Monthly Archives: December 2014

Life Itself

Our first meta-review, guys! Because how do you review a documentary made about the man who made movie reviews famous? Roger Ebert wasn’t the first film critic, and probably not the best, but he’s the one I grew up with, him and his thumb, and whichever way he was wielding it, it had power.

This film, made in the months immediately preceding his death, is an ode to love of film, and love of life. Indeed, we are privileged to meet the love of Ebert’s life, and she is brave enough to share their story with us. For that reason alone, this film is worth the watch.

It also gave a fascinating glimpse of the relationship between Siskel and Ebert. With some behind the scenes outtakes from their early days of television, we see the two not just butting heads but activiely disliking and dismissing one another. The animosity is awkward and seething and you can only imagine what it must have been like to work on the set of that show. At one point we hear Siskel refer to Ebert as an asshole, and though that’s not the origin of this blog’s title, we are the Assholes Watching Movies, and that little bit of trivia caught my breath. By the end of their tenure they seemed to have grown into genuinely respecting and even caring for each other – Siskel later said that Ebert was an asshole, but “he’s my asshole.” The film pays no mention at all to Siskel’s replacement, the comparatively bland Roeper, and most people felt the zing went out of the show when Ebert lost his favourite sparring partner.

Life Itself (although the title of Ebert’s memoir) explores the nature of Ebert’s criticism. He was a populist who wanted to like every movie he saw, and he saw an enormous amount (although probably not as many as we watch – we don’t technically get paid to watch movies, but we mostly get paid while watching them, which is almost as good). He took his job seriously and defended his position vehemently. He sometimes introduced new voices to the world. He championed Scorsese, who probably didn’t need it but seemed to really value it nonetheless, is his early, unknown days as a budding film director. Werner Herzog says of him “He reinforced my courage.” He measured movies against his own moral code and if they violated it needlessly, he could be ruthless. But he also believed in reviewing movies within a context, which is something I hope we’ll replicate here. We’re part of the fan culture that he helped create with his accessible reviews. We aren’t trained critics, but neither was he (he started out as a sports writer, apparently). He wanted his reviews to be only the starting point, and that’s what we’re hoping for here too – to have a conversation with whomever wanders in and reads the blog. Write us comments. Let’s discuss.

Roger Ebert’s disease was eating away at him. Without a jaw, he still managed to not only be witty, but infectiously so. He could still be expressive even without his voice. It was when words started failing altogether, when he could no longer type nor communicate that he seemd to lose his will to live. It hurts to watch this decline but it helps a bit to see this film as a celebration of a man who lived for movies, and lived as if he was in one.

Rest in peace.

Quartet

We find three friends living in a nursing home for retired musicians. They have performed together, years ago, and remember those days fondly, but their days of entertaining are not quite over. The home puts on an annual show and everyone’s busy preparing for it, as well as preparing for a new resident – rumoured to be quite a star. And as she pulls up in a chauffeured car with her many furs and jewels, Maggie Smith is every inch a star.

The trio of friends is in upheaval – Cecily is ecstatic to reconnect with an old friend, but Reginald is angry to find his ex-wife now living in the same home. Reginald’s best friend and one-time best man Wilf (played by Billy Connolly) tries to keep the peace but soon they must all work together because age and failing health has jeopardized the show, and the quartet must replace the last act, currently hospitalized, to ensure enough money is raised to keep the home solvent for another year, although Jean (Smith) has vowed never to perform in public again.

Okay, so the plot is predictable. Will they sing together once again? Of course they will. We’d be watching four more amenable geezers otherwise. The meat of the movie is more in the subplot, the pain between Reginald and Jean and their heartbreak still palpable after all these years. The joy of this movie is seeing all of these musicians, in the “encore” of their lives, still burning with passion for their craft. Even with dementia creeping in, music is the last thing to be forgotten. Director Dustin Hoffman does a lovely job juxtaposing the ailing bodies with spirited music, arthritic fingers still finding all the right notes, voices cracking with age but still filled with dignity and resonance.

