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Interview with Horror Makeup FX artist Ashley Robinson

Little Linda Blair, tiny star of The Exorcist, didn’t roll up to the set in her mom’s station wagon, fresh from a spelling test and a bologna sandwich, looking all demonically possessed. Someone had to paint her that way. Doing makeup special effects is someone’s job.

Meet Ashley Robinson, an emerging Canadian freelance SFX artist and a filmmaker in her own right. You might expect that someone who creates stab wounds all day would be a little bit twisted – and you’d be right. Matt and I had the chance recently to not only sit down with Ashley but to undergo “the process” and it turns out that not only is Ms. Robinson incredibly interesting, self-taught, and artistic, she’s funny as hell too.

Jay: So how did you get into this line of work?

FX1Ashley: I started by working with my brother (Andrew JD Robinson, founder of WORKOBEY Films). I’ve been his go-to makeup effects consultant for whatever project he is working on for some time now. It’s only recently I have decided to dabble more into the gore FX and showcase my creations on social media. [You can find her on Instagram @ash_fx] At the moment I’m working exclusively for his production as well as whatever project I have up my sleeve, but am open to expanding in the future if the timing is good and the right project comes along.

Jay: What kind of work is available for you in Ottawa?

Ashley: Indie films, Halloween events, building a photographer’s portfolio, etc. are all different opportunities for an FX artist. Ventures like that can exist anywhere; you just might have to dig a little deeper in some areas.

Jay: Were you a creepy kid? What I mean is – did you make your dolls look like monsters? Give your friends gruesome makeovers? Look at books of accident photos?

Ashley: If filming a feature-length called “Slaughterhouse” with my Barbie dolls (blood pumps and all) is considered strange…then yes.

Jay: What’s more fun – to make someone look beautiful or hideous?FX2

I think there is something beautiful about transforming someone once attractive into what we view as repulsive or ugly. It requires a type of vulnerability to welcome others’ disgust.

Jay: What kind of reference materials do you use for inspiration?

Ashley: Depending on the type of wound that I am interested in creating, I will research real images. This can be really gut-wrenching. Nothing beats the real thing though. Accuracy is the force behind a positive (aka disgusted) reaction.

Jay: Obviously there’s some artistry involved in the process as well. We know you write and direct films. Do you do other kinds of art ?

Ashley: I was definitely that quiet, weird, artistic girl in high school that doodled on every binder. Drawing, painting and writing have always been things I enjoyed. So I guess naturally the next step was disfigurement?

FX4Jay: What are some of your favorite makeup effects that you’ve created?

Ashley: One of my first attempts would have to be a favourite. It was cuts across the fingers using my homemade molding wax (which can be a pain to make yourself). I was proud I was able to blend it the way I did and thought it came out well for my first time.

Jay: Do you go all out for Halloween or is that too much like work for you?

Ashley: My go-to costume as a kid was always a witch- every single year. Surprisingly I haven’t gone all out for Halloween since then. But why mess with a classic?

Jay: What movie do you wish you could have worked on?

Ashley: I would have loved to been a part of ‘Excision’- in any way shape or form. The visual dream sequences, the blood…oh the blood. I just wish I had beaten them to it!

Jay: Were you a fan of horror first, or did that interest come as you started with the FX?

Ashley: I have lived and breathed horror since I was about 10 years old. My brother and I would somehow get away with renting stacks of VHS horror movies from a local video store down the street. Watching horror movies literally consumed the majority of my life growing up and still does to this day.

Jay: What actors or directors would you most like to work with?

Ashley: Eli Roth and Quentin Tarantino. They can make anyone look fucking cool.

Jay: In such a CGI-heavy time in the movie industry, do makeup effects still have a place?FX6

Ashley: When you look back at the 70’s and 80’s makeup FX, it is mesmerizing how artists, with their own hands and pure talent could create something so amazing. I believe they will always have a place in a true horror fan’s heart, but industry wise, I’m not so sure anymore. It’s a rat race to make the quickest dollar as opposed to creating as a fan for the fans. Animatronics are the shit. Stop Motion is the shit. CGI is just crap.

