Gone Girl, Starring Ben Affleck’s Penis

The bad news is that you have sit through pretty much the whole entire movie just to see it. And don’t be distracted by his ass. That was a fine tactic by the filmmakers and I respect it but we should rise above. You can see ass in almost any movie. You came here to see dick.

See that thigh? Keeeeeep going…almost there. Penis! Side peen, but peen just the same.

Jennifer Garner, proud wife of Ben and owner of said penis, shocked Ellen by saying Fincher needed a “wide lens” to shoot that glorious thing.nph

I believe this movie is 2-for-1 in that we also get a glimpse of Neil Patrick Harris’ cock as well, but that one comes at the exact moment that the whole theatre is recoiling in horror and looking away.

So. Big Ben. Thumbs up or thumbs down?

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