Of course Billy Connolly injects a lot of energy and charisma into the film, providing lots of light counterpoints. It’s an enjoyable film that gives you lots to admire. I particularly enjoyed that the supporting cast is made up of actual retired stage performers (check the credits for their past work). Oftentimes when watching a British film, it’s like watching a reunion of old friends. When Maggie Smith appeared, I was watching over her shoulder for Penelope Wilton, who never appeared, but the ghost of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel was a bit of a specter in this movie, and anyone who enjoyed that one will find satisfaction in Quartet.

p.s. If you enjoy this movie, and maybe even if you don’t, you should check out Young at Heart (2007), a documentary about an elderly chorus group who enjoys singing rock, punk, and all kinds of unexpected tunes. Really good stuff.

How To Train Your Dragon 2

 

Has it really been four years since the first one? No wonder I barely remember it.

I do remember being surprised how much I liked it though. The heroic score and spectacular animation of dragons in flight was impressive even when seen through my tiny portable dvd player. And the story-as best as I could remember about a Viking boy named Hiccup who is the only one who believes that dragons can be our friends- was touching stuff and completely changed the way I felt about dragons.

In How to Train Your Dragon 2, Hiccup has changed his village for the better. Now everyone has a dragon of their own and even have dragon races. Even though he is solely responsible for all these changes, Hiccup still can’t quite fit in and skips the dragon racing to go exploring with his own pet dragon, unsure of who he is because he never knew his mother.

Last time, Hiccup discovered that sometimes, we are afraid of things because we misunderstand them. This time, he will learn an even more grown up lesson- that sometimes we are afraid of things because they are scary. When Hiccup’s dad, the chief, learns the evil Drago is building a dragon army, Hiccup urges everyone to keep calm and let him find Drago and reason with him. “This is what I’m good at”, he says. He will soon learn that “Men who kill without reason cannot be reasoned with” and that Drago really does in fact plan on enslaving all the people and dragons he can get his hands on. What a maniac. Once he has accepted that some men are just bad and need to be fought, Hiccup will finally be able to become his father’s successor as chief, a job that only Hiccup doubts that he was born for.

My memory of How to Train Your Dragon is vague but I remember enjoying it more than I did the sequel. The animation is even more impressive this time around with two battle scenes that I absolutely loved but the story doesn’t add anything to the message of the first one. And Kristen Wiig, as talented as she is, should not be doing voice work.

Gandhi

I spend a lot of my movie-watching time with old movies- “classics” as most DVD rental stores call them, so I thought I would post some online reviews of films that have been around longer than online reviews to see how well they hold up. This week I rented Richard Attenborough’s 1983 Academy Award for Best Picture Winner Gandhi, a movie I’ve always meant to see because I thought I “should” but never got around to. Maybe it was it’s 190 minute running time. But I sat through Interstellar twice over the last two weeks so I decided I was ready.

This is, of course, the story of Mohandas K Gandhi, who I’ll assume needs no introduction, beginning in South Africa in 1893 until his death in 1948. So, 55 years of history over 3 hours. Get comfortable.

What it’s lost with age. Or maybe this was always a problem. I was a year old when Gandhi was originally released and my parents wouldn’t take me to see it at the time as much as I begged. Watching it today though, I thought Attenborough’s perfectly understandable reverence for his subject might have gotten in the way. Gandhi is potrayed more as saint than complex human being and we never really understand why he did the things he did. I’m not usually one to complain about length but it is tough to hold an audience’s attention for three hours when the main character does nothing but humble and self-sacrificing things.

What still holds up. Gandhi is played by Ben Kingsley (Sir Ben now but back then I think it was just Ben). Ben won a well-deserved Oscar for the part, beating out Tootsie’s Dustin Hoffman who ironically turned down the chance to play Gandhi, making me shudder to think how bad this movie could have been. As both the young hopeful Gandhi and the exhausted and starving older one, Ben’s eyes, voice, and posture are almost perfect. His performance is by far the best reason to see this movie.

Nice surprise for modern audiences. Early in the film, Gandhi is stopped on the street and mocked by three young punks (although they probably wouldn’t have been called that in the 1800s). My first thought was “These guys are so over the top. They have to be the worst actors in the entire movie”. My second thought was “Is that Daniel Day-Lewis?” It was. I guess everybody has to start somewhere.

