A Canadian Duet, and no, I don’t mean Celine Dion and Ann Murray

I watched these two movies recently, and they’re only appearing in the same post because of their Canadian content.

Goon – I avoided this movie because it reminded me of Slap Shot, which came out before I was born and I’ve never seen but hate all the same because of my Mom’s ex-boyfriend. His name was Keith and he was a loser. He was a decade too young for her, two decades too immature, unemployed goon of course, lived with his parents, didn’t have friends but loved to hang out at the local hockey rink trying to get the kids to call him “Ogie”. No one ever did. He was probably borderline mentally challenged, now that I think about it. Anyway, he was a creep, and anything he touched, I’d be turned off of for years. So a lack of comedies about hockey didn’t strike me as a national tragedy, but it did to Jay Baruchel, so he and Evan Goldberg set about to adapting this book into a film treatment. I have mad love for Baruchel but it still wasn’t until a fellow blogger suggested that this movie wasn’t awful that I finally gave it a chance. Sean William Scott stars as a guy who isn’t good at anything except taking punches, and giving them. A scrap gets him noticed by a local hockey coach, who drafts him onto the team as an enforcer, and once he learns to skate, he joins Kim Coates’ (Tig, from Sons of Anarchy, if you’re bad with names like me) team in the minor hockey league where Liev Schreiber’s thug character has just been demoted from the NHL for remorselessly hitting one too many people. Baruchel also appears as a cable access TV personality and salty-tongued cheer leader, and Eugene Levy plays Scott’s disapproving father. The movie doesn’t exactly break new ground, but it’s a little smart and a little sweet, and it kind of works. A sequel is in the works, with Baruchel set to make his directorial debut.

Stories We Tell – This “documentary” is by Sarah Polley. Does her name mean anything outside of Canada? I grew up watching her as Ramona (we didn’t have proper cable, but my Aunt Joan would send me VHS cassettes in the mail, having taped the episodes diligently from TV. She also starred in Road to Avonlea, a Canadian classic though not exactly my style. And I was also lucky enough to catch her on the stage in Stratford, performing the lead role in Alice Through The Looking Glass. More recently she’s known for having directed Away From Her (which got her an Oscar nom for adapted screenplay) and Take This Waltz. Stories We Tell is her first full-length documentary, though I hesitate to call in that because she really experiments with the form, incorporating re-enactments meant to look like home video, and she cleverly pieces together narrative from several different sources, highlighting the discrepancies in our memories and perceptions. It basically investigates a family rumour that Sarah’s dad is not her biological father. Her mother, who could easily put this argument to rest, died when Sarah was 11. You’d have to see it for yourself, because I’m still not sure if she so carefully protects her family out of compassion or narcissism, but either way it’s compelling.

Sarah Polley apparently turned down the role of Penny Lane in Almost Famous, but you know who did appear in that movie? Jay Baruchel! There you go. Full ciricle. Have you seen either of these? Who is your favourite Canadian actor?

Filed Under M

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The Man From U.N.C.L.E. – Guy Ritchie wanted to make a spy movie that was “sexy, fun, and frivolous”, harkening back to the Roger Moore era of James Bond. He got the frivolous part right. This movie doesn’t mean much. It’s got some very charismatic stars, none of whom are served well by the material, and none of whom can pull off an accent as well as they think they can (Alicia Vikander sounds Irish more than German). It tends toward flippant rather than funny. It is very stylish (and stylized), I’ll give it that, but that’s a lot of money to put on a retro fashion show. However, if you’re one of those people who love a vacuous spy movie with no action or suspense, then boy has your time come.

Max – We never would have seen this movie on purpose but it was the second movie in a double-bill at the drive-in, so that explains why we were there, though not why we stayed. We stayed mostly for the people-watching, as it turned out, since the couple in the car beside us were topless, the better for him to expunge the blackheads from her back, while their interior lights are on, for all the world to see. It really made me reflect on how I might multi-task while at the drive-in. Suggestions? My only suggestion to you is to skip this movie. Lauren Graham and Thomas Haden Church play a good old flag-waving, down home American couple who make the ultimate sacrifice for their country. Their eldest son dies in Iraq, and his service dog gets decommissioned from the army (sorry, marines) and comes to stay with them, to be loved and trained (and healed!) by the angry younger son. The army honours its strong tradition of turning its back on veterans with PTSD, even when that vet is a dog who just wants to serve his country and retire in peace and kibble. Convoluted plot devices ensue to really bring this family together in their grief, with heavy doses of patriotic piety that I found hard to swallow. Makes you proud to be Murican I guess. A country song plays over a memorial to dead wartime dogs at the end.

