Tag Archives: unnecessary sequels

Horrible Bosses 2 (some thoughts)

See a refresher of Horrible Bosses (the first movie) here.

In theaters November 26th.

We went into this movie with low expectations, 2 soft pretzels, 2 pieces of pretty crappy pizza, 2 hot dogs, 3 drinks, and absolutely no recording devices (we were wanded on our way in to prove it).

The industry people were trying really hard to pump the audience up before the movie started, but asking questions like “Who thinks it’ll be better than the first?” got a very tepid response.

I didn’t have very positive feelings about the first movie, as far as I could recall, and I couldn’t recall much. When I re-watched it recently, I found that I actually liked the interactions between the 3 leads and hated the parts with the actual bosses. Despite being the title characters, and the reason for the movie, the bosses felt way too over the top. I also felt they got kind of a bum rap because we call them horrible bosses despite the fact that it seems that they’ve got some pretty horrible employees on their hands. I mean, laughing at someone’s dead Gam-Gam? Horrible. Plotting to murder someone? Even more horrible. Horribler. So the movie felt thin to me, like it hardly had enough material to fill a whole 90 minutes to begin with. So did I think, in a million billion years that a sequel was necessary? No. No I didn’t. But they gave us one anyway.

Horrible Bosses 2 solves the boss problem immediately: the boys have had a “genius” (?) idea and are now their own bosses! They’re entrepreneurs! Sure they were bumbling idiots in the last movie but I’m sure they’re savvy businessmen now. This is not going to backfire AT ALL. Plus, with the clever elimination of actual bosses, we can finally call this franchise what it’s really been all along: horrible people. But the producers are banking on us also finding them horribly funny.

The first 5 minutes quickly let us know what to expect: we see Kurt demo-ing their new product, the Shower Buddy, on live TV. Only it looks like he’s getting beat off by Dale. On live TV. It feels very much like an SNL skit and no so much like a movie. And since this movie’s concept is so flimsy, they repeatedly offer us these little scenarios rather than a whole, cohesive film. In fact, I’ve rarely seen a movie with so many music montages, including the use of the very same overused song I complained about in the first movie! (How You Like Me Now?) But Charlie Day, Jason Bateman, and Jason Sudeikis are indeed horribly funny and are the reason to watch this movie (not only did they not need a single other character, but they hardly needed a script).

Both Matt and Sean do excellent jobs of reviewing the movie. Here are some thoughts that occurred to me:

-Kevin Spacey’s had some work done. He phoned in his scenes possibly straight from the plastic surgeon’s office, and I don’t mean that as a compliment.

-The asshats never learn a damn thing. I’m not just talking character development (ha!) – I mean literally, that at least in the first movie they paused somewhere along the route to murder. This time? Straight to crime to save their flailing business. It never even occurred to them to sell that shit.

– Pinkberry is really just an excuse to eat a bowl of candy. Can we all admit that? “Frozen yogurt” definitely sounds better, even sounds a bit healthy, but let’s face it. The yogurt is just a conduit to the several pounds of candy you heap on top.

– I think the warehouse parking lot is the same parking lot from The Office. Maybe that’s the binge-watching talking.

– Chris Pine “Fight Clubbing” himself is pretty intense. Kind of made me want to see him get hurt some more. Maybe even hurt him myself. Stay tuned for that.

– I wish I had more opportunities to get in a closet and slap my friends.

– I’d like to comb Charlie Day’s beard. Also, his accents had the whole theatre giggling. Although it was the Mark Twain cameo that made Sean snort. He didn’t tell you that part, did he?

– BEST CAR CHASE EVER.

Horrible Bosses 2

3 Replies

I haven’t been so surprised by a movie poster since Night at the Museum 2. Horrible Bosses 2??? I probably shouldn’t have been- the first movie ended with the threat of a sequel but I didn’t think that any studio would let them get away with it.

Then I saw Jason Sudeikis on Letterman talking about how Horrible Bosses made $300 million (he sounded like he couldn’t believe it either). I had no idea. I used to recommend it to people, describing it as “kind of funny” as if I had discovered it myself- a mostly forgettable but worth watching comedy that had flown below the radar. Apparently, I had under-estimated how much the average movie-goer could relate to wanting to kill their boss.

This is my first review so it might be too soon to admit something so embarrassing but, yeah, I liked Horrible Bosses. I have always liked Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis and, though I wish they had teamed up on something a little more inspired, watching Sudeikis and Day talking (screaming, in Day’s case) over each other while Bateman rolls his eyes makes me laugh every time and a screenwriter doesn’t have to be brilliant to make this trio funny.