Bottom line. When I’m watching a movie about a real guy, I tend not to like movies that try to cover too much. 55 years is a lot and I would have liked a movie that focused on a smaller, more manageable window in greater detail. Still, the old school production (real human extras instead of CGI ones, for example) give you that “they don’t make ’em like this anymore” feeling. And then there’s those performances. Ben Kingsley at his best, Daniel Day-Lewis at his worst. Who could ask for more?

Rain Man

Sean and I watched Rain Man, me for the nine hundredth time, Sean for the first. The first!Can you believe that?rain

I’m not going to review it because I believe and I certainly hope that he’s the only idiot to have not appreciated this film until now. And he did appreciate it. This film holds up beautifully, except maybe for the synth over the opening credits. This movie could have gone wrong in a lot of ways, so I have to give credit to the brilliant director (Barry Levinson) who treated the subject so tenderly. He doesn’t go directly for the heart strings, he doesn’t’ cloud the relationship with a lot of outside help. He creates a bond and lets his two actors shine. And they do. The movie may be a little off-kilter in some places but Dustin Hoffman never is. His performance I think is the best of his career (the Academy agreed). Tom Cruise could easily have faded into the background of such a performance but instead he also delivers one of his best, a raw and unsentimental portrayal of a man deeply layered in pain, confusion, and selfishness. Despite the inherent heaviness, this movie manages to pull us in not with easy tears, but with well-earned laughs.

And so Sean’s education continues.

Exciting New Development at Kanata Landmark Cinemas

Sean and I were recently out at Landmark Cinemas in Kanata to see Big Hero 6. It was a super sweet movie, surprisingly action-packed, with some awesome animation and a bunch of slick characters, including inventors\scientists (always a refreshing change from the ubiquitous princesses) who have endearingly quirky superhero alter-egos, and a snuggly inflatable robot named Baymax who steals the show and your heart.

We had a lot of fun at this movie and if you want to find out why, you can read Sean’s review here. Me? I’m not here to talk about the movie. I’m here to talk about the soda fountain.

There’s been a change at the Kanata theater since we were there last month to see Gone Girl, a big one. Now for the low, low price of twelve-freakin-bucks-and-change you can pour your own drinks! But not just any drinks! You can choose to vanilla Coke, or maybe you’re more in the mood for grape Sprite, or even (Jesus!) cherry Mr. Pibb!

Coca-Cola Freestyle is a touch-screen drink fountain that means you can have the option to over one hundred drinks and none of them are my beloved Diet Pepsi. It also means that there are long, long lines of thirsty people because though they’re fairly easy to operate, they’ll never be easy enough for old people, and there’s also an annoying browsing opportunity that newbies will take advantage of, people behind them late for their movies be damned.

Embracing the spirit of the big scary Coke robot, I opted for a cherry Sprite . Sean? Sean just had a coke.

Horrible Bosses 2 (some thoughts)

See a refresher of Horrible Bosses (the first movie) here.

In theaters November 26th.

We went into this movie with low expectations, 2 soft pretzels, 2 pieces of pretty crappy pizza, 2 hot dogs, 3 drinks, and absolutely no recording devices (we were wanded on our way in to prove it).

The industry people were trying really hard to pump the audience up before the movie started, but asking questions like “Who thinks it’ll be better than the first?” got a very tepid response.sequel

I didn’t have very positive feelings about the first movie, as far as I could recall, and I couldn’t recall much. When I re-watched it recently, I found that I actually liked the interactions between the 3 leads and hated the parts with the actual bosses. Despite being the title characters, and the reason for the movie, the bosses felt way too over the top. I also felt they got kind of a bum rap because we call them horrible bosses despite the fact that it seems that they’ve got some pretty horrible employees on their hands. I mean, laughing at someone’s dead Gam-Gam? Horrible. Plotting to murder someone? Even more horrible. Horribler. So the movie felt thin to me, like it hardly had enough material to fill a whole 90 minutes to begin with. So did I think, in a million billion years that a sequel was necessary? No. No I didn’t. But they gave us one anyway.