Mortdecai – I think this movie was a bet. I think someone just decided to see how much weird they could cram into a movie, as long as that weird was uninteresting and unremarkable. I was embarrassed for the simpering Johnny Depp, and for his mustache.

Against the Crowd

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Wendell at Dell On Movies has proposed this inspired idea for a blogathon: Against the Crowd. Basically, you name one movie that you love even though everyone else hates it, and one movie that everyone loves but you actually hate. I’m already licking my lips in anticipation! Thanks, Wendell, for letting us play!

Sean’s picks:

One I love that everyone else hates: Night at the Roxbury (11% on Rotten Tomatoes’ Tomatometer) – Honestly, if you hate this movie, I don’t want to know you. It’s wonderful. It’s so funny and kind of sweet and somehow all came together out of a one-note SNL skit. It’s pure genius, like seriously, the wedding scene is the best possible way to break up your brother’s wedding to Molly Shannon. And casting Richard Greico as himself, and then having him give life advice to Dan Hedaya? Simply amazing.

One I hate that everyone else loves: Life of Pi (87% on the Tomatometer) – After reading the book, the movie was such a let-down, and somehow it still got a best picture nod? You know, I’m not much of a reader but this book is one for the ages and the movie simply does not do it justice, and butchers the end reveal which absolutely defines the book and makes you want to immediately read it again.

Jay’s picks:

One I love that everyone else hates: Mixed Nuts (7% on the Tomatometer) – This movie is not well-known, so let me paint you a picture: a small group of counsellors are running a crisis line on Christmas Eve while facing down joblessness (hello, funding cuts!), clients with no boundaries (but a transgendered Liev Schrieber does a mean tango), and of course, loads of their own personal shit. The counsellors include Steve Martin, Rita Wilson, and the esteemed Madeline Kahn. So when a certain counsellor (namely, myself) goes to work at her own crisis line on Christmas Eve, the blow is made that much softer by watching this movie that makes me feel just a little less alone, and a little more merry. The jokes are as cornball as they come, but once a year I want to see Adam Sandler play his ukulele, Jon Stewart get road rage on rollerblades, Garry Shandling dress as a Christmas tree, Anthony LaPaglia get high on tranquilizers meant for dogs. Is that so weird?

One I hate that everyone else loves: Can I possibly pick just one? Sean suggested “any thing comic book” which is almost but not quite true (maybe more “anything super hero” but even that’s not fair, because a couple have transcended the genre but otherwise, yes, I’m tired, and they’re clichéd and over-reliant on CGI), and then “anything franchise” which again is almost but not quite true – and I don’t think it’s fair for me to pick Lord of the Rings or Star Wars Or Hunger Games because the truth is, I haven’t seen them. I just hate them on principle. So I’m left with two movies that will assuredly get me into hot water: The Hurt Locker (98% on the Tomatometer), and 12 Years A Slave (96%). I hate them both for basically the same reason: while I wouldn’t say either is bad, I’d say both are derivative and listless. I’ve seen better, more memorable movies in both their respective genres. However, I suspect these particular movies garnered their excessive attention from the Academy for reasons other than strictly merit. And that’s really frustrating. I saw The Hurt Locker almost immediately upon release and was like: “meh.” I don’t like Jeremy Renner. I’m pretty sure this movie was supposed to be suspenseful but when you spend the whole time thinking, “God, why won’t he just die already”, it sort of cooks the goose. And I know it’s a proud American tradition to demonize one’s enemies, but the situation in Iraq was so much more complex than this movie knows how to give it credit for. It has no point of view. Yes, dismantling a bomb is a gruelling job. But where are these bombs coming from? Who is making them – and why? This movie wants to be important but congratulates itself for being “apolitical” when political context is exactly what’s needed. 12 Years A Slave I watched before the Oscars of course, but late enough after its release that I’d heard all the hype and went in believing it. There is one scene, one particular scene, where he is left hanging from a tree, with his toes just barely brushing the ground, left there for hours, constantly on the verge of death, and worse still (for me, the viewer anyway), all the other slaves witnessing this scene yet completely helpless to do anything about it – fuck. That scene went on WAY too long, which was exactly the right amount of way too long because it makes us the right amount of crazy uncomfortable. That scene was the only redeeming moment in the whole 12 years. The rest was torture porn, every bit as exploitative of Django Unchained was accused of being, only without Tarantino’s style. Chiwetel Ejiofor is sublime, communicating so much with his eyes – but he has to. The script sure isn’t giving him much more than the same trite lines that have already been recited. In fact, it almost feels like this movie belongs to the villains – Fassbender has the juiciest bits, that’s for sure. McQueen is intent on making us flinch, making this film feel like a slavery-themed edition of the Saw series. The Academy awarded what should have been a movie of hard truths, but in reality it was just hard to watch. (Dear white people: hating this movie doesn’t make you racist!) The gruesome images served to shock people into forgetting there was no emotional complexity here. And even if there was, it would come to a screeching halt with the Brad Pitt stunt-casting. How is it even possible to over-dramatize a movie about slavery? McQueen finds a way. I’ve read Solomon Northrup’s 12 Years a Slave and you know what? The material deserved a better treatment.

