In the final days of WWII, the Nazis attempt some sort of magic to bolster their faltering cause, but instead they open up a portal through which Hellboy arrives and is adopted by an Allied scientist, Professor Broom. Hellboy (Ron Perlman) is raised in Broom’s lab, among other, erm, special…entities, such as firestarter Liz (Selma Blair) and the aquatic and telepathic Abe Sapien (Doug Jones, but voiced by David Hyde Pierce). So though Hellboy looks a lot like a demon with his horns (which he carefully files down) and his red skin and freaky arm, he’s actually been more of a force for good, deployed when only his special skills will do: welcome to the (secret) bureau for paranormal research and defense.
Of course, no one would make a movie about a guy just doing his part to make the world a safer place – not one called Hellboy, anyway. Those Nazi fucks are back, and their aim is to recruit Hellboy back to the dark side, where he belongs.
With master of horror Guillermo del Toro leading the way, the Hellboy movie is at its best when Hellboy is among the people he loves; it’s the quieter moments between the impressive action sequences that give this movie heft. Perlman is pretty damn magnetic as the spawn of satan, and delivers the kind of dry humour that no other comic book movie has come close to. It’s not a perfect movie but you can tell how del Toro has tried to smooth out some of the uneveness between Hellboy’s down time and his work. There’s more to him than you might guess and despite his monstrous looks, he’s got a good dose of humanity {this is a common theme of del Toro’s, I’ve noticed: the true monsters are never the ones who look the part}.
Clearly a fan of the source material, del Toro embraces some of Hellboy’s ridiculousness. He’s faithful to the wit and the charm and the misfittedness of the whole endeavour. And actually, who better than del Toro, who has made a career out of defining and applauding the outcasts, to pay homage to the movement’s red leader?
Hellboy is a lot of fun if you give yourself up to it. It already has a memorable character, and Perlman is nothing if not the perfect choice to play him. But Guillermo del Toro is also the perfect choice to colour in his surroundings. The production design set the standard for all comic book movies that came after. Del Toro knows that the details are where it’s at – it’s where old fans will find home, and new fans will be created.
A new Hellboy is in the works; not the third movie proposed by Del Toro and Perlman, but a complete reboot starring David Harbour instead, which has lots of fans rather upset. We’ll judge the new film on its own merits I suppose, but it feels like this one’s already going in the wrong direction.
reasons this movie fails is that it tries too hard. The script is just so stupidly earnest. It makes wonderful actresses say such flighty, cliched things. And everyone cries all the time, at the drop of a hat. It made me really wonder why the script writer has so many fucking hats, and why she’s always dropping them. Secure your hat to your head, lady.
want you to watch me abuse it! I’m going to write a trite little movie that wishes it was a pretentious little novel! Script writing 101 says I should put in a conflict here! [Insert conflict]. I wonder if Sharon Stone can do polysyllabics? Either way she’ll be impressed when I whip out this tired metaphor! And I’ll make it super relatable by including a variety of white women with down-to-earth jobs like bra designer, fashion icon, and celebrity photographer. And I wonder if I can work in cancer? Watch out, heart strings!
It’s not exactly ground-breaking material but here’s the gimmick that’ll put butts in theatres: it’s Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong playing Perry. And is it pretty effing cool to see him play the guy he might have been had his own post-punk outfit not taken off when it did? Yes, yes it is.
moment that he was watching Billie Joe Armstrong. I, on the other hand, thought it was a scootch worse than that. Unnatural. Self-conscious. Very “you can tell I’m acting because my hand is over here on my hip, which means I’m going through some internal conflict I’m not subtle enough to convey any other way.” And yet I’m not going to condemn him because the movie really is a vehicle for him. He’s what makes it cool and relevant, makes the movie rise above the other mid-life-crisis\path-not-taken meditations. Plus, Kirk pads the cast with some better talent: Judy Greer as the old flame, Selma Blair as the current wife, Chris Messina as the scowling brother, Fred Armisen as an ex-bandmate.
The regret without resentment shows maturity I’m surprised to see in a character like Perry. Billie Joe never quite transcends the role, but there is an honest vulnerability there that’s a little charming. And Billie Joe is not just a casting liability, he’s an asset to the soundtrack because he’s written some original music for it, and the movie is never more confidant than when Armstrong is performing. In this he excels. The songs he wrote are great and I imagine they’ll be invading your radio waves sometime soon, lending the movie some major credibility.
an energy that defies the fact that Armstrong is in fact a middle-aged father of two. They played a couple of Green Day tunes as well, Scattered and then American Idiot, which morphed into Bad Reputation. Oh, did I not mention that Joan Jett was in the house? Yeah, she has a small cameo in the film but she got up on stage and showed the boys what a scene-stealing badass she still is. Her voice hasn’t aged a single minute and the woman’s still sporting leather pants. Armstrong closed the night with Ordinary World, the film’s acoustic ballad, and I couldn’t help but wonder at the twinkly goodness of my life. In the movie of my life, there is no path not taken.
ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES 