My Christmas Love

Uh oh: two minutes in and this Christmas movie is already a Christmas breakup movie. She calls her “employee” (a guy who serves as a hunk on the Hallmark channel, I take it), who ditches his guy friends to console his heartbroken boss in her house on her bed on Christmas Eve.

So there’s also the following classic Christmas issues, compounded with some romantic movie cliches to keep them company: 1. her sister is getting married, and she needs to find mv5bota4ntnlzgmtogfkmy00mzhlltg5m2itzwe4mjk0ntgzngqzl2ltywdll2ltywdlxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvyodm4mjyxma-_v1_sy1000_cr006661000_al_a +1 before the new year 2. her employee is going to be alone for the holidays so he gets invited along to her dad’s farm 3. her mother is recently deceased and it’s the first Christmas without her.

So now we’re 5 minutes into the movie, and I ask: is there a single person among us who CAN’T predict the agonizing ways in which this is about to unfold?

The rest of her family isn’t quite feeling the spirit, but she’s going to plod along, talking quickly and pooping Christmas as she goes. Her hometown is crawling with cheek-dimpled ex-boyfriends that make her “strictly platonic employee” not jealous at all. Oh, and every day a lady in an old-timey bonnet shows up to sing a verse of 12 Days of Christmas, and gifts her with the turtle doves or the partridge or whatever. So fun, right? And totally original. But she reframes it as a “romantic mystery” so basically she doesn’t get out much.

This movie aside, I’ve had a lovely little holiday, and now I’m passing time at work watching whatever crummy Christmas movie I can find on Youtube while wearing Christmassy dino socks and dreaming about leftover pie at home. Hope your day has been good too.

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16 thoughts on “My Christmas Love

  1. Pingback: An Even Grumpier Guide to Christmas Movies | ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES

  2. reocochran

    There is some comfort in predictable plots with happy endings so I spent more than a few hours this month trying out Hallmark movies, Jay. πŸ˜‰ xo
    Merry Christmas season and wishing you the happiest new year, with good surprises! πŸ™‚

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  3. Widdershins

    I was doing OK until I got home from a lovely Christmas with the Widds-in-laws and I went on-line, and there he was, George Michael, dead! …WTF 2016? … My gobsmacked has never been so emegherd-ed! … I guess because we wouldn’t let it have Carrie it took George.

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  4. Liz A.

    I can’t believe I missed this one. But now it is after the 25th, so Christmas movies are forbidden. Time to get into the movies on the DVR (that I recorded while we had a free HBO weekend). First up, Star Wars: The Force Awakens. (Yes, I’ve seen it before. I can watch it again.)

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  5. SD Gates

    Oh this movie sounds hideously saccharine with that overdone plot. I hope you had a Merry Christmas, and you a wonderful New Year. Keeping my fingers crossed that some good movies come out in 2017.

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  6. Brian Turner

    Thanks for taking the time to review the movie. You’d be amazed at exactly how narrow the window is for “acceptable plots” for family oriented Christmas movies. You see many of the same elements over and over again because, frankly, that’s what the network wants and they are the ones writing the checks.

    Sorry you didn’t find it more enjoyable. These things are targeted at a pretty specific audience and I’m guessing from the web domain you’re not female 25-54 πŸ™‚

    Wanna have some fun tearing down some more Christmas movies? My partner and I also wrote “Santa Baby” 1 and 2 and “Snowglobe”. Rip us a new one.

    Happy New Year! Please 2017, lay off the celebs.

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    1. Jay Post author

      I am exactly that demographic, as a matter of fact.
      I will have to check those out, if you’re sure you can take the heat πŸ˜‰

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