Annoying As Fuck

Some people just rub you the wrong way.

1. Anna Kendrannakenteethick – You already know I can be a little mean about Anna Kendrick. I can’t seem to look past her terrible horse teeth. Like, I would lay my hand very, very flat when feeding her a sugar cube. And I’m pretty sure she paid for them! I haven’t found her good or even watchable in anything. I keep giving her chances and she keeps being so goddamned Anna Kendricky in everything, chattering away at top speed as if we’ll mistake hyperactivity for charm, following around her ginormous chompers like they’re the ones taking the direction. And maybe they are. Maybe she’s just a parasite attached to giant, sentient teeth. To be fair, that’s probably not the case, but you have to admit it’s a possibility.

2. Anne Hathaway – Anne Hathaway may be the Big-Toothed Dentition Dictator who recruited

"Woo. This is happening. Thank you very much for this lovely blunt object that I will forevermore use as a weapon against self doubt"

“Woo. This is happening. Thank you very much for this lovely blunt object that I will forevermore use as a weapon against self doubt”

Anna Kendrick into the army of sentient horse teeth. I know it’s not their fault that they can’t fit their teeth in their mouths, but it is their fault that they keep pointing their gaping pieholes at us and flapping their gums in self-important ways. Anne Hathaway is insufferable. Hathaway’s so in love with her own performance in Les Miserables she actually described the filming as “I felt like I sprouted a pair of wings and lifted off of the ground.” So, you know, super humble.

 

3. Judy Greer – She’s awful and screechy and though she helpfully has remained not quite a Judy-Greerleading lady, she does pop in everything. Every word she’s ever spoken has come out in a hissy whine and her face is as pinched and puckered as I imagine her asshole must be. I see from the trailers that she’s appearing briefly in the new Jurassic Park movie, and I can only hope that though she appears to get left out of the action, that somehow she manages to have her face ripped off by dinosaur who saw 27 Dresses and is still bitter about it.

4. Jennifer Lawrence – I know this one will likely get me in trouble. She’s kind of the ‘it’ girl right now but her “look-at-me, aren’t I an adorable goofball” antics just don’t seem genuine. I’m pretty sure she’s faked several of her on-camera falls. She’s saying all the right things, body-positive, girl power crap that’s meant to make her sound relatable even when she’s draped in jlawfinger2Dior. But these sound bites have a habit of sounding very, very manufactured to me. Like her assistant is feeding her lines hand-crafted by a very clever and highly-paid publicist – just not clever enough to get by me. Every story she shares with media outlets sound perfectly designed to make her sound down to earth, while also humble-bragging about how many celebrities she knows and how cool she is. I’ve never liked her in anything, although to be fair, I’ve plain old not liked her movies, period. Hated American Hustle. Didn’t care for Silver Linings Playbook. Nobody on the planet liked Serena. And Hunger Games is meant for children, so it’s fine that I don’t like them, but if I ever hear that song of hers from her more recent HG movie on the radio again, Imma lose my shit (although come to think of it, do I hate it more or less than I hate Anna Kendricks’ Cups?). The very fact that Chris Martin seems to have replaced Gwyneth Paltrow with Jennifer Lawrence should probably tell us all we need to know. The dude tinkles around on the piano quite nicely, but he loves a self-congratulating, self-righteous dumb blonde who doesn’t have an authentic bone in her body.

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41 thoughts on “Annoying As Fuck

    1. Jay Post author

      I actually really really was going to include her, and specifically her lip-bite. Because biting your lip does not replace acting! It doesn’t. You have hollow eyes, woman! You cannot emote! Are you made of wood? Stop biting your goddamned lip at me! Biting your lip is not an emotion!

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  1. Sarca

    Careful with the horseteeth comments! I happen to be one of these women with a mouth full of teeth and no room to put any of them. Got that trait from my papa. Nay! I could use some oats about now. 😉

    Now, name some men that irritate you. Go.

    I’ll start: Johnny Depp for his affiliation with Tim Burton. Enough already.
    Vin Diesel. He named himself after gas. LOL
    Seth Rogan. Oversaturated.
    James Franco. See above. And I don’t think he’s that good an actor.
    🙂

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    1. Jay Post author

      Also, now I’m super intrigued by your horse teeth! I mean, not to disbelieve you, but I sort of bet you wouldn’t meet my standards for horse teeth. I don’t usually respond negatively to natural bites, but I do hate seeing all these HOllywood types who have covered over their regular-person teeth with NEW AND IMPROVED! teeth that don’t quite fit. At all. And they’re all the same! I think if you look closely at both of their sets, you’d see some dentist to the star’s tiny signature on one of the eye teeth.