Jay: Does what you do ever affect you emotionally? Do you get nightmares?

Ashley: Gore FX is oddly therapeutic to me. If I’m having a stressful day at my full-time job for instance, I get excited with the thought of coming home and putting boils on my face…It’s like any hobby, it’s a great and fun distraction.

FX3Jay: What about this work do you think would surprise most audiences?

Ashley: Constantly coming up with new and innovative ways to throw your own spin on standard wounds can be challenging. In the end, a cut is a cut…but it’s a matter of how can I make this one stand out from the hundreds of others?

Jay: Is there any movie character or effect that you would have done differently? 

Ashley: Twilight. I think that says it all.

If you think Ashley’s work is pretty clever, wait till you see what she does with our FACES.

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Tips for Surviving Horror Movies if You’re A Chickenshit Like Me

October is a very divisive month: to scary movie, or not to scary movie. Some people just don’t tolerate horror very well, but it’s hard to avoid this time of year. So for those of you who would otherwise spend the whole time breathing noisily while staring at your shoes, may I suggest:

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1.Stress eat. Forgo the popcorn, that’s too easy to eat mindlessly. You need something to really sink your teeth into.  Try veggies and humus, that’s a little more difficult to navigate, and will give you something to focus on. Or a cheese ball with crackers, so long as the crackers are tough enough to withstand  your anxious spreading maneuvers.

2. Pour yourself a generous rum & Diet Pepsi. The rum will slowly relax you, and the caffeine will make your bladder spastic – bathroom breaks are a great excuse to avoid a particularly gruesome scene. While on a fake bathroom break, use your phone to look up cute pictures of puppies getting into trouble.

3. Play a game for distraction. I find that Simpsons Tapped Out works best, and they’ve got a lovely Halloween event on now where you can tap zombies, snakes and skeletons for rewards. Plants VS Zombies has also worked for me. What’s key is picking a game that you can play quietly, and where you can afford quick, furtive glances up at the screen to see if they’re still getting murdered as fuck up there.

4. Sing a little song to yourself. Or sing a loud song to everyone. Why can’t the Saw franchise be a musical? Narrate what’s happening on screen in your best opereto.

5. Watch the movie as if you’re the editor and it’s your job to find all the mistakes. The more low-budget this horror is, the more you’ll find.

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For instance, in the movie Halloween, when Michael attacks the nurse outside the sanitorium, he smashes through her car window. If you watch carefully, you can see a little wrench taped to his glove, which allowed the actor to easily break the glass.

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In Dawn of the Dead, a zombie gets hit by a truck and goes flying, but astute viewers can pick out the mini trampoline that helped create the effect – boiiiiiiiiing! See? Not scary! He’s just a grown man in a silly costume jumping on a too-small trampoline, and failing to hide it from you.

6. Think about the makeup lady who’s just out of shot right now, waiting on set to touch up the blood or bits of brain. She’s got a little toolbox full of bloody cotton balls and bone fragments she made out of styrofoam last night while watching reruns of Seinfeld and smoking unfiltered cigarettes. She’s forgetful, this makeup lady, so if you pay close attention, you’ll often see that a slash to the right cheek becomes a slash to the left, and then flips back again. Now imagine the director yelling cut, and this poor fool trying to order a Whopper at Burger King with this hideous makeup. Do you think he wants fries with that? Or imagine, if you will, a small child visiting Mum on set between takes, and licking the blood right off her neck, because that shit’s almost pure corn syrup. Someone’s going to have to clean this mess up afterward, and be grateful it’s not you.

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There are plenty of makeup mistakes to spot here as well. In The Exorcist, you may find that the little girl shakes her head back and forth a lot while she’s possessed, poor thing, but this causes her hair to move and expose her pretty pink ear lobes – oops! Guess the makeup team didn’t think we’d see them. They remain unpainted, and apparently, unpossessed.