What about your picks? Half as juicy as mine?

p.s. Matt – you’re it!

Terminator: Genisys

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There were already a lot of strikes against this movie and then to add insult to injury, I had to double check the “correct” spelling of Genisys. The agony this movie is inflicting on me seems endless. And with that, I have tipped my hand as to how this review is going to end.

Terminator: Genisys is a complete mess, which sadly has been a recurring theme for this franchise over the last 20 years. So in that regard, I can understand why rebooting it makes sense, particularly since the original Judgment Day was in 1997, so when that came and went it made the franchise feel a little dated.

But the way they handled the reboot just trampled all over the first two films, which I still consider to be two of the best sci-fi movies of all time (with the second one being one of my all-time favourite movies period, having seen it at least 25 times because when 14-year-old me was in a hotel for a swim meet one weekend, I figured out how to watch pay-per-view for free, so had this movie on repeat every minute I was in the room). I’m not even sure if I need to be careful with the big twist, since James Cameron spoiled it for me repeatedly in Cineplex’s pre-show.

Without even referring specifically to it I may still give it away. My complaint is simple: somehow someone decided that a good plot twist would be to do something to one of the franchise’s main characters that renders every movie to date, including this one, totally irrelevant. I have no idea why that ever seemed like a good plan. Sure, it makes it easy to put a new timeline in place going forward, but even if that was the plan, the movie fails as a reboot because the ending leaves us with no momentum whatsoever and no reason to anticipate the next movie in the series (if there even is one after this debacle).

I often complain about reboots and, in particular, rehashes of origin stories as a reboot mechanism. Well, this reboot mechanism is worse. And that has me really shaking my head in disbelief, that somehow they found a way to be worse than the lazy reboots, because it seems they did really try with this one. Unfortunately, it’s just so misguided and so unfaithful to what has come before that it offends me. It brings me almost to the level of hatred I had for the Star Wars prequels. Terminator and Terminator 2 were movies I absolutely loved as a teenager and basically, this movie is the equivalent of Skynet sending a robot back to 1991 to repeatedly punch me in the groin while I was watching T2 for the first time, thereby changing the course of history and preventing me from ever liking it. And this time, the robots won.

I’m not even giving this a rating. I’m too angry.

What About Bob

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Bob (Bill Murray), a needy neurotic and narcissist, is thrown for a loop when his therapist (Richard Dreyfuss) goes on vacation. Unable and unwilling to take no for an answer, Bob tracks Dr. Leo to his lakeside cottage and imposes himself the family.

Sean and I are off to the cottage this weekend and we intend to have a lot more relaxation and a lot less surprise guests. Of course, if a client of mine did show up unexpectedly, it wouldn’t go quite like it does in the movie. Bob is not charismatic, he’s obnoxious and self-centered. And sure Dr. Leo’s a dick, but Bob could be dangerous and has already proven himself to be a liar and a stalker. Not only is it inappropriate for Bob to show up, it’s also strictly against the rules. I would be calling the cops. Sean would not be bonding with him under any circumstance. This movie really riles me up in between bouts of cracking me up.

While I find this movie professionally disturbing, I also find it hilarious, because: Bill Murray. I love Bill Murray. He’s kind of an ass, and impenetrable, and yet somehow I adore him. He has weird methods on-set, rewriting lines and improv-ing, which tends to get the goats of a lot of his co-stars (Richard Dreyfuss famously included, plus Chevy Case, Richard Donner, Lucy Liu, and McG, who claims Murray head-butted him; Dan Aykroyd would nickname him The Murricane for such behaviour). He took a circuitous path to comedy, attending college for pre-med but then dropping out after being arrested for marijuana possession. He then ended up doing National Lampoon Radio Hour with Dan Aykroyd, Gilda Radner, and John Belushi, and eventually met back up with them on SNL as well. He was a bankable comedy star throughout the 80s and 90s, and then reinvented his career more recently as a dramatic actor, taking on roles where he’s often cynical or depressed (or both!) rather than the flat-out nuts of What About Bob.

