Poseidon

Although we’ve very much enjoyed the cruises we’ve taken (once, in the Caribbean, around the Bahamas, the other one around the Hawaiian islands), we were happy last night to be celebrating at a resort on land because when we got back to our room, Sean chose Poseidon for its New Year’s Eve setting but this movie might have made us think twice before getting on a boat.

The unsuspecting guests on that boat had just rung in the new year, with Fergie leading them in a countdown to midnight (the Shakira of the sea, we renamed her, since Shakira had played at our sister resort). But then a rogue wave hits, flipping the boat upside down. Of the 5000 or so passengers who must have been on board, most die instantly (and not on film). Mostly just the hundred or so survivors of the ballroom are given any airtime: Fergie of course, and the ship’s captain, Capt. Raymond Holt (Andre Braugher, again!), a degenerate gambler named Lucky Larry (Kevin Dillon, also again!), a suicidal man named Richard (Richard Dreyfuss), Robert, the former mayor of New York (Kurt Russell) and his daughter Jennifer (Emmy Rossum), newly and secretly engaged to Christian (Mike Vogel), a mother and young son, a stowaway, and of course the fearless leader Dylan (Josh Lucas), whose dimples will surely keep them afloat for hours. The ship’s captain is trying to keep everyone calm and contained within the airtight ballroom until help can arrive, but squirrely Dylan is not content to stay put. He leads a small handful of the survivors “up” (which in this case means travelling down into the ship’s bowels since it’s currently bobbing upside down in the ocean). They’re battling flash fires, rising waters, and of course gravity to get out in time.

Like most movies of its ilk, Poseidon (this is the 2006 remake of a 1972 classic) is big on the epic disaster set pieces and meager on story and character. It’s not going to make any logical sense, so leave that in life raft for later. You’re not going to know or really care about the people either. Remove your humanity, wrap it in a personal flotation device, and move on. The movie delivers a bloated sense of claustrophobia and a bad case of Murphy’s law, which impressively follows them right down to the bottom of the ocean. The camera dwells on the dead bodies as we swim by them so if you’re hoping for some campy fun, think again. There are corpses everywhere, and not all of them float. Not unlike this movie, which sinks under its own self-importance.

15 thoughts on “Poseidon

  1. Brittani

    I didn’t hate this movie when I saw it, but I don’t find it very memorable now either. For some reason the only thing I remember is Fergie’s red dress. lol

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  2. Birgit

    Oh God…I saw this and forgot about Fergie. This was a bad flick and I like Kurt Russell but this stunk. Give me Shelley Winters any day! Funny, In 1972 my mom took us to Austria and we stayed in some hotel in Vienna. My brother and I were playing and we were running down the twirly stairs and there was a decorative glass separating the main floor from the others and when i looked down, not only fear went through my head but i thought of a man crashing right through that glass. This i had to get from the trailers of the original Poseidon Adventure. This is Birgit by the way

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  3. Sarca

    Happy New Year! I just watched the old Poseidon Adventure a few weeks back – great film. This? Well, I might hate-watch it, but yeah. The old movie was great and why remake it? I just don’t get it. I suppose Hollywood has run out of ideas.

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  4. Tom

    Lol this movie was what the graduating high school class right behind mine got as their “Project Graduation” ceremony/breakfast event thing. Man, I thought Farragut hated the Class of ’05, but ’06 really got the shaft lol

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  5. mydangblog

    I still remember watching the original as a kid. If I remember correctly, the characterizations were pretty good, especially Shelly Winter’s character. I’d love to see that one again!

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  6. Willow Croft

    Ha, I’m a little sleepy, and I was like “I saw this!’ and then I was like “How? It’s kinda sorta new…” and then I realized I’d seen the old one. Man I hate mornings!

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