How much you like Horrible Bosses 2 depends both on how you feel about Horrible Bosses 1 and how you feel about sequels in general. If you loved the first one and would be content with just more of the same, I can’t see you finding fault with the sequel. It plays like a 109-minute deleted scene on the Horrible Bosses dvd. Nick, Kurt, and Dale (be careful reading that out loud) are in over their heads again, dream up knuckle-headed ideas to get out of trouble, and argue amongst themselves even more than Asshole Watching Movies.

I enjoyed almost every minute Nick, Kurt, and Dale were on screen, particularly whenever they’re trying to break in and out of places as they congratulate each other on how good at this they’re getting. The movie drags only when other characters are in the spotlight, especially Kevin Spacey and Jennifer Aniston- both of whom made me laugh once or twice in the first film but are completely unnecessary in the second. A drawn-out scene where Aniston eagerly fishes for graphic details when another characters talks about his first homosexual encounter in a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting is probably the most tedious part of either of the two films.

So, if you expect a sequel to aim higher than essentially making the same movie again, I’d recommend The Dark Knight or The Godfather Part II. But if you liked these three characters as much as I did the first time around and are up for watching more of the same (just this time even more out of control), consider this my first ever Assholes Watching Movies recommendation to you.

Want another asshole’s opinion? See Sean’s review of Horrible Bosses 2 here.

Horrible Bosses 2

2 Replies

I am in the same boat as Jay when it comes to Horrible Bosses – I do not remember the first movie at all. That probably means we went to the drive-in and were not watching the movie, which is fine by me! Anyway, I do remember watching Horrible Bosses 2 because I just saw it last night, and laughed a lot.

I laughed even though this movie is not particularly clever or innovative and really makes no sense when you think about it (spoiler alert: why not try to sell your 100,000 Shower Buddies to someone else?) until you take Jamie Foxx at his word that NickKurtDale are the craziest criminals he has ever met. They just like doing this sort of stuff and I guess on that reasoning it makes perfect sense that when they run into adversity they start hatching illegal schemes (which may or may not involve zip lines, trampolines and skateboards).

I laughed because these three guys (Jason Bateman, Jason Sudekis and Charlie Day) have such good chemistry and clearly are having fun every step of the way, often at each other’s expense. And I don’t think that’s character-driven, because there isn’t a whole lot of acting going on. That’s not even a criticism – I wasn’t there to see acting, I was there to laugh, and mission accomplished on that front. It’s not an Oscar winner but it’s about as much fun as you can have at the movies when the drive-in is closed for the winter.

Well executed and surprisingly good, Horrible Bosses 2 is one to watch, preferably with a few good friends who could help you plan a kidnaping if it ever comes to that.

Live Blogging Sin City: A Dame To Kill For

5 Replies

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILAGE AHEAD

Oh hello, old friend. Less than two minutes in and we have our first dead body. Love the feel of these movies, it’s instantly cool. Mickey Rourke as “Marv”. Familiar growl. Loving the stark contrast of the snowfall in black and white. This narrative is reminding me very much of the first one. Like, a LOT. Like, am I accidentally watching the first one?

Nope. It’s the second one. Jessica Alba’s still sexy. How many babies does she have now? Damn.

Oh shit. Man on fire. “Burning meat.” This explains the first dead body – a weird sense of vengeance. Good citizenry on Marv’s part. Ooooh, lots of breaking glass as he flies through the windshield. I hope that means this movie was released in 3D. Aaaannnnd there’s our first explosion, 4 minute mark.

Oooh, getting arrowed half to death, the noosed the rest of the way. And first slit throat, 5:10. White blood gushes toward me and splashes me with the fact that Marv has just murdered a “brand name” – and he happens to be wearing his coat. Oh that Marv. Conveniently can never remember a damn thing.

Credits: lots of old crew back. Some new faces. Tragically no Clive Owen. Stupid. Jeremy Piven? Seriously? Oh fuck. What have I gotten myself into?

Oooh, cool effect on the shuffling deck of cards. Like that.

Joseph Gordon Levitt. I like him. No replacement for Clive Owen, mind you. Looking very young in black and white. Not nearly jaded enough for this movie. He does have the smug asshole look down though. Been practicing that one in the mirror, eh, Joey?

I was super relieved not to see Rory Gilmore in these credits. Now we’re in a bar where we see some colour on the purty, near-naked ladies. Painted lips. Redheads.

