clearly didn’t belong in this movie, they only stuck him in because he’s the only character that’s remotely familiar to most non-diehard moviegoers.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Jay Post author

      Yeah, I tried to like it more but it’s badly written, terribly edited, and not very well imagined. It may be plausibly acted but there’s not enough room for anyone to really show it. And worst of all: it just wasn’t very fun.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Kim

    This is so disappointing. The producers and director had such a great opport here and it sounds like they blew it. Being a fan of the original comic, I’m not sure if I’ll even watch this when it comes out on dvd.πŸ˜•

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    1. Jay Post author

      I’m confused by the look of the Joker, I’m not happy with how Leto is doing him (but willing to reserve judgement because of the short screen time), and I’m not sure how the character differs from other Jokers, though it’s clear he does. So that’s a bad start.

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    1. Jay Post author

      I thought it was disappointing to spend so much of the action on CGI stuff. This movie needed an ultimate villain to go up against the squad and enchantress only convinced me she wasn’t it.

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    1. Jay Post author

      Yeah. Lots of people think the trailer was the best part. It made the movie feel fun. They totally failed to translate that to the movie though. It’s too convoluted.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. Shawn

    This review is pretty close to my opinion. I did find it a step up from BvS. Also, gimme those Anthropoid tickets in ottawa please!

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  5. J.

    Reckon this looks pretty dreadful and from what I’ve read that definitely seems to be the case. Seems all the thumbs are pointing towards the floor …

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  6. Courtney Young

    A hot mess INDEED! I forgot about Hardy’s detachment from this movie; obviously he made a wise decision, because the movie is such a disaster. It was my most anticipated movie of the year, and what a disappointment it turned out to be. David Ayer needs to be silenced…every time he opens his mouth, more stupidity and word vomit seep out.

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    1. Jay Post author

      It’s a little funny to watch them try to spin bad movies.
      I wasn’t super looking forward to this, but the other Assholes were, so there’s quite a bit of disappointment in our camp too. Too bad. It feels like there must have been a good movie in there somewhere.

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  7. allendemir

    You’re probably right about them jumping the gun with this one. Look at how long Marvel took to set up the Avengers movies. Hell, Captain America and Thor probably only got movies so they’d be introduced before the first Avengers.

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