The Accidental Husband

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A “love doctor” radio host counsels a caller to break up with her fiance. The jilted ex vows revenge on said love doctor. Hilarity ensues?

This plot is so predictable. Jeffrey Dean Morgan plays the fire fighter who gets left in advance of the alter. He doesn’t stop for even a second to ask himself if perhaps his gaping immaturity might be a contributing factor, and instead hatches a plan for vengeance against the well-meaning woman (Uma Thurman) who suggested that a caller follow her own intuition and call off a hastily planned wedding to a guy she’d only known a few months. His plan is to of course humiliate the good doctor in her own love life, making it impossible for her to wed her intended (Colin Firth).

1533_largeIf you’ve seen more than 5 movies, then you already know what’s going to happen: she’s going to hate the hell out of Jeffrey Dean Morgan right up to the moment when she falls madly in love with him. She will ditch her fiance, who is not a bad guy, whose only flaw seems to be believing his girlfriend isn’t a complete whack job.

I loathe this movie. I detest all movies like it. I can’t even decide if it’s more demeaning to women or to men but it’s god-awful and doesn’t even have the courtesy to make sense. Spoiler alert: this movie is for the brainless. If this is your idea of a romantic comedy, you deserve to die alone, your bloated corpse eaten by your cats who never respected you anyway.

The Accidental Husband has a 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and this had made me FURIOUS. Who is the piece of shit 6% who’s ruining it for the rest of us? Well, I was incensed enough to track her down: her name is S. Jhoanna Robledo and she’s the ONLY critic who gave it a fresh rating, and I’m assuming also the only critic to have guzzled the sperm of this movie’s lousy director, Griffin Dunne (who has not been allowed to direct a movie since, thank fuck). Robledo writes for Common Sense Media, a website that – get this! – helps parents decide if a movie is okay for kids to watch. She told parents that The Accidental Husband is “teen-friendly” but forgot to mention the part where it makes monsters and rapists out of boys and pathetic, subservient nincompoops out of girls. Christ Almighty.

20 thoughts on “The Accidental Husband”

  3. Liz A.

    Last night I read a book where the plot was thoroughly predictable. It had an obvious ending, and the whole thing was so derivative as to be brainless. But I kind of liked it.

    Sometimes, we just need fiction that’s comforting. It hits the tropes we like. I think that’s the only reason I liked this book. I could rip it apart in an honest critique, but I enjoyed reading it. I’m assuming that’s what was “good” about this movie. For a certain type of moviegoer.

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  4. Christopher

    Once I stopped laughing I stopped to wonder, is Colin Firth under some kind of contractual obligation to star in at least one romantic comedy every year? Maybe I should go look at his filmography because I can’t remember him starring in anything else, but when I think of both Thurman and Morgan I think of a wide range of roles.
    Firth, on the other hand…it’s romantic comedies all the way down.

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  12. Birgit

    You made me laugh! The cats eating the corpse is too funny and how i feel about some movies. I like Colin Firth but I wonder why he keeps picking these films that are beneath his acting chops. Oh well, maybe when I am sick, laying on the couch with the tv on, too weak to change the channel via the remote, I might see this film. Of course i will have forgotten about your review until I am watching it and the cat eating the corpse visual pops into my head:)

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  13. J.

    Few folks on the train looking at the guy who just laughed out loud. Total Dr. Claw moment. Or Jabba the Hutt. Loved this.

    I would expect better from Thurman. Not so much Morgan and especially not Firth (that guy reads ‘romantic comedy’ and signs).

    … but it’s on Netflix, eh?

    … kidding.

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