Short film: Heir

You all know I’m a chicken. Big, big-time chicken. I don’t do scary movies. I don’t do ’em. I have a preference for my urine to be either in my bladder or in a toilet, not spreading down the leg of my pants.

I made an exception for this film, however, because I thought: 14 minutes. I can survive anything for 14 minutes. I can even manage my bodily functions for 14 minutes! But about 7 minutes in, I wasn’t quite as confident.  Not that the scariness starts at minute 7. It starts from minute 1, in that creepy-crawly, suspenseful, bad feelings running down my spine sort of way. But I held on, guys. Me and my Fresca, we held on.

And you know what I encountered? I’m not sure if I should say. I don’t want to ruin the ending. Although I do want to warn the 99% of you who will find this BEYOND FUCKING DARK. So let’s play charades. The kind of charades where you can’t see me. But if you must picture me: my hair is perfectly coiffed and H2not at all a week overdue for a haircut, and my chubby little knees are definitely demurely covered by my yellow floral dress and not exposed because my dress is somehow bunched up around my hips AGAIN. Now I also need you to picture The Worst Thing Ever. Not the worst thing in a horror movie. It’s not chainsaws for hands or a chain-letter that kills your  favourite aunt. It’s the Worst Thing Ever. The kind of thing that, when you go to prison for it, all the other prisoners think you’re a disgusting lowlife. Stealing your Grandma’s welfare cheques? Understandable. Dismembering your wife? The dirty whore deserved it. But this? This is bad. So now imagine that this Thing turns you into a monster. Literally. Like, not just morally a monster, but actually a monster.

Yeah, it’s a little “taboo.” Unsettling? Oh, maybe a bit. Crawling with jarring, sickening imagery that will scar  your brain and refuse to leave it? Um, check. But it’s well-done, the practical effects are on-point, the make-up is top notch, the score is chilling, the cast is extremely well-chosen. I can’t criticize any part of this movie making. But man: its contents really zapped me. It’s gruesome, it’s shocking, and it makes you feel like a dirty, dirty voyeur.

 

 

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23 thoughts on “Short film: Heir

  1. kmSalvatore

    ok.. i WILL NOT under any circumstance be going to see this. umm thank Jay, after chuckling along as i was reading this.. you made up my mind in the first paragraph 🙂 no way!!! not my cup of tea at all. but you sure kno how to write.. im still giggling 🙂 thanks for the early morning giggle

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  2. Birgit

    I have no desire to see this because all that came into my head was Paul Bernardo and that bitch of his ex wife who is now living in Quebec

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  3. John Charet

    Great post 🙂 Speaking of that last word voyeur can’t help but incite me to mention one of the most vastly underrated filmmakers who tackles the theme and that guy is Brian De Palma. I have a blog post on him on my site so If you are interested in his films you can search it there, but I am sure you know who I am talking about 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

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  4. Christopher

    Sometimes I can do horror movies. Some horror movies I even really enjoy. Others…well, I got almost twenty minutes into The Texas Chainsaw Massacre before I decided I couldn’t go on. And this was well before anything happened, but the title is a pretty big spoiler alert and the DVD menu had already freaked me out.
    There’s a part of me that still wants to see it and a part that really doesn’t want to see it.
    Your review has left me with the same feeling–but leaning toward really wanting to see it.

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  5. Richard

    Thanks so much for the review of HEIR, the whole team really appreciates it! As soon as we make the film available either online or through Blu ray we will let you and your readers know. Thanks again!

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  6. Robert Nolan

    Great to see your honest review of HEIR. I believe these are feelings one gets when horror slices close to the bone. So is it just sound and fury up on that screen – or is there some magic interface that takes place in a dark theatre when horror truly hits home? (and yes, I’m sleeping with the lightweight on tonight).

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