Bill Murray is a Hollywood Luddite – he has no agent, and no business manager. Pete Docter wanted him for the voice of Sulley in Monsters, Inc. but had no way of contacting him and had to move on. Murray went on to voice Garfield instead because he was anxious to work with the Coen brothers. Sound fishy? You’re right. The script is co-written by a Joel Cohen, but not that Joel Coen. A business manager may have sussed that out. He’s also missed out on roles in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, The Squid and the Whale, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Little Miss Sunshine – the latter being the only one he regrets.

Bill Murray is an icon with legendary status among his many fans. An entire website is dedicated to telling the best Bill Murray stories. He’s elusive but if you catch him on the right day, he can be surprisingly engaging. He has inspired all kinds of tributes, from the Bill Murray colouring book my sister sent me for Christmas, to Cook Your Own Food – A Bill Murray Scratch And Sniff , which depicts the sights and smells of various Murray movies.

So while I’d freak out of Bob showed up at the cottage, Bill I’d welcome with a glass of scotch and open arms. Wouldn’t you?

Where Talent Blooms

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I recently had the good fortune to come across an interesting Kickstarter campaign (Kickstarter is a site for crowd funding – where people can pitch their bright ideas, and their projected budget, and you can choose to back them with your own hard-earned dollars, or not). The campaign was launched by a local film maker who already has a couple of well-received short films under her belt, and, having toured the festival circuit and left with awards, is eager to do her next film up right. And did I mention she’s only 16?

Matt, Sean and I are blown away by the obvious potential in her work. There’s a lot of insight and maturity that’s evident already, especially in a short entitled Gifts, and we’re so excited to see where she takes her work next. Kickstarter allows us to throw even just a couple of dollars her way and feel like we’re contributing to her vision. A long time ago, wealthy patrons would back artists with their support, encouragement, and financial aid, which allowed those artists to concentrate on their work without worrying about supporting themselves by other means. The Renaissance was famous for its patrons – the Medici family alone gave patronage to the Ninja Turtles among others (Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael – well, you get the picture). Today, we’re able to offer our support as a community (assuming none of you are from an elite political dynasty) and actually help foster the things we claim to support: young talent, creativity, and a strong female voice for the next generation that the movie industry so desperately needs. And isn’t it kind of cool to get in on the ground floor. I mean, we could be talking about the next Tarantino here, and wouldn’t you like to be able to say that you spotted her first? If you’re interested in contributing, every little bit helps, and her campaign can be found here. And without further ado, let’s hear from this talented film maker herself, Ms. Morgana McKenzie: director, editor, cinematographer, voice of tomorrow.

Ms. McKenzie took some time out of her busy schedule (she’s already in rehearsals for her upcoming film, Ellie) to answer some of our questions. In this particular interview we’ll be discussing a previous short film of hers called Gifts that you can watch by visiting this link. Ms. McKenzie made this film when she was 14 years old and garnered her tonnes of well-deserved awards, among them best thriller at CineYouth, best editing at ASK Film Festival, and best emerging female filmmaker at NFFTY (which also came with a scholarship to prodigy camp). You’ll be blown away by Gifts, and the rest of her catalogue is even more intriguing though they aren’t available for public viewing yet because they’re still making the festival rounds. You might want to use that link now to watch it before reading the interview because it does contain some spoilers.

Matt: Gifts is an engaging short film that features, among other things, a very well-executed murder scene that literally made me jump. Your POV approach kept the tension high as I was always a little afraid of what might be lurking just outside the character’s field of vision. What can you tell us about where the idea for this story came from? How do you go about building suspense with such a limited budget and non-professional actors?

Ms. McKenzie: I originally had the idea for two much more complicated shorts; one involving two worlds joined by water, and the other involving a POV sequence. These were too complex and not doable, so the idea came to mix the two shorts, making one. Writing and scrapping drafts ensued, and eventually I was left with GIFTS!

Suspense was important to me given that I didn’t have professional actors or equipment. I worked hard to do the best that I could with what I had for equipment, but I knew the suspense would be what would carry the story. I really tried to tackle that in the writing process, making sure that every bit of information being put out was for a reason and would ultimately move the story forward.

Matt: Most of us don’t take the time to commit to a two-hour movie without learning a little something about it first. Either they’ve seen a preview or they’ve read a review or at least looked at the poster. Short films are unique in that it’s quite common to go into it with no idea what we’re in for. For me, this made witnessing an ambush within the first few seconds of Gifts
even more disarming. Are you eager for the chance to make feature-length films or are you enjoying the unique storytelling opportunities offered by short films?