Room full of card sharps. Look like white collar criminals by day. Still wearing their bankers’ shirts. Some heavy shit gambling going on in here. And Joey’s already raking in the chips while Jessie’s in another room with sexy laces all up her thighs, spying on the poker as it plays. Oh, Joey’s playing “the senator”. For HIGH stakes. Bound to be trouble. Jessie’s got a gun. Joey’s got the goods and leaves with lots of coin. A cop player warns him to run – he can’t protect him.

Jessica Alba’s back to dancing. Using the gun as a weird prop. And here enters King Willis. Jessica Alba is nearly ready to shoot the senator as he leaves but doesn’t. Bruce mentally whispers for her not to avenge him. It’s very dramatic, the mental whispering.

JGL is showing his floosie a good time on the town but then his credit cards go mysteriously bad. They’re beign followed and it “smells all wrong.” He confronts the thugs, as big as bulls, and takes them both down. Now he looks clean cut but menacing, a few hairs out of place. He gets into a car with the senator to “go downtown.”

“You made a fool of me, boy.” The senator is displeased. He’s brought pliers, so others will know that they shouldn’t fuck with power. Oh, yup, those fingers are messed the fuck up! And now he’s shooting him, just for good measure. Now everyone else will knowthe senator’s a super sore loser. What the what? Turns out JGL is “one of his” – ie, the senator’s son. One of many bastards apparently. Shit. Son vows vengeance and knowing this movie, there’ll be plenty of it.

Josh Brolin (Dwight) now, creeping on Ray Liotta and some young blonde. He vows this is the last time because his wife is making threats. Doesn’t stop him from taking her dress off. Josh Brolin taking secret pictures. Didn’t need to see Liotta’s ass, and neither do you. After one last (short) fuck, he’s forced to kill the girl to keep the secret so out comes the gun and – more breaking glass! – Clive Owen’s shitty replacement flies through the skylight to smash Liotta’s face in and save the dame, who, it turns out, is not a blonde, but a REDHEAD.

Some coloured neon lights in “old town”. More throaty narration. Dwight brings the photos to Liotta’s wife, having left him beaten and handcuffed to the bed. He’s dramatically remembering some terrible thing that he did (but not sharing it with us) – must be pretty bad because he calls himself a monster and screams into the night while kneeling next to a cliff. SUPER GODDAMNED DRAMATIC.

Back at the office, Dwight gets a call from Ava. Goes to meet her at a saloon. Jessica Alba (Nancy) is dancing in a red wig. Ava appears, blue coat, worth the wait. As tall as he is. Has been thinking of him. He still cares. She gets whisked away for unpleasant business. Dwight tries to talk himself out of it but has to follow her. Spies on her naked. Glorious. Worth the price of admission. Dwight is so enthralled by her luscious buttocks slicing through the pool water he gets surprised by henchmen and falls off the roof. She allows him to be beaten. Badly.

Tossed out of a car, looking pretty rough. His mustang mysteriously returned to him. Ava naked (with a cigarette) in his bed. Shadows in all the right places. Offers herself to him. He threatens to bash her teeth in. This seems to turn her on. He does in fact smack her good before they kiss. Blowie implied, reverse cowgirl, and then more standing around naked, her beautifully on display, him mercifully shadowed. Tells Dwight that her sadistic rich husband allows her to run away only because he knows she’ll always be found, and then disciplined with her transgressions. And then Manute shows up, or has always been there, and though he’s recently enjoyed beating the crap out of Dwight, he does it again, for good measure. More breaking glass as Dwight goes out the window.

Nancy in chaps. Dwight and Marv at the bar. Drinks. Dwight tells Marv about Ava and his eyes “go killer red.” They charge her compound. Two beasts beat the living crap out of each other. More breaking glass. One literally plucks a pulsing eyeball out of the other. Luc can tell by the look on my face that I’m not liking this bit. Meanwhile, Dwight seeks out the evil, rich husband who’s sitting around in his sexy satin robe. Some red blood. Ava is not really covered in a diaphenous robe that’s pleasingly see through and nipplerrific. She accuses Dwight of murdering an innocent man. Apparently this was her plan all along, and he’s made her a rich woman. She shoots him, vowing never to make her living on her back again. Boy he sure fell for her tricks. Aaaaand breaking glass. Jeez. You know you’re having a bad day when you fly through a window for, what? the third time?

Oh hot damn! Bullet in the eye. Didn’t need to see that. Love how he’s still breathily narrating away though. Tough old bugger. Eye for an eye, eh?

Ava is crying to the cops, fingering Dwight for the whole thing, wearing a few more clothes and not as much smutty lipstick. Tells them a whole tall tale. Jeremy Piven is as annoying as I imagined. Maybe more.

