Pompeii

Kit Harington. Apparently he’s on some successful sitcom called Winter Is Coming and he plays the snow or something. And he has a pet dragon? And a very sexually attractive sister? I don’t know, I’ve never seen it.

But I have seen those abs, so sculpted I’m wondering if they aren’t CGI. And I’m wondering if the costume designer is Kit’s mother, because who else would ever cover them up? And yet there are curious times when he flashes more thigh than gleaming, chiseled chest.

MV5BMTgzMDkzMjg2N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwOTc1NDcxMTE@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,1503,1000_AL_Anyway, I watched a bad movie called Pompeii. He of the sublime 6-pack plays a horse-whispering slave, used for gladiator-style fighting, and perhaps sex. But because of his goodness with animals, he curries the favour of a fair maiden, lady Cassia (Emily Browning) who is being hotly pursued\blackmailed into marriage by Senator Corvius (Kiefer Sutherland). And if that wasn’t bad enough, a volcano erupts and kills them all. Haha, classic.

Anyway, the only point of watching this movie is for the objectification of bodies, and we should refrain from that since working out for this role gave Kit Harington body dysmorphia, which is kind of gross. I think we have really overstepped the bounds when actors are spending months preparing physically for a role, and about 10 minutes learning lines, and no time at all wondering whether they’re any good. Somebody spent EIGHTY MILLION DOLLARS on this movie. They built a volcano from scratch but forced a man to eat 3000 calories a day to put on 30 lbs in 5 weeks??? That’s barbaric. He then went on a very severe diet and ‘cutting’ regimen for 4 weeks to cut back to 140lbs, which man mean some intense muscle definition but cannot be healthy in the least. Not that anyone call tell how ripped you were once you’re reduced to ashes.

 

 

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16 thoughts on “Pompeii

  1. Kim

    Hilarious that I just rewatched this yesterday for a podcast recording! Haha! I thought it was bad because I saw it first on a flight but it really doesn’t get any better.

    Liked by 3 people

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  2. Christopher

    So the people of Pompeii spent an incredible amount of time and effort building a vibrant city that was then destroyed by a volcano, making everything they did pointless. Well, almost pointless. Now it’s a tourist attraction famous for two things: being destroyed by a volcano and a lot of pornographic art.
    I keep getting the feeling that if the producers had been smarter they would have seen the movie as a meta-commentary on itself, that there could have been a “making of” coda that said, “Yeah, we just blew up 80 million bucks for nothing!”

    Liked by 4 people

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  3. bookbeachbunny

    I read the book for this one and was absurdly annoyed but not surprised that they had changed the character. In the book he was some kind of scientist expert on the waterways/canals (I can’t think of what their called) but it all tied in much better and covered the ending. In the movie it was like yeah, no scientist hot slave/gladiator! How else are we going to see those abs? Best part of the movie though 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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  4. ninvoid99

    I saw this film on TV and yeah, what a piece of shit. I agree with Christopher about the reasons to go to Pompeii though I would add a third reason which is to go to the Coliseum where Pink Floyd played a show their for the film Live at Pompeii.

    Liked by 3 people

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  5. Grace Reed

    This movie might be a 0/10 but this review is a 10/10. Well done. Pompeii is definitely one of my favorites as far as bad movies go though. Keifer Sutherland gives a truly brilliant and unique performance. Don’t you agree?

    Liked by 2 people

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  6. Colane Conundrum

    “I think we have really overstepped the bounds when actors are spending months preparing physically for a role, and about 10 minutes learning lines, and no time at all wondering whether they’re any good.”

    This sentence made me spray coffee out my nostrils. I’m still laughing as I clean up the mess.

    Liked by 1 person

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