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  2. fragglerocking

    never seen the 1st 3 ladies in a movie and probably never will, Miss Lawrence though, I think she does a really good job at being bright blue with ginger hair, not many people can pull that look off. 🙂

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  3. Indah Susanti

    Hahaha, what a list! I share your thought on Anne Hathaway, but still think she is fine if being compared to Kristen Stewart…
    For male actors, I have irrational dislike to watch any movies with Brad Pitt on it…

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    1. Jay Post author

      I’ll watch movies with Brad Pitt but I do NOT find him remotely handsome.
      And I think it’s funny we have to compare anyone to Kristen Stewart to make them palatable.
      I’m going to walk around telline people that compared to Kristen Stewart, I’m a cup of tea!

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    1. Jay Post author

      I agree with you on both counts. Nicole Kidman often does this weird whispery thing. I definitely avoid her whenever possible. And yes, Russell Crowe I just don’t get.

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  4. Jay Post author

    I think Emma Stone is trying to break onto this list. She’s definitely been inching her way here for a while. I started out liking her, but I think I also started out liking Keira Knightly and Scarlett Johanson and now they’re both on my shit list and I think they’re just different versions of the same robot.

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  5. Henry Chamberlain

    Fun list! Anne Hathaway has made a career out of being annoying, for sure. She knows people hate her and she keeps trying to prove her worthiness. I think she succeeds with Interstellar. She plays a problematic person who dogged pursues her goal and it works!

    As for Judy Greer, she doesn’t register one way or another. If I see her, I guess I zone her out or accept her as annoying but capable.

    Now with J-Law, you’re losing ground here. She really is nuts! And I think she makes that work on screen.

    And I leave the best for last. I love Anna Kendrick!! She works for me. I think she’s very cute and talented.

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  6. Brittani

    lol. Well, I have to disagree on the horse teeth thing, because I don’t see that at all. For Anna or for Anne. They just have nice, straight white teeth to me.

    Anne and Jennifer rub me the wrong way in their interviews. They’re both talented actresses, but they came off terrible during awards season. Anne took herself way too seriously and Jennifer plays up the “dorky girl” thing way too much. I’m pretty sure Jennifer faked that 2nd fall too.

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  7. ruth

    Ahah, well I’m not a fan of any of these gals but ouch! I hear ya about Anne and Jen Lawrence though, they seem to get too caught up in their own celebrity. Lots of American actors are this way, that’s why I always go for Euro/Aussie actors as they seem to be more about their craft. Btw, for the life of me I can’t figure out why Anna Kendrick was chosen as Cinderella, she’s as far away from who I’d picture as the Disney princess.

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    1. Jay Post author

      Good point, and she did feel off to me, but that whole movie felt off, and for once I couldn’t even blame just her!

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  8. Wendell

    Wow. That was brutal! Not particularly a fan of Kendrick, I find her bland, but I don’t hate her. Don’t really care one way or the other about Greer. I do think Hathaway and Lawrence are talented actresses. I would say I’m a fan of both. Then again, I don’t pay attention to anything they do off-screen. Glad you got a chance to get that out of your system, though. Lol.

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  9. joelnox

    Love the post. I’m mystified by Anna Kendrick, her looks don’t bother me but her lack of any discernible talent does. I’ve seen her in several things and forgotten her as soon as the credits roll if not before.

    Hathaway I liked initially, I thought she was quite fine in her small role in Brokeback Mountain, but I saw NOTHING special in her performance in Les Miz and am still pissed she has the Oscar that rightfully belonged to Sally Field’s tremendous Mary Lincoln. Then too her personal unctuousness goes beyond the pale, her humbleness is so transparently fake.

    I don’t really have a problem with Judy Greer, perhaps as a leading lady she’d be too much to take but as a supporting player she’s in, she’s out before she grates. And I’m neutral on Jennifer Lawrence, I thought she was great in Winter’s Bone but everything since then has failed to make much of an impression on me. I haven’t seen much of her off screen, I’ve avoided anything Hunger Games related-the whole children hunting children aspect is too vile for me- and that’s been a lot of where her interviews have been.

    My irritant list would be:
    Juliette Lewis-How did this woman ever get any work? I see her and my teeth instantly go on edge even before she speaks.

    Gwyneth Paltrow-Too noxious and entitled for words, and a weak actress. A shame because I love her mother Blythe Danner so much.

    Nicole Kidman-Even when she didn’t look like a wax museum figure come to life I didn’t understand her appeal or see much of an acting gift. She was okay in The Others but the cold frosty character seemed not much of a stretch for her.

    Renee Zellweger-Ugh! Annoying voice and everything else, even going away and coming back with Naomi Watts’s face hasn’t helped.

    There are others but those four I just can’t bear.

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    1. Jay Post author

      Rereading your list of irritants, I am nodding along to all of them.
      There are so many talented women out there I can’t understand how so many of these plastic creatures keep taking their roles.

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