The Island

17 Replies

Lincoln Six Echo (Ewan McGregor) lives in a futuristic community where life is prescribed for him: meals, wardrobe, job, friend, all are decided for him and none are negotiable. It’s to keep them safe. There’s been an extinction-level event “outside” in the world, and the survivors survive only because of the safety provided by the colony, and by following the rules. There are two bright spots in Lincoln’s life. The first is Jordan Two Delta (Scarlett Johansson), a woman who seems to breeze through life unscathed and unoppressed by the sterility and rigidity of her surroundings. Unfortunately, proximity rules keep them apart both literally and figuratively. The second bright spot is the lottery, wherein random colonists are selected to go to The Island, a tropical oasis of peace and tranquility, a sun-drenched retirement highly anticipated by all in the last uncontaminated paradise on earth.

Except lately Lincoln is plagued by nightmares. He has memories of life before the colony. He’s starting to question things.

Unfortunately, what might have been an interesting piece of science fiction turns to shit in the hands of director Michael Bay, who prioritizes explody things over plot and character at literally every turn. Every time there’s a plot hole, he fills it with flames or a car crash or both, like hanging a poster over all the cracks in the wall. Unfortunately, the posters do very little when the whole house comes crashing down, and Michael Bay hasn’t laid a foundation in years. If all you’re after is mindless action (and it’s okay if you are, there’s a time and a place for everything), this is a pretty flashy poster, probably the equivalent of a chick in a bikini straddling a motorcycle. It’s just too bad that he ruined a pretty good concept when he could have left this in someone else’s more capable hands and just filmed another Big Dumb Man Drives Recklessly While Shouting Slogans And Grabbing His Crotch And Saluting The American Flag script instead.

17 thoughts on “The Island”

  1. Robert Horvat

    I remember being disappointed with The Island too. To be honest with you, Michael Bay has never really lit up the screen. Yeah sure, he made millions out of the Transformers franchise, but critically his movies are duds.

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  3. Christopher

    I was, and still am, really intrigued by the ethical questions this film’s premise raised and I feel like Bay was intrigued too. The problem is he has the attention span of a goldfish.
    I’m not saying it would be easy, but it is possible to take on serious ethical issues and make a compelling film–see Gattaca, for instance.
    I wish the studio had taken this film away from Bay and given it to someone more capable, and that wouldn’t have been difficult. All they’d have to do is give him something shiny to replace it.

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  6. trailertrashed89

    “Big Dumb Man Drives Recklessly While Shouting Slogans And Grabbing His Crotch And Saluting The American Flag”
    This may be my favourite line I have ever seen a critic write. And so accurate! Great review!

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  8. ninvoid99

    Yeah, this was awful as I often wondered why Scarlett ever did that film. I bet she often asked that question as well as she admitted to not have enjoyed the production and didn’t get along with Michael Bay. She probably hated the film too. It is an awful film as it’s just a bloated rip-off of Logan’s Run but with clones and body parts.

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  10. kindredspirit23

    Lol, I really liked this movie…have it on DVD and have watched it about 1/2 dozen times. It is always pretty good for me, but, I will have to agree that, after the initial story, it could have gone much differently.
    There is another Micheal Bay movie which I would like to suggest you do a piece on…Underground Eight, I believe it is called. I watched and wouldn’t mind watching it again. Funny, explosions (of course), car chases (of course) and a decent story with some decent acting. I leave the rest to you.
    Scott

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  11. Paul

    Wasn’t this a Bayified remake of The Clonus Horror?

    It’s been a while since I saw teh earlier film, but I remember quite liking it. I didn’t bother seeing The Island because Michael Bay.

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      1. Paul

        I just googled it and the makers of The Clonus Horror did indeed sue DreamWorks over the Island. According to Wikipedia, they reached a settlement which involved a seven figure sum being handed over.

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  13. J.

    I remember thinking this sounded good way back when it came out… “unusual for Bay”, I thought… and then I saw the trailer…

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