Filed Under M

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. – Guy Ritchie wanted to make a spy movie that was “sexy, fun, and the-man-from-uncle-alicia-vikander-armie-hammer-henry-cavillfrivolous”, harkening back to the Roger Moore era of James Bond. He got the frivolous part right. This movie doesn’t mean much. It’s got some very charismatic stars, none of whom are served well by the material, and none of whom can pull off an accent as well as they think they can (Alicia Vikander sounds Irish more than German). It tends toward flippant rather than funny. It is very stylish (and stylized), I’ll give it that, but that’s a lot of money to put on a retro fashion show. However, if you’re one of those people who love a vacuous spy movie with no action or suspense, then boy has your time come.

Max – We never would have seen this movie on purpose but it was the second movie in a double-bill at the drive-in, so that explains why we were there, though not why we stayed. We stayed mostly for the people-watching, as it turned out, since the couple in the car beside us were topless, the better for him to expunge the blackheads from her back, while their interior lights are on, for all the world to see. It really made me reflect on how I might multi-task while at the drive-in. Suggestions? My only suggestion to you is to skip this movie. Lauren Graham and Thomas max-coverHaden Church play a good old flag-waving, down home American couple who make the ultimate sacrifice for their country. Their eldest son dies in Iraq, and his service dog gets decommissioned from the army (sorry, marines) and comes to stay with them, to be loved and trained (and healed!) by the angry younger son. The army honours its strong tradition of turning its back on veterans with PTSD, even when that vet is a dog who just wants to serve his country and retire in peace and kibble. Convoluted plot devices ensue to really bring this family together in their grief, with heavy doses of patriotic piety that I found hard to swallow. Makes you proud to be Murican I guess. A country song plays over a memorial to dead wartime dogs at the end.

mortdecai_612x380_0Mortdecai – I think this movie was a bet. I think someone just decided to see how much weird they could cram into a movie, as long as that weird was uninteresting and unremarkable. I was embarrassed for the simpering Johnny Depp, and for his mustache.

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24 thoughts on “Filed Under M

  1. fragglerocking

    Was hoping Man from Uncle would be good as I loved the series as a kid, I was quite enamoured of Illya Kuriyakin I seem to remember. Oh well, I don’t want my memories sullied so that’s now going on the ‘miss’ list, along with the other 2 you mention. 🙂

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  2. In My Cluttered Attic

    Disappointing, but I was expecting The Man from Uncle to be unremarkable. I confess I liked the commercials (suspecting that they may have held back more of the movie), but was apprehensive on the possibility of the film being a hit, seeing as it was set to be released in August. Late summer blockbusters seldom happen. Too bad. I hope Guy Richie would now at least consider getting a third Sherlock Holmes movie started.

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  3. kmSalvatore

    I feel for Ya Jay, the man of uncle was a good tv sit come, I’d never see that at the show, no matter how it was dressed up. Never saw the other 2, and now I won’t for sure;))))

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    1. Jay Post author

      I’ve never seen the show and didn’t really know what to expect. I was surprised that they decided to do it at all. And I spend a lot of the movie wondering who exactly “the man” from uncle was.

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      1. kmSalvatore

        lol, Jay.. you crack me up. every one has different tastes, and when that was a tv show.. i only watched it because we had 3 channels :)))) probably for the same reason you stated, i never could figure out why it was called that:)))

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  4. In My Cluttered Attic

    Oddly enough I found Mordecai so strange that I actually laughed a couple of times. The fact Johnny Depp did the film did not surprise me as much as it did others. He gravitates to the absurd anyway. And I have no interest at all in the other film. I wonder if box office is taking a hit due to copycat theater shooters now? Going to the theater these days, I here people muttering about lax security. Some say they just don’t feel comfortable anymore going to the theater. I notice no security outside walking around the theater, and what little security I see seems to be paying little if any attention. Doesn’t exude a sense of confidence in the theater goer either when you hear theater owners saying the public doesn’t want security. That’s not what I hear the public saying. People tell me that after the shooting in Tennessee, enough is enough. Going to the movies is not the experience it used to be anyway, and they are also saying they really don’t feel comfortable going now as it is, and that’s a shame. Theater owners are paying attention, but ignoring the cost because they simply don’t want to pay for it, can’t afford it, or are willing to risk the chance that won’t happen to them. Either way, they only need look at what Disney is now doing at their theme parks at the entrance to ensure that the public goes in feeling safe. Yes it can be a pain, but once inside they are worry free. Movie theaters can’t afford to ignore the movie going public’s pleas for more security. They are losing enough at the box office already, and multiplexes have lost what little charm they had in the first place. I only say this, because I know a lot of people who have stopped going already (bad movies like those you mentioned above) only add to the dismay of the customer. I myself love going out on a Friday or Saturday night (especially to a film that deserves to be seen on the big screen), but even my youngest boy recently said he could do without it (as even he has reservations about safety), and is willing to wait for the movie to come to Netflix. To me, that’s a bad sign

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    1. Jay Post author

      That is a bad sad, and very sad. I think not just movie theatres but movie studios will need to start thinking about these things if people stop going. But you’re right, they’re already not that comfortable, if you give people another excuse not to go, they really won’t.

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  5. elisa ruland

    So. I feel safe sharing this since the above commenter didn’t groan at the mention of Mortdecai. I was bored one afternoon and watched this movie on a ginormous screen in a theater with comfy recliner seating. I was the only person in the room (no surprise) but I was oddly entertained. Don’t think less of me….hoping Depp can redeem himself in Black Mass, although he’ll still be hard to look at in this role, too. 🙂

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    1. Jay Post author

      OH I don’t think less of you at all. We all watch less than awesome movies when we’re bored, and we’re always more generous with movies we had low expectations of, I think. Glad this one served you well at the time.

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  6. Paul S

    Oh I always enjoy a good rip ’em to pieces review. Great stuff. The trailer for “Mortdecai” almost fooled me into thinking it might be worth watching. Maybe in five years at 4AM while I’m under the influence.

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  7. reocochran

    I like Johnny Depp and will get this st the library. I am sad since my cousin who is a librarian and ger husbans in Vegas public schools wrote me to see “Man from UNCLE” and I was hoping to see it. 😦 For fun I am going somehow, over a very tight scheduled weekend, to see Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline and Rick Springfield in their new movie. So far, you have not mentioned it, although I am reading many posts tonight. Sleep deprived, too. I am nit usually a whiner. Smiles, Robin

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  8. fernandorafael

    Despite the miexed reviews, I’m still pretty much looking forward to Man from U.N.C.L.E.. It looks ike a lot of fun. Max sounds awful, but Mortdecai (and the additional show at the drive-in) seem much, much worse.

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  9. Pingback: A Christmas Star | ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES

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