It’s possible that if Keanu doesn’t play a lawyer at least once per decade he’ll die. That’s the only reason I can think of to explain his casting as a lawyer ever, because he’s barely credible as the sandwich guy who delivers lunch to law firms.
In The Whole Truth, Keanu does indeed play a lawyer who is defending the son of a former colleague and longtime friend. The son is accused of killing his father, that very same former colleague and longtime friend. I’m sure Keanu would like to believe that his client is innocent, but his client isn’t talking. And his client’s mother (Renee Zellweger) is mostly weeping, and begging Keanu to save her son’s life.
Gugu Mbatha-Raw, who is above this material, plays a lawyer assigned to help Keanu, and be less of a dick in the courtroom than he is, which is a role that could have been fulfilled by Andy Dick or Jeremy Piven or goddamned Jim Belushi, who was actually busy playing the murder victim, but you catch my drift. It wasn’t a high bar.
Anyway. It’s derivative. It’s one of those “unravel the plot” movies probably based on a mystery novel only sold in drug stores. When “the whole truth” is finally revealed, you probably won’t be around to hear it, having already changed the channel, and you certainly won’t give a shit. The ending isn’t earned, it doesn’t pack a punch, it’s just a fart in the wind (is that a saying?).
I’m dubious, Keanu.
ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES 
Or perhaps a fart directed at a candle in the wind? 🙂
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About Keanu playing a lawyer in every decade, it’s definitely a clause in his contract. So is playing someone who knows kungfu. 😉 The Devil’s Advocate is pretty good though!
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I love your review Jay, but the opening especially cracked me up! I’ve never gotten the appeal of Keanu myself.
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I’m going to assume that Keanu made a deal with the devil. In return for fame, he must play a lawyer every decade or so. If not, dire circumstances will occur…
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I like Keanu for some reason, however, I also think he’s one of the worst actors around. His emotions in his acting run the gamut from A to B, kind of like Tia Leoni.
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I love him. He’ll always be Ted “Theodore” Logan to me.
In fact, I bet this would have been a whole lot better if Alex Winter turned up and it was called Bill & Ted’s Excellent Truth. Amaright?
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We just watched Point Break. It was my husband’s first time seeing this one and he laughed at Keanu’s acting the whole time. I love me some Keanu. I don’t care that he can’t deliver a line effectively.
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Jay,
I’ll probably skip movies like this 90% of the time. I might check something like this out though because Keanu is the anti-stereotype, if that makes sense. He can do earnest in the sweetest way, but there’s alway a side of “I don’t give a fuck” somehow tucked in his back pocket. At certain (typical) angles Keanu is a bad actor, but I see him more as a study in contrasts…there are layers to the guy, he just doesn’t let you see them. I wonder how he would direct?
RR
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I guess that means we should never call K’s law firm then, eh? LOL
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I love your review Jay.The flippant ‘who is above this material’ line is my favourite this time round 😀 I just love Keanu too much to not see this though 🙂
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Jesus, Jay! That was the funniest review ever. Your observations make me want to see this film to revel in how truly horrible it is.
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Fricking Keanu 😒 Worst actor. Maybe a hair better than JLo. Maybe.
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Brutal review…..but as always, the asshole is correct!
Amazing and entertaining reviews….thx y’all!!
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