Allie is a codependent college student with not much going for her. She’s lazy, sloppy, and mean. She’s crass enough that we struggle to understand how she has any friends at all – and in fact, she does not appear to have many other than her bff Kort. Allie (Stephanie Simbari) and Kort (Allie Gallerani) live together in a share house full of girls who have an assortment of small to medium to large resentments against each other, but manage to drink cheap wine together on a regular basis anyway. You know, friendship in your 20s. It’s a mix of backstabbing and jealousy and holding each other’s hair while you puke. Good times.

Also: frat parties. Ugh. Is there anything worse? But it sorta kinda works out for Kort, whose adorkability is noticed by some cute guy and he asks her out. He asks her out! That may seem like pretty standard stuff to you (and certainly to I) but these millennials make it pretty clear to us old fogies watching that this is cultural insanity. Nobody asks anyone out anymore. Not on actual dates. Not out for dinner. Who does he think he is, a Kennedy?

So then typically, Kort gets busy with her new relationship and she neglects her friendship. And Allie acts out in frighteningly immature ways. While normally I would agree that it’s problematic that we tend to let friendships slide when we have a new relationship, in this case I was glad to see Kort get out of Allie’s evil clutches. I don’t understand how anyone would consent to sit on the same park bench as Allie, let alone be her actual friend. Allie has no idea what a friend actually is and has a LOT of growing before it’s even within her skill set. So in that way, I think the story is a little lost on us. I feel zero sympathy for passive aggressive Allie and her selfish ways. Allie is a tough character meant to straddle a line, but for me she pretty much pulverizes it, defeating the point.

One of the first things I liked about this movie was the convincingly shitty student housing. The shared house looks extremely lived in, bearing the marks of many previous tenants, and the ambivalent at best housekeeping of its current occupants. Turns out, that’s about all I liked about the movie. The girls seem to attend a good college but none of them have jobs yet they do have $90 to spend on yoga pants even though no one does any yoga. There’s a shopping montage worrisomely early on in the film where the two girls try on very few outfits (strung out in a very long montage) in a very posh looking boutique, and then freak out about the price. Um, yeah, no kidding. You two belong in a Forever 21 at best. As if you didn’t go to the mall.

Lady-Like is a bit of an archaeological dig among the millennial way of life, but it’s not particularly enlightening or entertaining. It just sort of is.