7. Protect your face. Something feeling scary? Put your hands to your face, shield your eyes, then spread your fingers ever-so-slightly. Not too much. Just let in a little light. Feeling okay? Spread em a little wider. Can you see glimpses of the screen? It’s much more manageable this way. You can probably find at least one small section of a body that’s not currently getting ax-murdered. Fixate on that. Foreboding music starting to build? Slam those fingers shut again!

8. Do a project. Have a colouring book on the go, or do some ironing. I like to give Sean back massages, because it keeps my brain half-occupied and also, he’s much bigger than me, and blocks my view. If you’re actually at the theatre, see how many times you can fold a paper napkin from the concession stand, or count the seconds between screams. Anything for distraction!

9. Have a therapy dog on hand. A small dog who will cuddle works best. A small dog who can hold your hand on command is even better. Remember: nothing bad can happen if a puppy is kissing your ear.

10. If all else fails, remember that no matter how many bite-sized pieces she’s currently getting chopped into, this actress makes it. Eventually she left work for the day. She had to shampoo her hair twice to get all the sticky fake blood out. She went shopping for Monistat to treat her yeast infection. She stalked her ex-boyfriend on Facebook. And then she stood naked in front of a mirror wondering where she went wrong in life.

So that’s how you watch a movie like a wuss. It’s not pretty but it gets the job done. How about you – are you blood-lusty, or do you whimper your way through? What techniques work for you?

Danger on Set

Not to get all morbid on you, but movie sets aren’t always made of pillowy mounds of cotton candy and chocolatey rivers. And even when they are, things can still go wrong.

The most famous death on a movie set is arguably that of Brandon Lee, while working on The Crow. In 1993, at the North Carolina Film tumblr_lglbb13t1q1qg1dnpo1_500Studios, with just 8 days left of filming, the scene where Lee walks in on his fiancée being raped by thugs was being shot. Michael Massee, playing the villain, fired his prop gun as directed. Unfortunately, a real bullet unseated from a dummy round was lodged in the barrel of the handgun unbeknownst to anyone. A blank was loaded without anyone noticing the real bullet, and when the gun was fired, the real bullet hit Lee in the abdomen. He underwent 6 hours of surgery but succumbed to his wounds.

Things were more difficult in the early days of film, when capturing scenes we wouldn’t think twice about today amounted to a lot more peril. In 1914, while shooting a horseback river crossing for the movie Across the Border, cast member Grace McHugh and camera operator Owen Carter both drowned in the Arkansas River. A decade later, an actress named Martha Mansfield would die when a match, tossed by a fellow cast member, ignited her Civil War costume of hoopskirts and ruffles while filming The Warrens of Virginia. Leading man Wilfred Lytell saved her face by throwing his ben-hurheavy overcoat on her, and her chauffeur badly burned his hands trying to beat out the flames and remove her clothing. Her burns were too substantial and she died of her wounds. The next year, a stuntman died in Rome filming Ben-Hur when the wheel of a chariot broke during the race scene. And three people died in 1928, among a slew of other injuries and dismemberment, when several hundred extras were caught in the Noah’s Ark great flood scene. This led to a lot of safety regulations in the industry. But since this list continues, clearly not enough.

During aerial filming for the film Such Men Are Dangerous off the coast of Southern California, two camera-planes collided over the ocean. All ten men on board the two planes were killed, including director Kenneth Hawks, assistant-directors Max Gold and Ben Frankel, cinematographer Conrad Wells, and cameraman George Eastman.

Producer and co-director Varick wanted more footage of the Labrador ice floes for his film The Viking. He and a small film crew joined a seal-hunting voyage which became trapped in ice near Horse Isles and dynamite stored on board (intended for breaking up ice floes) accidentally detonated, destroying the vessel and killing 27 men, including Frissell and cameraman Alexander Penrod.

While filming the charge sequence of The Charge of the Light Figure4Brigade, a stuntman was killed when he fell off his horse and landed on a broken sword that was lying on the field, unfortunately wedged with its blade was sticking straight up. Also, due to the use of trip wires, three dozen horses had their legs broken and had to be shot during filming, resulting in laws to protect animals used in motion pictures.

