A Very Country Christmas

Zane (Greyston Holt, which, being even more ostentatious and on-the-nose than Zane, can’t possibly be the name his mama gave him at birth) is the biggest country music star in the country but he’s had a tough year and one night he just walks away from a sold-out concert. Jeannette (Bea Santos, definitely her real name) is a hard-working single mother and part-time interior designer caught red-handed replacing a broken vase by a home owner who’s literally never been home before. It’s Zane of course, reclaiming his unoccupied home for a little peace and quiet, but Jeannette is too frazzled to keep up with latest gossip and fails to recognize him.

I’m not going to endorse it, but A Very Country Christmas deliver on its promise. It’s a Christmas movie, all right: there’s snow, royalty-free carols, and a romance where the only consummation is a kiss. As usual, he’s monstrously, life-transformingly rich but just wants to settle down and have a family, and has an unusually high tolerance for being strung along by a woman who won’t sleep with him.

A Very Country Christmas was filmed in Sean’s sorta hometown of Barrie, Ontario. Sean moved around a lot of as a kid but his family eventually settled there and many of them are still in the area today, possibly grabbing a Beau’s and some deep fried cheese curds at the Kenzington Burger Bar, which was featured in the film. Canada is increasingly cornering the market in crappy Christmas movies, and why not – we’ve got a perfect snowy backdrop here nearly year round.

3 thoughts on “A Very Country Christmas

  1. Orca Flotta

    I see what you did there, Jay. sacrificing yourself by watching crappy C-flicks so the rest of us don’t have to. Right? But no, you really, don’t have to, no no no. No selfrespecting part-time movie reviewer would watch those shitflicks anyway, so our self-sacrifice just goes *p00f completely unnoticed. 😮

    Okeee, look at me whistling a happy tune in the dark dungeon on my way to watch and review The Rise of Skywalker in two days time. 😦
    Jeeze, I’m afraid. Like really afraid.

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  2. ninvoid99

    A Very Country Christmas? EW!!!!! Not country music. It’s not even the good country music ala Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton, Loretta Lynn, and Willie Nelson. It’s that awful shit that people call country music. It’s so horrible and it’s also extremely depressing.

    I lost my girlfriend, she left for my brother. My pick-up truck just died on me. And my doggy just got ran over by a tractor. That’s the shit I usually hear in these country songs. Radiohead and Joy Division are depressing but they at least had a sense of imagination when it comes to their music. Country music today has no imagination. It sucks, it really fucking sucks.

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