Adrift

Tami (Shailene Woodley) is a grass-smoking, pukka-shell-wearing rootless wanderer, working odd jobs from one port to the next just to avoid going home. In some marina she meets Richard (Sam Claflin), and he cooks her a vegetarian “version” of fish, which turns out to be salad, fyi.

I don’t care for Sam Claflin, and he’s not gaining any ground with his lackluster performance here. I felt rather neutrally about Shailene Woodley before today, and I can MV5BYWI2NzA3YTgtZjZjMS00MmM3LThkY2QtYmQ3Nzg2YmIwZmY0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNDE5MTU2MDE@._V1_tell you with certainty she’s dipped into the negatives with this film, in which she over-relies on a screechy giggle she mistakes for endearing, even while narrating a letter she’s handwriting to her mother, which apparently was peppered with LOLs even though the movie takes place in 1983, and I doubt LOLs existed then. They just had to let mothers find something funny, or not, on their own back then. It was the dark ages.

I’m biased. I hate making heroes out of stupid white people who take needless risks and do dumb shit and then expect us to drop everything to rescue them when they inevitably get into trouble. We cannot manage to feed and house all the children in our society, but we’ll spend a million dollars to rescue a couple of people nature was trying to survival-of-the-fittest on the top of a mountain, or in this case, out to sea. I don’t have a lot of sympathy for these two, and was frequently and quickly so bored-slash-agitated with this movie, I wished them dead.

I don’t know if this movie is based on a true story, and if it is, I suppose I don’t actually wish them dead. Probably. I mean, on the one hand, it must be a true story, because how else did they name her Tami? I mean, Tammy is bad enough, but Tami? But on the other hand, who would pay for such a generic story? I mean, it doesn’t take a genius to be like, lost at sea bad, not enough food, etc. It does, however, take a special brand of moron to be starving but still refuse to hurt innocent fish by killing them for food.  I mean, after a few hungry days, some people will eat their own mothers, but she clings to her vegetarianism like she hopes to die a self-righteous twat. Meanwhile, Richard loafs about with a gruesome injury, doing an annoying self-pitying routine that gets so annoying you’ll want to throw him overboard yourself.

 

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24 thoughts on “Adrift

  1. Arlene

    Her mother probably thought she was crazy or writing in tongues with all that LOLing about. I hate when a movie uses current trends in a movie set in the past even if it is not that distant. I mean in 1983 they were barely getting away from Key punch cards to input a program into a computer the size of a mid-sized car.

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  2. The Inner Circle

    It was indeed a true story and the young lady sailed herself 1,500 miles to safety.
    Bummed that you didn’t like it,I rather like Sam but Woodley is “meh” for me as well.
    You definitely can get salty when a not liking a film and I find myself laughing while reading these kind of reviews.

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  3. joel watches movies

    I know it’s painful for you, Jay, but considering some of the other comments already here, as well as my own feelings on the matter, I think it’s safe to say we all gain when you watch a bad movie, cuz your reviews are extra delightful.

    On a side note (well, not really, it’s about the movie), it saddens me to hear about Woodley.. I first saw her in The Spectacular Now and she was positively briliant in that one. Doesn’t seem like she’s done a project even close to that quality since. 😦

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    1. Jay Post author

      Ha, funny you mention that. I just had to look up what it was called, but yes, I liked that one a lot too. Maybe that was mostly Teller though? Too bad he backed out of this one. I wonder if he would have made it tolerable?

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  4. msjadeli

    I’ve been sick of Shailene Woodley through 2 of the 3 –ent movies and couldn’t bring myself to see the -ant movie, not to mention, “The Fault…..”. There are too many generic actresses out there that look and act like her, but she is particularly obnoxious. Great and hilarious review. Let’s toss them both overboard and be done with it.

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    1. Jay Post author

      Right?
      I guess she really has done mostly teenagery stuff that doesn’t appeal to me.
      I think I did like The Spectacular Now a little more than most, but that maybe has more to do with Miles Teller, who was also supposed to be in this until he wisely backed out.

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  5. curious•pondering

    Nice post, Jay! I have seen this movie’s story too often to be interested in it… seems that I have not missed much.

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  6. Paul. Writer and Filmmaker

    Haven’t seen this yet but I think Sam Claflin is a very solid actor as shown in Their Finest and My Cousin Rachel. But I agree with your points about the privileged either trying to find themselves or seeking adrenaline from ever dangerous or selfish first-world pursuits. Well said!! What is galling is when they, like Touching the Void or 127 Hours, create their own potential demise, write a bestseller and are then hailed heroes for their own stupidity. No taking away from the quality of the films but I cannot connect with these characters.

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    1. Jay Post author

      I preferred The Mercy, which may be an even more egregious example of people doing dumb shit.

      In fact, I love Their Finest very much, so I’ll give you that. I suppose it’s Me Before You that’s given him a bad name in my books.

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