Ms. McKenzie: I am definitely interested to make feature-length films! I think it would be interesting to explore a longer form of storytelling and be able to experiment with expanding some of my current ideas. At the same time, I enjoy making short films, and am not in any sort of hurry to make my first feature. I see a lot of youth filmmakers in a rush to make their first feature, and while I understand the worry of getting it out there, I would rather take my time exploring short form storytelling while I can. I’m more interested in building a portfolio of work I’m proud of, while planning out my ideas for a feature.

Matt: Most of the short films I’ve seen fall into the category of either the Animated or the Arty. Is there a whole sub-genre of horror\thrill shorts that I’m not aware of?

Ms. McKenzie: Definitely! Some of the festivals I’ve attended like NFFTY and CineYouth have film screenings solely dedicated to the horror/thriller genre, and CineYouth even has a junior and senior award for “Best Thriller”. There’s a large network of filmmakers within that as well. Gigi Saul Guerrero for example has had a short in NFFTY’s “Edge of Your Seat” screening for years, and she’s now working on developing a feature based on her short “El Gigante”. It’s a cool genre to be a part of, and you definitely meet some cool people within it.

Jay: Is film something you want to pursue as a career, or more of a passion? How did this fascination with making your own movies start? What films\filmmakers have influenced you the most?

Ms. McKenzie: Film is something I will pursue as a career. It started as an interest after watching JJ Abrams’ film “Super 8”, but then as I explored making short films and became more experienced, I knew it was something I wanted to pursue long-term. Shows like Breaking Bad and True Detective that have an ongoing feeling of suspense and wonder have strongly influenced my work. I gravitate towards suspense and non linear storytelling. Individual people that have influenced me range from Ray Bradbury, Reed Morano, David Lynch, Vince Gilligan, Roger Deakins and the Coen Brothers.

Matt: You’ve had your films screened at several festivals around the world and have been fortunate enough to attend at least a few of them. What’s it been like to meet so many other young filmmakers and how do you think it’s influenced the way you make movies?

Ms. McKenzie: Meeting other youth filmmakers has been amazing. I’m able to network with other people my age that have the same interests as me, have someone to bounce ideas off of, and have a friendship at the same time. It allows you to have someone you can count on in filmmaking and in life.

Matt: What can you tell us about Ellie, which you begin shooting at the end of the month?

Ms. McKenzie: Ellie was originally meant to be done a year ago at Prodigy Camp, a camp based just outside of Seattle. I wrote it working with Emmy award-winning script mentor John Jacobsen, and had cast Nathan Gamble (The Mist, The Dark Knight) as the lead. Because the script was too long to shoot in the three-hour block given, complications with my DP, and almost everything else going wrong, I wasn’t able to finish shooting.

Now, I can start over with Ellie, here in Ottawa. It’s the first time I’ve hired union actors. ACTRA has been really supportive, and Ilona Smyth (Smyth Casting) made the casting process really enjoyable. I’ve also increased the quality of my equipment, and I’m ready to take a step forward with my filmmaking. This film can do that.

Matt: Earlier this year at the National Film Festival for Talented Youth (NFFTY), you got the
chance to speak about your experience as a female filmmaker. What’s it been like for you as a female filmmaker?

Ms. McKenzie: I get asked this question a lot and have a hard time answering it because it’s not
something I often think about. I’m aware it’s an issue and a big problem in the industry, but I haven’t felt the effect personally (probably because I haven’t worked professionally yet). I do get frustrated with the label of a female filmmaker. You don’t see females in other professions being labeled “female doctor” or “female fireman”, it seems ridiculous, doesn’t it?

I frequently see people surprised about the amount of dark material in my work. Maybe people expect to see themes from a teenage female filmmaker that involve romance, or butterflies and fairies. But those themes don’t interest me, unless of course the fairy is out to murder wolves, then we’re talking.

Jay: Last year you were able to attend prodigy camp thanks to a scholarship from NFFTY. What did you learn while at camp, and how do you see your education in film making continuing?

Ms. McKenzie: I learned so much at Prodigy Camp. I loved playing different crew roles on other campers films. You end up learning so much from the other kids and DP’s while on set. I as well learned the value of being able to connect with your crew. In this case, I was not able to connect with my DP, so decision-making was very difficult, especially under the tight three hour shooting window we were given. This was one of the reasons I wasn’t able to complete Ellie at Prodigy Camp, but it was a good learning experience for me on the importance of being able to connect with your crew.

