Spoiler alert: I’m pretty sure the milkshake’s actually just vanilla.
Public safety notice: Don’t eat gunpowder. It’s not delicious and it also might set your toots on fire.
Friendly piece of advice: Chocolate beats vanilla. Peanut-butter-brownie’s even better. Salted-caramel-pretzel is the best.
Movie premise: Sam (Karen Gillan) is abandoned as a child by her assassin mom after a bloody diner gun-battle. Sam grows up to be a hitman herself, working for The Firm, led by a greasy guy named Nathan (Paul Giamatti). Sam’s last hit has gotten her into some hot oil: despite merely doing her job, she happens to have killed the son of a very important, and very vindictive man, who has sworn revenge. Even The Firm is upset with her, sending her on a mea culpa mission to recover stolen money, which she learned belatedly (ie after shooting the guy) is intended for ransom to save the dude’s young daughter. Sam takes it upon herself to rush the guy to the hitman hospital, and herself to the rendez vous point to try to save the kid, but at every turn Sam’s only making more enemies, and it’s increasingly unlikely she’ll get out of this thing alive.
My verdict: Derivative. The best parts of the movie are copied directly from other movies. Parts not directly plagiarized flag a bit. Director Navot Papushado is not a needle drop savant; I’ve seen some directors brilliantly and subversively pair an unexpected song with an action sequence, but Papushado is never going to be one of them. The action sequences are actually pretty fun (especially when “librarians” Carla Gugino, Michelle Yeoh, and Angela Bassett get in on the action), but the terrible music trips them up and tempers our enjoyment. Not really worth the watch unless you’re desperate for some action – or unless you’re trying to convince a producer that a librarian spinoff would be a much more intriguing idea.
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Well that’s a shame you didn’t like it, but I’ll be seeing it anyhow, I like to see some ladies doing their thing for a change.
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Well that’s one thing this film has going for it: lots of ladies kicking butt.
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Thank you from saving me from watching this one. I saw it as trending on Netflix and almost pressed play 🙂
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I’m lactose intolerant so for me drinking a milkshake is like drinking gunpowder.
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Haha, good point! So not worth it.
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How many more assassins can we squeeze into the lore? And can this type of film be anything but footnotes to greater predecessors? These are thoughts that keep me up at night😵💫🔋
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Every once in a while a John Wick will surprise you by finding something new in the genre. Very few are John Wicks, and if they’re not careful, soon John Wick won’t be either.
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I just saw the trailer for this and I was intrigued. Trailers are always better than the movie, lol. Thanks for the review.
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Yes they are!
Trailers don’t get made by the people who made the movie, they’re outsourced to a trailer pro, and some of them are VERY good at making very convincing trailers out of not very worthy movies.
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The actors caught my attention, but I passed on it after watching the trailer. Thanks for confirming my poor assessment.
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Yeah, I’d forgotten who was in it and was really glad to see Bassett and Yeoh in particular, and I just wished they were perhaps the protagonists instead.
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I’m not a fan of this kind of action even under the best of circumstances, so I’ll definitely pass.
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I will definitely watch this and I’ll curse myself for not listening to you as it plays out. I’m a boy in the yard… what brought me here?
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My gunpowder milkshake?
You won’t curse yourself. I don’t think it’s cursing bad. It’s just not great.
If you’re in the mood for some mindless action, it definitely delivers that.
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I was so looking forward to this and it was such a bummer. Though I will say at least it picks up when you know who finally comes back into it. Glad your back! Hope everyone’s doing okay!
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Yeah, there were parts I didn’t mind, though I knew I’d seen them elsewhere, and better.
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I’m just glad you’re back!
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I’m feeling pretty glad about that myself!
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