It’s not a total bag of shit. But it is a mixed bag, and I suppose we must allow that there is some shit in that mix.
I have a certain admiration, and perhaps a higher tolerance, for movies that take risks and push buttons. But a movie like this is going to test even my boundaries, flimsy as they are.
It’s set in a Los Angeles where humans and puppets live together, though not exactly peacefully. The puppets are treated like second-class citizens. And despite the fact that they’re called puppets, there’s no acknowledgement that traditionally that word has referred to an object animated by a human hand up the puppet’s bum. These puppets are people, and their plight is a very interesting allegory for the African American experience. Unfortunately, the film makers keep up that thread for maybe 10 minutes before they drop it in favour of shock-factor antics.
And I get it. Who can resist making puppets do rude things? I LOVE Avenue Q, but 
Avenue Q has a message and a point. It’s well-written and cleverly delivered. The Happytime Murders derails itself with its lewd antics, and if they get a laugh, they also take away from the plot, which is thin to begin with.
The gist: The Happytime Gang was a TV show, and now someone’s murdering its cast one by one. Detective Connie Edwards (Melissa McCarthy) and her ex-partner, puppet Phil Philips (Bill Barretta) have to overcome their history and a massive grudge to work together to save their friends.
But then: porn! So much puppet porn. And not the tasteful or vanilla, either. Puppets are in to some crazy stuff. Not to judge. But there were buckets of jizz, and puppet pubes, depraved bunnies, thirsty cows, and literal horn dogs. The murders are so much more sedate in comparison, puddles of stuffing rather than blood. It’s amazing, though, that something that sets out to be so shocking can so quickly become rather dull. One Sharon Stone-inspired puppet pussy shot is brilliant; repeating it can only reveal your lack of material.
The saddest thing, though, is the movie’s complete waste of funny ladies Melissa McCarthy and Elizabeth Banks. The script asks very little of them. McCarthy is relegated to sidekick status, and though she seems at ease among puppet costars, she doesn’t really get a chance to shine. If anyone, it’s Maya Rudolph who kind of steals the show as Philips’ long-suffering secretary, Bubbles, although it must be said that the puppetry is top-notch, and between you and I, I think I would have 100% enjoyed a documentary about the making of this movie better than the actual movie.
The Happytimes Murders is frequently disgusting, and often crude, but it’s not always bad. It’s not meant for everyone, but there was one woman in my screening who laughed like a hyena for the entire 91 minutes, so it does have its audience, it just may not be you. Or me. It goes out of its way to be ludicrous. If director Brian Henson (Jim Henson’s son) could hide in the theatre and poke you with a big puppet penis, he probably would. The movie was clearly made with glee and abandon, even if it isn’t always received that way by audiences. Personally, I just think it confuses lewd and dirty with entertaining a little too often, and for me that joke wore thin. But I won’t pretend I didn’t laugh occasionally – it was just usually the kind of laugh where you hide your own eyes in shame and hope that Grandpa isn’t watching from Heaven.
ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES 
I love the Muppets and have an affection for Jim Henson Company so I’m probably going to venture out to see it even if I’m not super excited for it. Your review is pretty much where my expectations were so, I know I can do much worse at the cinema.
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“If director Brian Henson (Jim Henson’s son) could hide in the theatre and poke you with a big puppet penis, he probably would.” Made me laugh 🙂 Overall, the movie sounds raunchy! I think I would probably watch it and laugh the same way you did 🙂
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Yeah, it’s over the top raunchy, like Sausage Party, if you’ve seen that.
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I love The Muppets, saw the movies and avidly watched the Muppet show with my dad who really loved it and he was a 6’1″ lumberman! I even liked the newest TV show that didn’t make it sadly. I will watch this because I might laugh like that lady or be more like you…I will only know once i sit down and see it
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Yeah, I found some things to like about it and if you come to laugh and to see puppets in a new light, then you might too.
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I think “buckets of jizz, and puppet pubes” takes this film to a whole new level. I had no idea there’d be such puppet smut!!x
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Oh boy, even the words sound tamer than the pictures!
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Well, we’ve already seen puppet jizz in the ’70’s porn Let My Puppets Come and one of the original pilots for The Muppet Show was called “The Muppets Present Sex And Violence”. It even sounds like it borrows from the mostly forgotten Greg The Bunny. It’s kind of sad that this doesn’t bring anything original to what seems to be a slowly emerging genre of puppet porn.
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Aside from the copious porn, it has a strong noire theme, which is kind of cool.
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I’m not into rude and crude. I don’t generally find it funny. So, hard pass.
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This could be great but I’m the only one in my cinema party who wants to see it. So if it sucks it’s my fault. It’s going to be my fault isn’t it?
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It is.
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Once again,thank you for saving two hours of my life and a 1.50 wasted on a what looks to be a Seattle Superstorm pile of cheetahpoo. Melissa McCarthy seems to have lost her mojo after “Spy” and one can only hope she gets it back soon. “Can You Ever Forgive Me” looks outstanding and I can’t wait to see how she does with a dramatic role.
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Me too! I think I will see it very shortly, at TIFF, and I have high hopes (having enjoyed the book).
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oh dear lord no.
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I saw the trailer for this and thought “I don’t think this one’s for me” and, eh, it definitely seems my initial thoughts were correct.
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Best opening line to a review ever, haha! As a Muppets fan I just have to see this…but at least I know what to expect!
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Good eye – it’s a stolen line from the movie, so you’ll appreciate it even more when you see it.
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I was prepared to write this off entirely, but the director is Brian Henson? It sounds like he’s taking a different creative direction than his dad. I thought he did a great job with “The Muppet Christmas Carol.” It showed me that he was more than a famous person’s son. I might give this one a chance … although I’m sure the crude humor will wear thin on me, too.
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Hmm. Sounds like it’s not for me.
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