I want to continue expanding my knowledge in film. For post high school, my current plan is to apply to the Canadian Film Centre (CFC) for their six month intensive directing or editing program. But, my plan for after high school changes often. My backup plan is to take a gap year to work and build more of my portfolio.

Jay: How do you perceive the film making culture here in Ottawa? Do you think Canadians have to be in Hollywood in order to be successful in the movie industry?

Ms. McKenzie: The filmmaking culture in Ottawa is good! Not as major as other places in Canada like Toronto, but we definitely have great local production companies like Zed Filmworks and Affinity, as well as resources like SAW Video for training and equipment rentals.

The youth indie film culture in Ottawa is what’s lacking. There are fewer opportunities for teenage or youth filmmakers to collaborate because it’s a smaller community, so you end up working alone on most things.

At the same time, I don’t think we as Canadians need to be in Hollywood to be successful. Indie filmmaking is such a big thing nowadays, and there are so many other resources you can go to that aren’t related to Hollywood.

Jay: Who are your biggest champions and supports as you pursue your dream?

Ms. McKenzie: I’m extremely fortunate to be able to have some extremely supportive parents. They are definitely one of my biggest supporters in film, assisting me in any way possible. We joke that they only do it so I’m obligated to put them in a nice home later.

Aside from immediate family, I’ve met some really amazing people through film in places like Seattle and New Jersey. These are the people that I can go to for read over of my latest script, but I also consider them to be close friends and seek their advice on life in general. We are all trying to reach the same goal, and all support each other in any way possible to make sure we can get there. I like that a lot.

As you can see, Morgana McKenzie is not only a talented film maker, but a thoughtful and well-spoken young woman too. We’re really proud to have gotten to know her a bit and hope you’ve enjoyed it as well. Her Kickstarter campaign is still in high gear, and I urge you again to think about giving. I know we are a community of film lovers, and this is a great way to express it and contribute to it.

If you have any questions for Ms. McKenzie, leave them in the comments. Let us know what you thought of her work. Do you admire any other film makers in the short-film oeuvre? Do you know any other “prodigies”? We look forward to hearing from all of you, and we hope to bring you more news of Ms. McKenzie’s as her career continues.

Movies With Devastating Crushing Endings That Make You Want to Weep

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Sorry to arrive a few hours late to this unusually sad edition of Thursday Movie Picks, hosted by Wandering Through the shelves. Since I’m posting this late, I’ll get right down to it but I will mention that, given the topic, I will be making no effort from here on to avoid spoilers.

Citizen Kane (1941)– Often called the greatest American film of all time, Citizen kane may have one of the saddest and most profound endings I’ve ever seen. Most people know by now that Rosebud was the sled. a dying rich man who had everything he could ever want except for the ability to really connect with another person calling out for his childhood, wishing he could do it all over again, is just plain tragic. I don’t think there’s a single silver lining in this movie.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)– There’s a bit of a silver lining here. Chief does make a break for freedom after all. But poor Jack. He was so full of life throughout the movie and had such a rebellious spirit. He’s finally broken though and the only relief he gets is when Chief euthanizes him. Depressing stuff.

Blue Valentine (2010)– Watching Dean and Cindy’s marraige fall apart along with the sweet excitement of new love when they first met is depressing enough. When we start to realize that it’s the things that brought them together that are now tearing them apart, the whole thing seems inevitable and tragic. When Dean and Cindy are played with such raw honesty by Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, it’s just plain heartbreaking. And when it was released just two months after my own marraige fell apart, it felt personal.

The Wolfpack

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This is a documentary featuring a crackpot couple of parents and the 7 children they’ve home school and raised in near-complete isolation. The family lives in a 4-bedroom apartment in Manhattan and have rarely left it. The kids are totally ignorant of the world outside their windows, but spend their time looking at another screen – their television. Enamoured with movies, they seem to have saved themselves from the nuthouse by finding a creative outlet in faithfully recreating their favourite movies.

They write scripts literally by taking long-hand dictation from the movie, one line at a time, and then typing it up with an ancient typewriter. They make astounding costumes and props using notebook paper and cardboard but end up with a product so realistic the police raided them on a gun charge.

It’s hard to watch this movie because this crazy way of life was imposed by a father who apparently hates the country that is feeding and housing him (he “shows his rebellion” by not working, although he would make an exception for a recording contract, (so obviously his beliefs are quite sincere) and has infected his family with such a pervasive feeling of paranoia that neither his wife nor children met with the outside world for 14 years.

When the 6 boys are finally old enough to venture out, everything is new and strange and bright; maybe too bright. Everything appears to be suddenly “3D” to them, and when they see trees up close and glorious, they can only compare them to a forest they’ve seen in Lord of the Rings.

