Kate, the obligatory holiday movie workaholic, is sent by her law firm for the unenviable task of having an estate appraised and sold. Although I know a whole law firm full of lawyers, I don’t know a single one of them who would move into an inn for two weeks in order to play real estate agent. That would be a crazy amount of billable hours, but who would pay for such a thing? Is this screen writer not sure what lawyers do? Or how the world works?
Anyway, Kate’s got it rough because the inn is haunted by Daniel, a ghost who returns to life every Christmas and seems to have made it his business to scare away guests and lawyers alike. And we’ve got it rough, because the same lazy screenwriter who refuses to google ‘what do lawyers do’ has a very shoddy ear for dialogue. The ghost Daniel tries to sell us his spectral timeline by talking old-timey, only it’s not very convincing or accurate or good. Nor is his three piece suit, or his hair cut, or his ‘spectacles’. The overall effect is that of hipster rather than century-old ghost.
Daniel was a rum runner (his preferred terminology for bootlegger), and he inherited the inn along with his brother. The brothers competed for the same girl, so you know shit went down. Things were said. So the inn has a spotty history, and so does our ghost boy, Daniel. Meanwhile, Kate’s about to learn that the only thing more awkward than being haunted by a ghost is falling in love with one. Nothing makes a woman in her 30s feel quite as pathetic as falling for a dead man. Has it really come to this?
I really felt dirty watching this movie, and not in the antique patina way that this film needs but lacks. More like sticky cobwebs on my soul, shaming me for having spent any amount of time on a film not even worthy of the space it takes up in the world. Necrophilia is when people have sex with dead bodies – is there a specific word for when the dead person is more of a ghost than a corpse? Is that more or less creepy? Who would like this movie? I don’t know – someone desperate to meld ghost stories and Christmas but doesn’t have taste or discernment?