Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We are gathered here today to commit the soul of Mr.Right to the ground, where it belongs.
I would venture to describe this particular failure as Natural Born Killers meets Girl, Interrupted meets When Harry Met Sally. Martha (Anna Kendrick) is on the rebound – hard – when she meets Mr. Right (Sam Rockwell). She proceeds to fall madly in love with him despite a few little red flags, namely 1) he throws knives at her head 2) he won’t tell her his name 3) is that a clown 
nose in his pocket? 4) he’s always joking about killing people 5) oh right he actually is a serial killer. And it turns out he’s the catch in the relationship! Martha goes full-blown manic and makes such disastrously, impossibly bad decisions that you wish you had a knife or two to throw at her yourself.
The most infuriating thing about this movie is that you’ll see small glimmers of what it could have been. Potential! It has some, particularly the Sam Rockwell bits. But some little toot who flatters himself that he’s a writer (Max Landis) has instead jizzed laziness and banality all over it. You know what, Max Landis? There is a line between “quirky” and “makes no sense” and you crossed it so long ago you’re now in “trying so hard it hurts” territory. I’m no fan of Anna Kendrick’s but I actually felt sorry for her; she’s basically forced to spend the second half of the
film acting like she was rode hard and put away wet.
So that’s why we’re mourning, folks. I’m an Asshole. I can sit here and rip movies apart all day long and still have energy leftover for TV, radio DJs, and my in-laws. But this movie didn’t have to be bad. But with writing that makes me want to bash my head on my desk until reconstruction is a medical necessity, it’s hard not to call it the bloated, farting corpse that it is. If I was the mortician, maybe this stiff could have been gussied up. I do have some ideas, called reason, logic, and funny jokes, but that’s just be brain-storming off the top of my pretty little head. Oh, and a lot less Anna Kendrick trying so hard to be adorable it’s like nails on a chalkboard. Weird that the director didn’t think of those things himself though, right? Isn’t that kind of your job, Paco Cabezas? Yeah, that’s right, I’m calling people out. There’s no excuse to waste a possibly entertaining premise and turn it into a puddle of suck. Sam Rockwell deserves better, and frankly, so do I.
ASSHOLES WATCHING MOVIES 
I can’t be the only one who can’t stand Anna Kendrick.
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You definitely aren’t.
https://assholeswatchingmovies.com/2015/05/28/annoying-as-fuck/
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Hehe. Horse Teeth.
I’m sure she’s a nice person and all!
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This movie fucking sucked.
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Jay, I loudly echo the above comments (because I’ll get fined if I fucking swear). Are there are good movies? I’m starting to implode.
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Once in a blue moon. There’s a lot of shit to sift through though.
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I always enjoy reading your reviews, not only because you’re a great writer, but because I love the wit that goes into them. This one sounds like a skipper. No problem there, since I already have way too many movies and shows lined up to watch. It used to be easier to keep up, but now with shows and movies available on every medium, so many slip through the cracks.
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I know. I don’t even try much with TV. Too much of a commitment for me and my schedule doesn’t really permit for regular weeknight viewing anyway – not that it’s how I’d want to spend my time. If I have down time at night I’d rather be reading – now my to-read pile, THAT’S daunting!
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Oh yes, the TBR list never seems to get dented.
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This premise doesn’t even sound good to me. Ah well. We’ve all got to have our Dear Gods, movies that we can use as our bottom-of-the-barrel comparisons.
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I just feel like it’s been mostly those lately, which is sad.
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I love how you framed this as a eulogy, that’s when you know a movie is well and truly bad
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If it was bad and knew it and embraced it, I’d let it off easier. But it’s always sad when a life is not lived to its potential, right?
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it’s exceptionally sad
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On the miss list of course, but I’m glad the film got made that bad just to read that review! 😀
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I love that I’m really seeing the “asshole” in you. Nice way to rip this one up. You manage to do it in a funny and very relatable way. Movie looks dumb and I sure as hell would be making snarky comments if I’d seen it. Lol!
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Great post 🙂 Although my comment really has nothing to do with this particular film, but have you ever seen a comedy by John Waters? His underground work like Pink Flamingos and Female Trouble are great and even his more mainstream work like Hairspray (1988) and Serial Mom are very good. Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂
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Thanks, John. As you can tell I definitely need a palette cleanser!
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Machine Gun Jay,
I can’t count how many bullet holes you put in this review…love that you swing a big stick now and again. What are your favorite Sam Rockwell films?
RR
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Moon!
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War has been declared. 🙂 Nothing more frustrating than good people being wasted on bad material.
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