The kids are well-spoken and capable – despite, not because of their upbringing. They are fiercely protective of their mother who has fostered their creativity and seems to have been abused and subjugated by her husband right alongside her children.

The father remains a blurry presence in the life of his family, and within the documentary. He appears occasionally but seems to know he’s this movie’s villain. Worse still, the 7th child, a sister, is nearly completely ignored.

The boys met film maker Crystal Moselle by chance on one of their first outings as a group. A film student, the 6-pack of brothers with waist-long hair, dark suits and Raybans caught her eye, and she’s followed them ever since. Their world is definitely fascinating, and at times frustrating (like it or not, they’ve caught their father’s paranoia) but unfortunately, this documentary doesn’t have much to say. Yes, this was a crazy upbringing, a crazy life – but so what? Moselle doesn’t seem to have a point to make. And while I found this to be an eminently interesting watch, it wasn’t an enlightening one.

I second that emotion!

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Conman had such a cool idea for a blogathon that I couldn’t resist – here’s my last-minute entry into the Emotion Blogathon from the most emotional mess on the planet, and for balance, Sean-the-Robot’s picks as well. Joy: The movie that makes me smile the most? Can I say my wedding video? No? A real movie? Okay then. The movies that make me giggle the most are Hamlet 2 (the always-hilarious Steve Coogan is a failed actor-turned drama teacher who writes a brilliant sequel to Hamlet) and Eagle Vs Shark (Jemaine Clement plays an irredeemable weirdo; the wit is dry and unapologetic). The movies that make me happy are Singing in the Rain (I’ve never remained seated while watching it. It’s infectious.) and Billy Elliot (oh, no theme there at all). The movie that puts a song in my heart is Up. Gets me every damn time. The movie that gives me that Fuck yeah! feeling is Big Fish.

Sean’s pick: Amelie – there’s something about this movie that makes me feel hopeful, not just one thing, repeatedly, over and over, it captures something raw about us.We are at our best when we do good and help each other, just for the sake of it, and sometimes we forget that.

Sadness: Which movies has made me cry the most? All Dogs Go to Heaven was probably the first to turn me into a giant puddle of weepery. In grade 7 I turned purple and had to lock myself in a bathroom stall in school when we watched The Outsiders. And we’d just finished the book so I knew what was coming. The Last Kiss (Zach Braff cheats on his wife with Rachel Bilson and then regrets it and tries to win her back) had me totally choked up when I unknowingly watched it during the throes of my horrible divorce. Furious 7 reduced me to tears on numerous occasions just thinking of the movie or hearing that damn song on the radio for weeks after I saw it – I’m not proud of that, but in my defense, I did lose 2 very close friends to car accidents and that movie seems to have triggered a lot of grief for me.

Sean’s pick: Big Fish – this is a movie that exemplifies “good sad” which I didn’t even know existed for the first 25 years of my life. Billy Crudup’s story of how his dad dies is hands down the finest cinematic expression of the love between a father and son.

(I think it’s sweet how we overlap on happy\sad)

Anger: A movie that fills me with rage and inspires Jay-Hulk to rip off my shirt and rant for ages? Well, that’s probably like every second movie I’ve ever seen, come to think of it. 40 Days and 40 Nights (that Josh Hartnett one where he tries to be celibate for 40 days) really makes me seethe because the dude gets straight-up raped in the movie, only nobody calls it that because he’s a guy, and the rapist is a woman. I literally think steam comes out of my ears. 50 Shades of Grey makes me livid and I haven’t even seen it. But I can’t believe we’re allowing this to exist, this dumbing down of society, and this glamourization of an abusive relationship. Thanks, 50 Shades, for setting us back about 65 years! And you know who really steams my broccoli? That Michael Bay. Does anyone so consistently annoy the shit out of me by making steaming piles of crap? Michael Fucking Bay!

Sean’s pick: The Amazing Spiderman – if you reboot a superhero franchise, don’t rehash the origin story in the reboot. It’s lazy and terrible and makes me angry. The only way Chris Nolan got away with it was by capturing the essence of the classic “Batman: Year One” storyline, but I can’t think of any other situation where that would work. So please, none of these origin stories are complicated, just do it in the opening credits and get to the good stuff, i.e., the conflict between our hero and one of his/her (though let’s be honest, it’s always his) classic villains.