During the filming of Shark!, a 1969 actioShark-Reynolds-620x400n flick starring Burt Reynolds, a stuntman was mauled and killed by a shark who was supposed to have been sedated. The production company used his death to hype the film. Not learning the valuable lesson that wild animals are dangerous, sound technician James Chapman was mauled to death by a lion during production on the South African film The Last Lion. And in 1979’s Comes A Horseman, during the scene where Jason Robards’ character is dragged to (presumably) his death, stunt man Jim Sheppard was killed when the horse that was dragging him veered off-course and caused him to hit his head on a fence post. The scene made it into the movie, cut right before the horse passes through the gate which killed Sheppard. So it’s respectful, guys!

A.J. Bakunas performed a fall flawless while doubling for George Kennedy in the movie Steel – a tumble from the ninth floor of a construction site. But when he learned that Dar Robinson had just broken his record high fall, hubris got to him. He once again performed his fall from the top of a 300-ft construction site expertly, but this time the air bag split open and he was killed.

On the set of For Your Eyes Only, while filming a memorable high-speed chase in the BobsledRunChasebobsleigh run, the four-man bobsled came out of the run at the wrong turn and hit a tree. A young stuntman named Paolo Rigon, was killed.

Another unlucky stuntman, a profession that clearly doesn’t get paid enougThe Right Stuff 1h, met his death while filming a scene for The Right Stuff. In it, he recreates Chuck Yeager’s escape from a stalling NF-104. In real life, Yeager’s helmet caught fire from the ejection seat’s heated exhaust in mid-air. The stunt guy carried a smoke canister during his free fall to simulate such fire. However, this seems to have intoxicated the stuntman, causing him to lose consciousness. He failed to open his parachute and fell to his death.

In a segment of Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983) directed by John Landis, a helicopter was flying too low on set and failed to avoid the MSDTWZO EC001explosions and pyrotechnics being used. A blast severed the tail rotor, sending the helicopter into a tailspin toward the actors. Vic Morrow and Myca Dinh Le (age 7) were decapitated by the blades while Renee Shin-Yi (age 6) was crushed to death when it landed on her. Legal action raged for a decade, and Hollywood shied away from helicopter stunts until the CGI revolution of the 90s. The incident also severed the friendship between Landis and Steven Spielberg, who’d already been angered by Landis’ many code violations.

Art Scholl was a renowned aerobatic pilot and no stranger to airplane stunts, so when the script for Top Gun called for a flat spin1435437010_top-gun_2 he was the go-to guy for such camerawork. Unfortunately, Scholl entered the spin as usual but was unable to recover from it and crashed his Pitts S-2 into the Pacific Ocean off the Southern California coast. No one knows what caused the crash.

Veteran stuntman Victor Magnotta drowned while performing a car stunt for The Squeeze  in which he drove the vehicle off a Hoboken pier and plunged into the Hudson river. The stunt left him pinned in the car and he could not escape before drowning.

waterworldA worker died when he was crushed between two lighting equipment cranes during filming for The Bodyguard. One of the extras was lost at sea during the filming of the jet ski scene in Waterworld . Lost. At. Sea! Over Waterworld.

A stuntman for Vin Diesel in xXx was killed in 2002 while filming a stunt that had already been completed without incident. During the second take, however, Harry L. O’Connor was supposed to rappel down a parasailing line and land on a submarine but when O’Connor failed to rappel down the line fast enough, he a pillar of the Palacky Bridge (in Prague) at high-speed and was killed instantly. His death was caught on camera, and apparently director Rob Cohen decided to include the footage of the scene – with the final moments edited out – out of respect for the stuntman’s final act. Obviously.

Cameraman Conway Wickliffe was killed in 2007 on the set of The Dark Knight, as he rode in a pickup truck driving parallel to a stunt car; the pickup missed a 90-degree turn and crashed into a tree, killing him.

