The Christmas Calendar

When Emily’s grandmother passes away, she quits her job as a lawyer and returns home to run her fledgling bakery. Emily (Laura Bell Bundy) quickly learns that keeping the bakery going is likely to be an uphill battle, especially when esteemed French pastry chef Gerard (Brendon Zub) opens a competing bakery across the street (this town isn’t big enough for the both of us!).

Not to worry though: Emily’s got a pretty decent distraction going on. Some anonymous suitor dropped off a Christmas calendar to her bakery, and each day she’s drumming up business by opening up a little door to find a hand-written love note inside. The town’s women are swooning over them, the town’s men are laying bets, the town newspaper is following the story, but nobody knows who sent it. And don’t go assuming you know either, just because the secret admirer and the sexy French baker arrived in town on the same day. Purely coincidence. And the townspeople agree because every time they discuss potential admirers, a whole bunch of walk-on characters are mentioned but Gerard is constantly, conveniently left off the list. And Emily’s not going to jump the gun and find out too soon – this little mystery is good for business.

The leads are not charmless but you’ll notice that ‘Brendon Zub’ is not exactly French sounding and, well, neither is his accent – but it does manage to come off as unintentionally sinister. For a movie about competing bakers, there is a curious absence of food porn. None of the bakers ever bake. They do, however, handle the food barehanded and sell stuff that’s fallen on the floor. But perhaps it’s the editing that is most baffling. One moment the two bakers are feuding, the next they’re feeding each other truffles. Even considering the typical phony will they-won’t they of a Hallmark Christmas movies, this film feels like it’s missing a very important 15 minutes from the middle. Or maybe it’s the script, which sounds like it was written by someone raised in a locked closet. But no, let’s be real: the worst part is definitely that accent.

 

 

To cleanse your Christmas palate, here is my niece Ella, a 4 year old in pre-kindergarten, and her cousin Jack, 5 (nearly 6, he would want me to tell you), a kindergartener, both in the same class at school, singing you a little song – in French 😉

12 thoughts on “The Christmas Calendar

  1. Invisibly Me

    None of the bakers even bake? Brilliant! 😂 Hadn’t heard of this one. Is it a new release or an oldie? Will have to investigate.

    Aww little Ella is such a sweetie, and the nearly-6 Jack does his dance around her perfectly. Bravo indeed!! xx

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    1. Jay Post author

      It’s called Quand le père Noël

      Quand le père Noël vient me visiter (when Santa Claus visits me)
      Il descend par la cheminée (he comes down the chimney) – this is the part where Jack does the wiggle

      Il porte des bottes noires (he wears black boots) – that’s when he picks up his feet
      Ho! Ho! Ho!

      Refrain

      Il porte des bottes noires
      Avec une culotte rouge (and red pants) – jack seems to step into an invisible pair of pants
      Ho! Ho! Ho!

      Refrain

      o Il porte des bottes noires
      o Avec une culotte rouge
      o Avec une ceinture noire (and a black belt) – he buckles a belt around his waist
      Ho! Ho! Ho!

      Refrain

      o Il porte des bottes noires
      o Avec une culotte rouge
      o Avec une ceinture noire
      o Avec un beau manteau rouge (and a nice red coat) – jack never makes it this far, his mom cuts him off if you can believe it
      Ho! Ho! Ho!

      Refrain

      o Il porte des bottes noires
      o Avec une culotte rouge
      o Avec une ceinture noire
      o Avec un beau manteau rouge
      o Avec une tuque rouge (and a red hat)
      Ho! Ho! Ho!
      Quand le père Noël vient me visiter
      Il descend par la cheminée

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      1. leendadll

        I thought I got putting on boots & pants and ho-ho-ho but as lost on the “I Dream of Jeannie” wiggle. Thanks for the translation… and both vids, which were fun to watch!

        My neighbor kid will sometimes do class dance routines for me but never singing!

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  2. Liz A.

    When something is so obvious, they really should own that, you know? Of course it’s the new baker in town. That’s just lazy writing.

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