Horrible Bosses 2 solves the boss problem immediately: the boys have had a “genius” (?) idea and are now their own bosses! They’re entrepreneurs! Sure they were bumbling idiots in the last movie but I’m sure they’re savvy businessmen now. This is not going to backfire AT ALL. Plus, with the clever elimination of actual bosses, we can finally call this franchise what it’s really been all along: horrible people. But the producers are banking on us also finding them horribly funny.

The first 5 minutes quickly let us know what to expect: we see Kurt demo-ing their new product, the Shower Buddy, on live TV. Only it looks like he’s getting beat off by Dale. On live TV. It feels very much like an SNL skit and no so much like a movie. And since this movie’s concept is so flimsy, they repeatedly offer us these little scenarios rather than a whole, cohesive film. In fact, I’ve rarely seen a movie with so many music montages, including the use of the very same overused song I complained about in the first movie! (How You Like Me Now?) But Charlie Day, Jason Bateman, and Jason Sudeikis are indeed horribly funny and are the reason to watch this movie (not only did they not need a single other character, but they hardly needed a script).

Both Matt and Sean do excellent jobs of reviewing the movie. Here are some thoughts that occurred to me:

-Kevin Spacey’s had some work done. He phoned in his scenes possibly straight from the plastic surgeon’s office, and I don’t mean that as a compliment.

-The asshats never learn a damn thing. I’m not just talking character development (ha!) – I mean literally, that at least in the first movie they paused somewhere along the route to murder. This time? Straight to crime to save their flailing business. It never even occurred to them to sell that shit.

– Pinkberry is really just an excuse to eat a bowl of candy. Can we all admit that? “Frozen yogurt” definitely sounds better, even sounds a bit healthy, but let’s face it. The yogurt is just a conduit to the several pounds of candy you heap on top.

– I think the warehouse parking lot is the same parking lot from The Office. Maybe that’s the binge-watching talking.

–  Chris Pine “Fight Clubbing” himself is pretty intense. Kind of made me want to see him get hurt some more. Maybe even hurt him myself. Stay tuned for that.

– I wish I had more opportunities to get in a closet and slap my friends.

– I’d like to comb Charlie Day’s beard. Also, his accents had the whole theatre giggling. Although it was the Mark Twain cameo that made Sean snort. He didn’t tell you that part, did he?

– BEST CAR CHASE EVER.

 

Horrible Bosses 2

I haven’t been so surprised by a movie poster since Night at the Museum 2. Horrible Bosses 2??? I probably shouldn’t have been- the first movie ended with the threat of a sequel but I didn’t think that any studio would let them get away with it.

Then I saw Jason Sudeikis on Letterman talking about how Horrible Bosses made $300 million (he sounded like he couldn’t believe it either). I had no idea. I used to recommend it to people, describing it as “kind of funny” as if I had discovered it myself- a mostly forgettable but worth watching comedy that had flown below the radar. Apparently, I had under-estimated how much the average movie-goer could relate to wanting to kill their boss.

This is my first review so it might be too soon to admit something so embarrassing but, yeah, I liked Horrible Bosses. I have always liked Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis and, though I wish they had teamed up on something a little more inspired, watching Sudeikis and Day talking (screaming, in Day’s case) over each other while Bateman rolls his eyes makes me laugh every time and a screenwriter doesn’t have to be brilliant to make this trio funny.horribler

How much you like Horrible Bosses 2 depends both on how you feel about Horrible Bosses 1 and how you feel about sequels in general. If you loved the first one and would be content with just more of the same, I can’t see you finding fault with the sequel. It plays like a 109-minute deleted scene on the Horrible Bosses dvd. Nick, Kurt, and Dale (be careful reading that out loud) are in over their heads again, dream up knuckle-headed ideas to get out of trouble, and argue amongst themselves even more than Asshole Watching Movies.

I enjoyed almost every minute Nick, Kurt, and Dale were on screen, particularly whenever they’re trying to break in and out of places as they congratulate each other on how good at this they’re getting. The movie drags only when other characters are in the spotlight, especially Kevin Spacey and Jennifer Aniston- both of whom made me laugh once or twice in the first film but are completely unnecessary in the second. A drawn-out scene where Aniston eagerly fishes for graphic details when another characters talks about his first homosexual encounter in a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting is probably the most tedious part of either of the two films.

