Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice

batman-v-superman-reviewsJust when you thought the title of this movie was as pretentious as it could get, Zack Snyder delivers a pre-movie PSA on spoilers. I was offended. What else is the internet for aside from spoilers and porn? And since Snyder and crew spoiled some key parts about this movie in the title (namely the Batman VERSUS Superman part) and trailers (revealing the big bad guy), it was doubly ridiculous to waste time on a PSA that I could have spent watching a post-credits scene (SPOILER ALERT: THERE ISN’T ONE).

There’s really not much to spoil anyway. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice is exactly what you’d expect. The script is so cookie cutter and routine that the writers could skip exposition or backstory whenever convenient (and they take full advantage). But don’t worry, Batman fans! SPOILER ALERT: you will get to see Thomas and Martha Wayne get gunned down outside a movie theatre. Because we haven’t seen that often enough…

batman-v-supermanAt least we don’t rehash Superman’s origin (thank Krypton). But (SPOILER ALERT) we don’t get any hint of Lex Luthor’s origin or his motivations, other than (SPOILER ALERT) he’s evil and crazy and rich and smart and an orphan. It’s the same way with Wonder Woman – the no-origin part, not the evil crazy rich smart orphan part (as far as I know). That left me to guess as to why Lex hated everyone to the point he was willing to cause the destruction of Metropolis and Gotham (which, SPOILER ALERT, are right next to each other in a very lazy move by the writers), and why a literal greek goddess (I’m assuming) is conveniently hanging out in these twin cities waiting for an opportunity to (SPOILER ALERT) don her metal bathing suit.

One final SPOILER ALERT: despite all its issues, Batman v. Superman is actually fun in its brainless way. Batman’s costumes look great, the much-anticipated fight between the two titular characters is awesome, and the stakes are suitably high by the final battle that Wonder Woman’s participation feels like a necessary deus ex machina (and seeing all three on screen together was worth the price of admission).

batman-v-superman-trinitySo if nothing else, Batman v. Superman accomplishes its objective. It made me want to see the Justice League movie. A lot. And despite my griping, Batman v. Superman is not nearly as bad a film as many critics would have you believe. I mean, it’s your typical trashy comic book movie but it delivers exactly what it promised. Judge it as art if you want, and on that scale it fails, but so does every Marvel movie! Genre fatigue is the only reason I can think of to explain the backlash, and to that I say: if you are tired of superhero movies, you will not enjoy this film. But you also won’t enjoy any “critically acclaimed” superhero movies past, present or future. And if you are still up for more, well, see this one, and then start saving your money for May’s double feature of Captain America: Civil War and X-Men: Apocalypse. Both of which will probably be much better reviewed EVEN THOUGH THEY WILL BE THE SAME EXACT MOVIE AS BATMAN V. SUPERMAN. Critical scores are so meaningless.

And on that note, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice gets a score of seven holy trinities out of ten.

 

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36 thoughts on “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice

    1. Sean Post author

      She definitely is an Amazon as well, or has been in some origin stories. DC keeps revising them so it’s hard to keep track, but I think the current version is that Zeus is her father.

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  1. Carrie Rubin

    I’ll probably see this movie this weekend. But I think I hear My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 calling my name as well. And I don’t usually even like those kind of movies. But there’s just something about it I can’t resist.

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  2. Jay

    I thought Diana’s wardrobe, bathing suit notwithstanding, was really neat. All her dresses had some element that hinted at her being Wonder Woman – beautiful, strong metallic elements. Loved it.

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    1. Sean Post author

      I agree! All the characters’ costumes looked great but Diana definitely stands out because she always looked like Wonder Woman even before getting into costume.

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    1. Sean Post author

      Yes that’s a good point, it just seems backwards to do it that way. Especially because on paper DC’s big three are all more capable of carrying a solo movie than most of Marvel’s heroes. And Marvel made it work really well.

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      1. fragglerocking

        I can’t choose between DC & Marvel, I love them all. Just finished re watching the 1st Captain America and 2nd is lined up for next movie night in prep for the new release. Also really looking forward to BvS and the DC world. Recently found out there’s a TV series re Peggy Carter but can’t find it on my channels ๐Ÿ˜• OK shutting up now, just realised my superhero geekiness is on overdrive ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

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      1. Sean Post author

        I really liked Affleck as Batman. Gal Godot was amazing as Wonder Woman. Henry Cavill was shitty but I think that’s more a criticism of this mopey god version of Superman than the actor himself – I don’t think I would have liked anyone in the part.

