Tag Archives: Chad Michael Murray

Survive The Night

Dr. Rich (Chad Michael Murray) has recently been humbled quite a bit. A mistake at work cost him his job, which cost him his house, which means he’s had to move his wife and daughter into his parents’ home and accept a job at a clinic that he considers beneath him. Living at home is a bitter pill to swallow; his parents dote on their granddaughter and daughter-in-law, but Rich and his father Frank have always had an especially difficult relationship. Frank (Bruce Willis) is everything his son is not: he’s a gun-toting, truck-driving, country-loving man of few words, but he’s about to be very good to have around, because if Rich thought his life couldn’t get any worse, he didn’t count on meeting Jamie and Matt.

Jamie (Shea Buckner) and Matt (Tyler Jon Olson) are brothers and thieves who are on their way to the safety of Mexico but Jamie is a touchy combination of trigger-happy and intelligence-deprived and before they can make it to the freedom of the border, he’s got them into some more hot water, and Matt now has a serious gunshot wound that needs treating. Which is how they come to hold Dr. Rich and his family hostage. They have correctly identified Chad Michael Murray as both feeble and insecure. Unfortunately they hadn’t heard that Frank is a retired cop just itching for an excuse to jump right back into the fray. Jamie and Matt provide quite an excuse.

The movie is better than I expected but still incredibly not good. It suffers fatally from pacing; the first half is slow to set things up, and then the second half is almost comedically over-stuffed with people escaping and getting caught in an improbable and quickly unentertaining cycle of dumb and dumber.

If you’re desperate for an undemanding popcorn flick, I suppose this might do, if you remember that a movie that has Bruce Willis in it makes Chad Michael Murray its star. Lower your expectations, and then lower them again. It may pass the time and fulfill a basic quota, but even if you like it, and that’s a pretty big if, you’re still bound to forget it, and believe me, that’s for the best.

A Madea Christmas

Lacey (Tika Sumpter) calls to tell her mother that unfortunately she won’t be able to make it home for Christmas this year. What she really means is: I’m hiding a white boyfriend from you. But she can’t bring herself to say it due to her mother’s weak heart, so she makes her excuses and begs off. What Lacey’s mother Eileen (Anna Maria Horsford) hears is: Mama, I love you, I miss you terribly, please make my Christmas dreams come true by showing up unannounced. Which of course Eileen does, with none other than aunt Madea in tow.

10986_1Eileen and Madea (Tyler Perry) think white boyfriend -Connor is just the “farm hand” and Eileen finds all kinds of clever ways to be rude and dismissive. And when Connor’s parents (Kathy Najimy, Larry the Cable Guy) show up (invited), the house is crowded and Eileen’s attitude goes into overdrive.

I usually really dislike Madea movies, I find them juvenile and too ludicrous to laugh at. I’m not sure if this one is better than average or if I’ve just watched too many schmaltzy Hallmark holiday movies, but this particular one I managed to make peace with. A Madea Christmas is a ‘Who’s who?’ ( note the question mark, it’s a real difference maker) of washed up, c-list celebrities of yesteryear. Chad Michael Murray plays a real redneck racist, and the costume designer slaps an American flag on every available surface of his clothing to prove it (and this, mind you, is pre-Trump, and downright prescient).

Tyler Perry is a genius, and while I don’t usually like his Madea brand of comedy, plenty of people do, which is why he keeps churning them out (to the tune of 500 MILLION DOLLARS). Perry claims that his next Madea film, due out in 2019, will also be his (and her) last, after 15 years of films, a real end of an era. I suppose now’s the perfect time to binge some of the canon, and A Madea Christmas isn’t a bad place to start, especially if you’ve got an aversion to anything overtly romantic or princessy, or – puke alert – both. Maybe Perry’s just on point when the material’s about race, but Madea seemed funnier to me than she ever has before, and I gave up more than a few chuckles before the film was finished. Comedy is hard, and no joke appeals to everyone. I’m realizing that we tend to be much harder on comedies that don’t quite work than on dramas that don’t quite work, but the truth is, I’m grateful to funny people who make the effort. Of course they’re not all out-of-the-parkers, few can be, but a swing and a miss means they’re still in the majors and I’m in the stands, ready to laugh.