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Men, Women & Children

Just when you thought Jason Reitman could do no wrong, along comes Men, Women & Children, 2014’s movie we loved to hate.

But why did critics pan it and audiences avoid it? It’s not really an objectionable premise: a bunch of teenage kids, and their square parents, realize that the internet is colouring and changing their interactions and relationships on every level. It’s got a big cast of talented people. But it all just feels so sad. So infinitely sad.

The characters are all connected but the movie feels disconnected. As a necessity, everyone’s reacting to their screens and not to each other. The internet’s destroying us! – not exactly an original idea – but Reitman goes at it ambitiously, and vehemently.

For a script about technology, which is rooted firmly in the now, from a director who’s usually fairly with-it (witty teenage abortion with Juno, recession fallout in Up in the Air), this movie feels awfully stodgy and seems to miss the point. Plus, every single scenario, each character in the movie, exists not to tell a story but to tell a cautionary tale, one that will bash you over the head with its obviousness.

But the biggest crime that Reitman commits is that he fails to see that all of this internet-is-evil proof on offer in this film actually makes the opposite case. Eating disorders predate cellphones. Cheating on your spouse came before the internet. Exploiting children? Adolescent heartbreak? Parents worrying about teenagers? All very possible even without the help or the hindrance of technology. The weird thing about this movie is that the greatest evil seems to be when technology’s in the hands of the parents, not the kids. They’re the ones making the biggest mistakes, and shouldn’t they be the ones to know better?

Jason Reitman took a big swing here, but he missed by a mile.

Top Five

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Chris Rock plays a famous comedian who’s looking to trying to break away from his cheesy movie franchise and become a ‘serious actor’ with a film about a Haitian slave rebellion. On the day it opens, the Times sends him a reporter (Rosario Dawson) for an in-depth interview, and the two spend the day together, high-tailing it around New York City, stopping in for radio interviews, shopping for his bachelor party (he’s about to wed a reality starlet, played by Gabrielle Union), and visiting friends and relatives.

The cast is packed with Chris Rock cronies and they add to this semi-autobiographical vibe that permeates the movie and really makes it a thing of beauty. It allows him to do what he does best: he gets to weave his stand-up into the plot, sometimes cracking pretty vulgar, other times surprisingly sweet, riffing on other celebrities and exploring his thoughts on fame.

He challenges the people around him to make lists – the top 5 rappers seems to repeat itself as a kind of test he administers. So now I’m asking you, what’s yours?

Eight Crazy Nights

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Confession: I am an Adam Sandler fan. Or maybe he’s become more of a guilty pleasure over the years, emphasis on the guilty. I grew up watching him on SNL, fell a little in love with him watching Billy Madison, and have been the only grown woman in a long line of 12-year-old boys to many of his movies. And no matter how many Jack & Jills he throws at me, I keep coming back.

Eight Crazy Nights is not your standard holiday fare. Two and a half minutes in and this movie has already distinguished itself from other holiday movies: it’s lewd, it’s rude, and grandma’s not going to like it. I’m not even sure that I do, half the time. Potty humour’s not my thing. Like really not my thing.

This movie, when you can look beyond the crudeness, is actually kind of touching. It has messages of gratitude and appreciation, and an interfaith holiday celebration that’s more inclusive than any other holiday film on our list. But Adam Sandler is an eternal pre-pubescent boy. He is so squeamish about real emotion that any time he attempts it in his movies, he just as quickly negates it with bodily functions or silly voices. His discomfort is sadly obvious to the grown-up viewer, and yet, this movie doesn’t exactly seem directed at or appropriate for children. It is however, juvenile humour all the way. This movie can only appeal to pre-existing fans with a high tolerance for toilet jokes. It’s not charming or clever but it does have some guffaws, and even a song (“Technical Foul”) that you may find yourself singing around the house. Fans of Saturday Night Live will recognize voices from Sandler’s usual repertoire: Kevin Nealon, Rob Schneider, and Jon Lovitz.

This movie doesn’t belong on any list of the “Classics” and I’m the last person to suggest that it be included, but I do find myself watching it every year around the holidays. I guess I’m a sucker for the Hanukkah Song.

Jay’s favourite Christmas movie: A Christmas Story

Matt’s favourite Christmas movie: It’s a Wonderful Life

Vote for YOURS!