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  3. Matt

    This movie was every bit the mess I had read about. It was all over the place and couldn’t be bothered with any kind of logic at all, even comic book logic. Despite being objectively bad, even frustrating at times, it was kind of awesome. They had the right Superman, the right Batman (I can’t believe I’m actually saying this about Ben Affleck), and the right Wonder Woman. I was even captivated by Jesse Eissenberg’s Lex Luther. He overplays it for sure but there seems to be some method to his madness. These characters, this cast, and these costumes deserved a better movie but I left feeling exhilarated and wanting to watch it again.

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    1. Sean Post author

      Sounds like we had a similar take on this one. Though I absolutely hated Superman and it shouldn’t have been that way. The Christopher Reeves’ take is so much better – very 80s and very corny but Superman is supposed to be a big cheeseball!

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  4. karengadient

    We saw the line for this thing last night, complete with folks dressed up for the occasion, face paint and all. But we skipped it and finally saw Deadpool, which was more enjoyable than expected. Not sure if we’ll rush to see Batman/Superman (although I was a huge fan of Wonder Woman when I was a kid), but we’ll at least catch it after the crowds die down.

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    1. Sean Post author

      I think you made the right choice! Deadpool’s better but BvS isn’t bad. Very different movies though, as there aren’t really any laughs in BvS. It’s super duper serious.

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  5. J.

    I really didn’t like Man Of Steal, but I’m really looking forward to seeing this despite thinking it looks fairly dreadful. Go figure.

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    1. Sean Post author

      I didn’t see Man of Steel and have no desire to, so I think I can relate. And I think you’re on the right page. I was a little unsure of what to expect but it’s a decent movie, it’s nowhere near the disaster it’s being portrayed as.

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  6. Jay

    I liked the casting of Wonder Woman. I liked her accent though I wasn’t exactly sure what she was doing, just glad she’s not American I guess.

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    1. Sean Post author

      I think she was the closest of the three to the comic book character. And the one I’d be most interested in seeing in her own movie (which I guess isn’t a huge surprise since she’s the only one of the three who hasn’t had 5+ solo movies already).

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  7. Brittani

    I hope to have fun with this. I’m not sure if I can get off my Nolan Batman high horse though. lol. I admit it. I’m bummed to hear Eisenberg isn’t very good in this. That’s the most disappointing thing.

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  8. A.B Mood

    Wow after all that bashing I thought you were gonna give it a 4 or something ๐Ÿ˜› Glad to hear about the 7 coz I’m going tomorrow to watch it. Well the stupid ass trailer spoiled the whole “plot” but still I’m mucho excited to see Ben as Batman ^_^ *fingers crosseddd*

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  9. Anna (Film Grimoire)

    A most excellent write-up. What kind of idiot puts a spoiler warning on before a film? The absolute nerve of Snyder to think that would prevent anyone from blabbing. I think it would probably make me want to blab spoilers about even more.

    Anyway, I haven’t yet seen this so have been watching all the critique from afar. I think you raise such a valid point that a lot of the superhero films lately are pretty much the same formula and hence to write this one off for being super shitty is a little bit short-sighted! Especially given all the premature hype about the new X-Men film which will probably be the exact same film. I will see this for Wonder Woman though because she is a badass female and I like her a lot.

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  10. Jordan Dodd

    I’m not sure I can bring myself to pay for this! I’m interested enough because I really like Jesse Eisenberg. The rest I assume is pretty similar to its cousins. I have read that this is a darker film that Marvel’s PG-13 crap

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  11. Ally B. Jones

    I just thought it was super interesting that the critics hated it so much. It could be that it was the budget but it was really strange. Fantastic 4 was a horribly reviewed movie and I doubt it got on that level…few things can get on that level.

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  12. Divorce With Me

    I couldn’t really enjoy this movie. And I was kinda excited about it because of Wonder Woman. Just thought it was too long and over the top and boring. Best part was seeing Wonder Woman and I thought Jesse Eisenberg did a good job.

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  13. Pingback: Captain America: Civil War | ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES

  14. Pingback: Suicide Squad | ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES

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