Marv is getting Dwight to a guy he knows who’s good with bullets. The girls of Old Town come out with their guns drawn. Rosario Dawson (Gail) in a weird S&M luchador mask.

Ava is naked again, in the bath. Smutty lipstick in place. Detective calls her. He’s also naked. The better to masturbate by? He’s “thinking about her” (this is code for has wood). She “can’t bear to be alone” which is code for : I wish to manipulate you and he and his wood go running.

Gail and her weird mullet just knew he’d be back. And deadly little Miho! Um, dude, she doesn’t recognize you because a) you used to have 2 eyes and b) you used to be handsome Clive Owen. Miho doesn’t kill him because he saved her ass when she was 15. It is unclear why she was threatening to kill him in the first place. He’s hanging around for “more surgery.”

The detective is of course in love with Ava. Is so turned on by her describing a fictitious rape that he has to fuck her on the spot (um, sensitivity training, anyone?) Even Jeremy Piven is disapproving. Detective humps like a dog. Dwight calls and she answers mid-hump. He’ll be coming for her soon. Ava wants the detecting to kill Dwight, but only if a) he’s a man and b) if he wants to ever fuck her again. Jeremy Piven for some reason just doesn’t understand and so he must die: shot through the eye. 3 eyes in under an hour, folks! Show of hands – who’s doinga happy dance that Piven’s already dead?

Oops. Detective puts gun to his own head. Misses his eyes but this one’s gone too.

Ava’s already loving up on warty mcwarterton – Stacy Keach unrecognizable as Wallenquist – who counsels her to procure Dwight’s suicide, and a suicide note confessing to her crimes. Luckily (I assume), Rosario Dawson is undercover (or simply making a quick couple of bucks) as a waitress at this shindig so when a sketchy dude gets off the train and meets Manute, she’s there to meet him in a blonde wig. The wig budget on this movie must be incredible. Rivals the prosthetic eye budget I bet.

And it turns out sketchy train dude is in fact Dwight, post-op. He has floppy hair now. Like Clive Owen? Except you wish! Manute sees right through the ruse. Henchman does not see through Rosario’s southern accent (possibly the leather bustier is helping). Miho, hiding in the trunk, swords him right through the neck. Sounds wet.

Guess who’s naked again! “You can’t make a sale without showing the goods.” Ava comes on to him and he actually has to steel himself not to fall all over her. Huge explosion. Breaking glass. Oh no, pretty naked girl will have scars! Wait, was that an arrow through the eye? Oh! Multiple beheading!

Manute is cocky – takes 6 shots, but not a single head wound. Four more will kill him though (again, I assume). The only 2 left standing, Dwight and Ava celebrate with a kiss. Their tongues are still touching when he pulls the trigger.

Hey. Little JGL is back, knocking on Doc Brown’s door. Doc Kroenig in this movie, I guess. Same crazy hair though. Jesus. “Sterilizes” the scalpel with a nice dirty rag wipe. Extricates the bullet in young Johnny’s leg. Trades his shoes to have his fingers straightened. It’s pretty awful. Now he’s shoeless and it’s raining and he’s feeling pretty sorry for himself when he remembers – the girl!

He goes to her, but daddy’s already gotten to her. Severed hand on the table. Wait. Two severed hands. And there’s her head. Severed. Little Johnny dives through an (open) window to escape. And all he can think about is gambling. Yes, gambling will be his salvation.

Oh shit. Lady Gaga and Madonna’s 1984 eyebrows make an unwanted appearance. She should stick to flushing her music “career” down the toilet. She gives him the buck he needs to get back int eh game.

Tracks daddy down. Gets into the game. Is dealt some good cards, real good, but keeps folding. Pourquoi?

He goes all in. Daddy has 4Kings. Baby has 4 Aces. Oh damn. Little Johnny wins and gets a bullet in the head. But it was a moral victory, right?

Meanwhile, Nancy is visiting Bruce Willis’s grave. He whispers more advice to her as his ghostly self. The senator is fixing to do away with her next – blames her for his yellow son’s death (remember the yellow dude from the first movie?). She’s been hitting the bottle, and the target range.

Nancy wants to show ghost Bruce Willis how she can take down a senator by “going crazy” and like all crazy women, she cuts her own hair. The senator pays her a visit and brings a good old fashioned switchblade. Seems to have the same obsession with making ladies scream as his yellow son. But the apparition was just a dream? I guess that’s why no one lost an eye.

Next stop on the way to crazy town: smashing your face into a mirror. Using broken mirror shard to cut own face. She’s all stitched up like Frankenstein’s monster and recruits Marv for backup. He’s game. An unexplained motorcycle gang is no obstacle at all.

