Does the world need movies based on video game characters? Not really. But a good story can spring up from anywhere, except perhaps from the minds of screenwriters Josh Miller and Patrick Casey whose credits are so sparse they literally feature “community television” and yet Sonic The Hedgehog will still not make their highlight real.
Sonic The Hedgehog isn’t bad but it is speeding in the exact opposite direction of good, leaving only lightning farts and a blue blur in its wake. Is Sonic allergic to not sucking? Okay, so it’s kind of bad. The script is bland and overly familiar and exceedingly safe. There’s nothing new or exciting here, just a paint-by-numbers that any idiot could have written, and in the case of Sonic, we got two. I mean: someone got paid for this. Miller and Casey literally cashed a cheque for writing the line “Let’s go do some ROCK-conaissance!” and Jim Carrey got a much, much bigger one to say it.
And ugh: Jim Carrey. I was fine with him having disappeared off the face of the earth. I was never a fan of his annoying, rubber-faced schtick, the over-the-topness of his obnoxious expressions and over-enunciation. NOT. HERE. FOR. IT. I very kindly tolerate him when a director keeps a tight leash on him (Truman Show, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) but Jeff Fowler is not that director. Not only is Carrey unleashed, it’s pretty clear he’s a very bad dog who’s probably pissing on Fowler’s shoes. Fowler, whose credits are no more impressive than Miller’s or Casey’s (ie, he’s never made a movie before), is quite content to simply point his camera in the right direction.
James Marsden, charming and inoffensive, is relegated to saying things like “Good grief!” which is not a thing for grown men to say, or anyone outside of Charlie Brown’s inner circle, really. Tika Sumptner, playing his wife, is given even less to do. Ben Schwartz voices Sonic, and though Schwartz is known for rather larger than life characters, you could go the whole movie without placing his voice, generic white guy à la Zach Braff.
Sonic The Hedgehog is the film equivalent of an oatmeal raisin cookie. Kids might reach for it simply because it is a cookie, but if chocolate or peanut butter or even plain old shortbread were on offer, it would be no question. But it’s just 6 weeks into this new year and it’s virtually the only family-friendly movie in theatres. This is how oatmeal raisin thrives: a complete dearth of options.
ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES 
I like Jim Carrey. I like Sonic. I have no desire to see this.
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Good grief! Nope.
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“Sonic The Hedgehog is the film equivalent of an oatmeal raisin cookie.”
~ Ouch!
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Enjoyed your video review. You’ve got a new subscriber in me! 😀
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Oatmeal raisin cookie, huh? I think I’ll pass 😉
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Ugh Jim Carrey.
My nephew wants me to take him to see this. His parents were not thrilled when I offered to take him to see Harley Quinn instead 🙂
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lol at the last lines. I had no intention of seeing this and I appreciate you solidifying that decision.
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Totally agree with your opinion of Jim Carrey.
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I’m not a fan of Jim Carrey, but I still liked the movie
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Wasn’t Sonic a big deal… back when I worked at the evil toy store (not defunct)? Not only is it a video game movie, but a “classic” video game character movie. This had no hope of being good.
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Jim Carrey has turned out to be a better visual artist, drawing scathing satirical political cartoons blasting our vile President Pennywise and the corrupt GOP. I saw a wonderful exhibit of his drawings in L.A. about a year ago.
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Was thinking about it, mainly because I could not figure how to make movie-length show of it. So, it appears, I am right. not going.
Scott
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This was one of your most clever reviews. I laughed more here than I’m sure Carrey would be able to make happen. I will avoid. Thanks for taking one for the team!
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Amazing cookie analogy! I actually really loved the Sonic the Hedgehog comic series. I read all of it, but this movie just looks….not for me. I’ll see it, but I imagine I’ll feel the same way you do.
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“…the film equivalent of an oatmeal raisin cookie. Kids might reach for it simply because it is a cookie, but if chocolate or peanut butter or even plain old shortbread were on offer…”
Brilliant! 👏👏👏👏👏
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I saw this film this afternoon and you’re absolutely right about Jim Carrey. His Ace Ventura Shtick was getting old back in the 1990s and here it’s so stale it’s starting to smell.
The rest of the film was bland and forgettable. I didn’t like it, I didn’t hate it and I will probably be completely unable to remember anything about it by this time next month.
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Definitely a film I will never watch.
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Amazing cookie analogy! I sincerely truely loved the Sonic the Hedgehog comedian series. I study every over it, but that movie just looks….not because of me. I’ll confer it, but I imagine I’ll experience the equal way thou do.
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