So, if you expect a sequel to aim higher than essentially making the same movie again, I’d recommend The Dark Knight or The Godfather Part II. But if you liked these three characters as much as I did the first time around and are up for watching more of the same (just this time even more out of control), consider this my first ever Assholes Watching Movies recommendation to you.

 

 

Want another asshole’s opinion? See Sean’s review of Horrible Bosses 2 here.

Horrible Bosses 2

I am in the same boat as Jay when it comes to Horrible Bosses – I do not remember the first movie at all.  That probably means we went to the drive-in and were not watching the movie, which is fine by me!  Anyway, I do remember watching Horrible Bosses 2 because I just saw it last night, and laughed a lot.

I laughed even though this movie is not particularly clever or innovative and really makes no sense when you think about it (spoiler alert: why not try to sell your 100,000 Shower Buddies to someone else?) until you take Jamie Foxx at his word that NickKurtDale are the craziest criminals he has ever met.  They just like doing this sort of stuff and I guess on that reasoning it makes perfect sense that when they run into adversity they start hatching illegal schemes (which may or may not involve zip lines, trampolines and skateboards). bosses2

I laughed because these three guys (Jason Bateman, Jason Sudekis and Charlie Day) have such good chemistry and clearly are having fun every step of the way, often at each other’s expense.  And I don’t think that’s character-driven, because there isn’t a whole lot of acting going on.  That’s not even a criticism – I wasn’t there to see acting, I was there to laugh, and mission accomplished on that front.  It’s not an Oscar winner but it’s about as much fun as you can have at the movies when the drive-in is closed for the winter.

Well executed and surprisingly good, Horrible Bosses 2 is one to watch, preferably with a few good friends who could help you plan a kidnaping if it ever comes to that.

Live Blogging Horrible Bosses

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

Since we’re attending a screening for Horrible Bosses 2 tomorrow night, I thought it might be good to review the original. I have indeed seen it before and don’t remember much except a vague feeling that I didn’t like it. I asked Matt, who has a crazy-good memory and near-infinite knowledge of movies if I liked this one and he said, basically, no. That I felt the bosses were “too horrible” and thus not relatable. Sounds kind of like me. So here goes.boss

Saw the original for the first time at the drive-in, so even if I didn’t like it I wouldn’t have felt too bad about it because it’s two for one, first of all, and second, if it’s bad, we just make out.

Kevin Spacey is very good at being a total fucking asshole. A little too good, if you catch my drift. Jennifer Aniston believable as the evil bitch. Oh yeah, and Colin Farrell and his god-awful combover as the dipshit cokehead son. I can already see what I meant about the bosses being a little too horrible.

I wish my boss harrassed me with 18 year old scotch.

Oh! The kid from Freaks and Geeks is in this. That dude grew up hot.

Okay, so there’s a horrible boss, and then there’s these guys, who aren’t just flirting with inappropriateness, they seem to be firmly in the “illegal” and “crazy hyperbolic caricatures” category.  Eye roll.

Oh I see. The premise depends on these ridiculous heights because otherwise we couldn’t spiral upwards to even more ridiculouser heights. Sure sure sure. Makes total sense. “It’s not murder if it’s justified.” So yes. As long as we accept that statement as fact we can roll right along. Except every ounce of my soul is crying NO! No. No. This is not remotely, remotely in the realm of possibility. Remotely.

How You Like Me Now – most overused song in movies? The Internet says Mazzy Star’s Fade Into You, The Stones’ Gimme Shelter and perennial favourite Stayin Alive are all top contenders as well. Still. I’m annoyed. This sounds more like a commercial than a montage.

Is Charlie Day like, Michael Cera about 10 minutes in the future? Same guy, just with facial hair?

Bob Newhart cameo in the house! Okay, I still do think the bosses were waaayyyyy too over the top (of course, murdering your annoying boss is a maybe a touch over the top as well), but the chemistry and all-round buddyness of our 3 boys is pretty fun. So I’ll be looking forward to that tomorrow night, and crossing my fingers for less Jennifer Aniston. Like, 100% less.