“There’s no reason to leave anybody alive. Nobody’s innocent.”

When did Nancy learn to shoot a crossbow? She must be watching The Walking Dead. Marv just pops someone’s head. Like, crushes it until it bursts open. And chalk another one up for the eye count. Mirrors continue to be Nancy’s nemesis – she gets confused and in her undoing, the senator shoots her, then sexually harrasses her while she’s down.

Bruce Willis’s ghost to the rescue! The senator sees dead people. Nancy regains upperhand and kills him. Dirty rotten town. Roll credits.

What did I think?

This movies does little to improve upon the first.

“Rehash” comes to mind.

Tries to use women as more than props but given the nudity of our femme fatale, I’m not sure they’ve won any points.

Decent, I suppose, but hollow. The first one felt almost ground breaking, and this one just rode on its laurels. If you have 7 years between films, the audience is going to expect something more. Up the ante. This was just cashing a cheque.

Harold And Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

5 Replies

Canada legalized weed last month so I bet Netflix has noted a marked increase in the streaming of dumb comedies like this one.

Dumb doesn’t begin to cover it though. Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle came out in 2004. Its sequel came out 4 years later but only about 5 minutes later in movie time. Harold and Kumar have just had the craziest, drug-fueled adventure of their lives, followed by the greasy binging of dozens of weird little burgers that apparently exist in real life. Then Harold triumphantly kisses the girl next door and the sequel finds him MV5BMjE2MzU4NzM4Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzQ1NDk2MQ@@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,1453,1000_AL_ gloating over his moment of elevator glory when Kumar reminds him that in the previous movie, they’d booked plane tickets to Amsterdam so they could creepily follow the girl next door overseas for some intercontinental stalking.

It’s on this plane ride where things go awry. Incorrigible stoners, one of them can’t help but smoke up in the bathroom, which leads to a kerfuffle with the air marshals, which results in our illustrious heroes getting summarily locked up in Guantanamo, subject to a whole buffet of cockmeat sandwiches. The title sort of gives away the fact that they escape, only so they can get into yet more shenanigans.

If there was anything funny about the first movie, and I find myself doubting it now, there is nothing redeeming about the second. If only the jokes were just juvenile, but these babies teeter and flail way over the edge of downright racist. I’m exhausted by unfunniness. It’s very draining to watch a comedy and not laugh once. Like, you just strain so hard, trying to do your part, hold up your end of the joke equation, ready to laugh at the merest flicker, merest hint that something funny this way comes. I think my blood pressure got dangerously low there for a while. But don’t worry, I’ve recovered, and I put Harold and Kumar back on the dusty Netflix shelf. I hid it behind Shakespeare In Love, so I’m pretty sure no one’s going to find it for a long, long time.

Christmas With a Prince: Becoming Royal

1 Reply

Last time on Christmas With a Prince: dedicated pediatric doctor Tasha Miller (Kaitlyn Leeb) reunites with her high school crush who just happens to be Prince Alexander Cavalieri of St. Savarre (Nick Hounslow) who has just broken his leg on a nearby ski slope. He convalesces in hiding on her pediatric ward, which infuriates her, and yet his charm makes her think that she could save him from himself by loving him enough and injecting him with good old fashioned Christmas spirit.

Cut to the sequel, where we join Dr. Tasha on her way to see her prince. He’s busy with some treaty-signing with royals from Vandelien, including princess Miranda, who imagined that she might be the one by his side, so she’s jealously throwing royal wrenches into their happiness, especially after the prince proposes a certain question to Tasha and she starts her journey to “become royal” (ie, plan a wedding, do some neck-strengthening exercises to prepare herself for That Crown). Although, inexplicably her arch-nemesis Miranda will not only be staying for the holidays, but will be helping with the wedding planning too. And if that’s already pushing the bounds of your skepticism, you’re really not going to like what’s coming next. Let’s just say that Miranda is ruthless. But at least her black heart is a kind of motivation we understand; when the other characters baffle us with their choices, there is little to explain it away.

The two leads have a convincing enough chemistry, and are capable enough to anchor a minor Hallmark movie. But some of the other key players are…less so. But when the movie’s not taking itself remotely seriously, not bothering to obey the basic laws of the universe, does bad acting really matter? I mean, it doesn’t matter if you’ve turned it off, which is what you should have done. That’s the appropriate response. Not to worry: there’s be another Christmas movie along in 5-10 minutes. Go raid the fridge for leftovers, find your cozy slippers, and flip the channel for a heart-warming piece of crap you can live with.