Fear: The movie that scared the bejesus out of movie? Precious. That got under my skin. No horror movie will ever bother me half as much as the degradation of a human being. Children of Men made me fear for the future. Man Bites Dog made me fear for our souls. The Act of Killing made me fear for the human race. Complete lack of empathy. I mean, wtf. Boys Don’t Cry can probably go into that same category. Hotel Rwanda. Like, I’m just sad for humanity for days.

Sean’s pick: Friday the 13th – As a kid before I even saw the movie (but knew the basic concept) I was terrified of killers in the woods at camp because of this movie and its (first few) sequels. Especially at night, when I was walking through a wooded area at camp, I would be freaking out.

Disgust: This is my favouritest emotion ever and I’m full of cringes and upturning of my cute-as-a-button nose. How can I ever pick just one? I’m disgusted by just about any movie that’s a waste of space. I famously reenacted nearly every scene of 2012 when I was flummoxed as to how such a terrible movie ever got made. And I feel that way of about a third of the movies ever made. So that’s a lot. I’m also disgusted by anything poopy or farty (I’m looking at you, Bridesmaids). Even toilet humour. Oh god. And that scene in Big Daddy where the kid spits this big long string and then slurps it back up? I have to go take a shower just from writing that. And that blonde chick in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist who just will not throw out that revolting piece of gum to save her life (or more realistically, MINE). And obviously anything eye-related. I have to actually turn away, and when Sean tells me it’s safe, I’m like, are you SURE? Because no. Not even. And Minority Report seems to have been made solely to make me squirm. Tom Cruise gets his eyeballs swapped out in a crude and unsanitary procedure, and then goes on to blindly eat THE MOST DISGUSTING THINGS IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE. I’m making retching noises right now and I bet if you listen carefully, you can hear them wherever you are.

Sean’s pick: Pixels – The feeling when you hope for a return to form and then receive the laziest possible effort from a guy who used to have his finger on the pulse of a generation, and more egregiously, the exact generation who remembers the greatness of pac-man and donkey kong and centipede.

All right. We’ve fessed up, so now it’s your turn. What movies would you pick? And if you’ve participated, be sure to leave us your link!

Southpaw

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Jake Gyllenhaal plays a boxer who hits a very hard bottom. He’s at the top of the game when the film begins, but when his head and his heart aren’t in it, he very quickly loses everything he has. He barely notices losing the cars, blinks lazily as the contents of his home are removed for auction, tries to be philosophical about the foreclosure of his multi-million dollar home, and contributes in the banishment of friends, and it’s only when they take his daughter that he breaks. His daughter is removed by child services from his custody and is sent to live in the very same system that he grew up in, and suddenly he realizes that he has to mobilize to win her back.

He turns to grizzled, reluctant trainer Tick Wills (Forest Whitaker) for help. As a boxer, Billy Hope has spent his life defending punches with is face, but that’s not enough to face down the current competition (who may also be the instrument of his undoing). Tick teaches him a more patient and thoughtful way to fight, which – lo and behold – turns out to be a great metaphor for life too.

I thought Gyllenhaal was fantastic. His performance was all meat and muscle. But the script was limp. Matt and I punched lots of holes into the story while sitting in the parking lot while Sean bought dog food, but it wasn’t just that the writing was too loose, it was also riddled with sports cliché. And we’ve already seen that movie, the boxing match as redemption. Kurt Sutter (of Sons of Anarchy fame) has nothing new to add, and director Antoine Fuqua seems to have a pretty light touch, unless they were literally going for Most Tragedies Inexplicably Overcome.

So while I believed Gyllenhaal, I wasn’t convinced by the script. It keeps pounding us relentlessly with heaps of depressing shit and it’s hard to earn any modicum of triumph after such an onslaught. It’s gritty as fuck but then it chickens out. And just looking at Gyllenhaal, how committed he is to this role, how hard he’s trying, you feel bad that everyone’s let him down and this just never gets to be the movie it maybe could have been. Sean felt that the boxing bits were pretty extraordinary, and it showed how Jake had worked his little buns off to get into such tough fighting shape (although noticeably fought right-handed save for one notable left-handed uppercut, says Sean, who was really irked by that the movie would be called Southpaw, which literally means a left-handed boxer, and then not pay attention to which hand is the dominant fighting hand. I myself did not notice such a thing because I’m sports-deficient).

I think it’s worth a rental just to watch Gyllenhaal, who is definitely on fire and making bold, interesting choices in his career. But the truth is I’d rather watch him any day in creepy Nightcrawler than watch this movie, with its bevy of eye injuries (and you may remember I’m a strict eye-phobe, which means I only watched about 40% of this movie since every time his eye bleeds, my vision goes blurry) and the physical and emotional blunt force trauma that’s just so goddamned brutal to watch.