Mixed Nuts

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A small group of dedicated counsellors are working a crisis line on Christmas, even though they’re about to get evicted. It features an all-star cast: Steve Martin, Rita Wilson, Madeline Kahn, Adam Sandler, Liev Schreiber, Anthony LaPaglia, Juliette Lewis, Rob Reiner, Joely Fisher, and Garry Shandling. Victor Garber lends a voice, tiny Haley Joel Osment can be spotted, and Jon Stewart and Parker Posey play yuppie rollerbladers who are comparatively not worthy of top-billing.

I watch this movie without fail, every year. Admittedly, this is in part because for the past 7 I have found myself working at a crisis line on Christmas.

Now, the thing that you must understand about this movie is that it is bad. Quite bad. But lovable.

Rita Wilson is a goofball who probably shouldn’t be in movies. She’s way too earnest and tries too hard. She seems to mistake acting for clowning and all her lines are shouted, all her gestures hammy and over the top. But writer\director Nora Ephron had just finished making Sleepless in Seattle with Tom Hanks, and may she owed him one (Wilson is his wife).

But just so that Wilson doesn’t feel left out, the others join in on the sub-par acting. Steve Martin resorts to slap-stick. Adam Sandler does a bit with a ukelele that feels like an SNL sketch just wandered randomly onto the set. Juliette Lewis, never the last to board the crazy train, goes balls-deep in the fruitloop department. She delivers her lines as if she’s reading a book to a group of small, not very brightl children. Maybe they’re all just trying to get noticed? Too many cooks in the kitchen? Tooo many clowns at the circus?

This movie is SO bad that it actually uses a recording of the Jingle Cats doing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” Fruitcakes are abundant, both literally and figuratively. Liev Schreiber wears a dress and does a fierce tango in his feature film debut – oh what a career that man could have had! And by the way, who taught Juliette Lewis how to empty a gun?

But to me, all the bad pieces add up to a silly, fun movie, exactly the kind of thing I need in between depressive, suicidal callers when I’m at work early on Christmas morning. Madeline Kahn is perfection, and Rob Reiner, as the straight man, is pretty fun too. And despite the many problems, Nora Ephron is still Nora Ephron, and this movie is full of quotable lines. Is this required Christmas viewing? Certainly not. But if you’ve got a dearth of Christmas cheer, or hours to fill at work over the holidays, then give it a try. You may even find it becoming a Christmas staple.

Don’t forget to vote for your favourite Christmas movie!

Reign Over Me

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Man this movie looks gorgeous. And sounds gorgeous. What a soundtrack. It makes me wish this was a better movie. I think it’s a good one, but it coulda been a contender, you know? It really could have been something, and it came close.

Charlie Fineman (Adam Sandler) is a puddle of grief and sadness. He lost his wife, his dog, and his three beautiful little girls in 9\11 and now he’s alone in the world and wants to keep it that way. He won’t let anyone in because that would mean remembering. He roves the streets of New York on his Segway and you know it’s the dead of night because the streets are empty and just in case they’re not, he’s encased in the safety of his headphones, draining out even the slightest chance of human contact. He’s a mess, but this opening scene is a tender meditation.

Then one day his old college roommate Alan (Don Cheadle) sees him on the street. Charlie is so locked into his PTSD he can’t even recognize a man he lived with for two years. The two rekindle an odd friendship, Charlie on shaky footing but believing Alan is safe to let in because he never knew his family. But Charlie’s mental health is so deadened that Alan can’t ignore it, and seeks to find his friend the help he’s been staunchly refusing for years now.

Charlie is a portrait of grief that’s interesting and devastating to gaze upon. His house, once a family home, has degenerated into the saddest bachelor apartment you’ll ever see. His kitchen is in a constant state of renovation and demolition because that’s the last thing he and his wife fought about, and he can never quite bring himself to finish the project they started together. It is not lost on me that this is the third movie about grief and demolition that I’ve seen this month alone – Demolition, of course, and Life As a House, and now this. There must be something to it, this destruction of an old life, something cathartic. But it also made me think about those times when I leave the house mad. What if your last words were angry ones?

Sandler’s performance is moving but undisciplined, yet leaves absolutely no doubt that what we’re dealing with is a fucking broken heart. When he finally tells his story, it’s an effort, an ordeal not to look away. He sits in his dark apartment, playing video games, the imagery of which is not lost on the audience: a giant colossus is meant to topple in an attempt to bring a woman back to life. It’s sad and futile, and no matter the good intentions, we all must grieve in our own goddamned time.