Not all jobs on a set are created equal. Some are inherently more exciting, others more dangerous, and some decidedly less glamorous. A set dresser is the person working under a set decorator and production designer, who physicallyjumper-movie-stills-06 places furniture, hangs pictures, and puts out the knickknacks. Jumper, a 2008 sci-fi thriller starring Samuel L. Jackson, used a mixture of frozen sand, earth, and ice for special effects in exterior set pieces. Set dresser David Ritchie was pronounced dead on the scene after a large piece of frozen sand and gravel fell on top of him while dismantling the set in frigid winter temperatures.

You might have gotten the picture from this non-exhaustive list that half of all injuries on set are to a stunt person, and for roughly every 2000 injuries there are 5 deaths, helicopters still leading the way in cause of death – between 1980 and 1990 there were 37 deaths relating to accidents during stunts; 24 of these deaths involved the use of helicopters. So think about that the next time you see a beautiful aerial shot. Someone risked their life for it.

 

 

 

A Farewell to Helen Mirren’s Fabulous Tits

helen-mirren-looking-hot-with-breasts-showing-in-tight-corsetHelen Mirren, the 70-year-old British bombshell, has announced that her breasts have gone into retirement. No  more nude scenes, no more topless shots – “My pleasure pillows are purely for my husband now.”

 

Helen’s boobies first appeared to us in 1969’s Age of Consent and as recently as a 2010 (nude) photo shoot for New York magazine. helen_mirren_nudeThey were also featured in a 2011 SNL skit entitled “Helen Mirren’s Magical Bosom.”

“Well, I didn’t know my boobs were legendary, quite honestly, at that point,” she told Alan Cumming in a recent interview, seemingly halfway between flattered and embarrassed.

Now, as often as I might cringe when a woman takes her top off in the movies (because why? Is this really necessary? Is this even nice?), I have no problem imagining that every single time Helen did it, it was from a tumblr_mzz0ttsMmA1tr4owso1_500position of power. The woman, and her cleavage, are feminist icons.

In fact, you may note that she achieved Damehood from the Queen, in the Order of the British Empire for services to the performing arts in 2003, the same year she appeared topless in Calendar Girls. Coincidence?mirrencalendar

Helen Mirren is gorgeous at any age, but her confidence and sassiness in her 70-year-old skin is what makes her sexy, and damn is she sexy.

Screaming Bloody Murder

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The Wilhelm scream is, as you may know, a stock sound effect that’s been used in hundreds of movies, beginning in 1951 in the film Distant Drums when a soldier is bitten and then dragged underwater by an alligator. It is likely voiced by Sheb Wooley (best known for his one-hit wonder “The Purple People Eater”) and named after Private Wilhelm, a character in the 1953 western The Charge at Feather River who gets shot with an arrow (but this was already the 3rd movie to use the effect).

The Wilhelm was re-discovered by sound designer Ben Burtt (it was a reel labeled unforgettably as “Man being eaten by alligator”), who incorporated it into a little film he was working on called Star Wars. And then he kept on throwing it into all kinds of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg productions over the next decade until other sound designers picked it up and made it a tradition, or almost an in-joke among the industry. In fact when it appears in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, it’s when a man is being eaten by an alligator. In-joke on an in-joke? Today it’s used religiously by Peter Jackson, Quentin Tarantino, and Tim Burton. You can hear it in Titanic, Inglorious Basterds, Spiderman, Planet of the Apes, Despicable Me, Sin City, and a hundred more.

Lesser known is the Howie scream, which made its debut in the 1980 film The Ninth Configuration but got its name from Howie Long’s death scene in the movie Broken Arrow. Its common labels Gut-wrenching scream, and Fall into distance give you some idea of how it’s popularly used.

Some of my favourite screams on film:

Janet Leigh in Psycho. Unforgettable.

Susan Backlinie in the opening sequence of Jaws. It’s gurgly and gasping and totally desperate.

Ronald Lacey in Raiders of the Lost Ark. There are lots of good Nazi screams in this movie, but Lacey’s final scream is classic. The burble at the end as he’s melting? Ooof. Brutal.

Margaret Hamilton as the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz. I don’t know if it’s a scream so much as a shriek but it pierces the ear unlike any other before or since.

Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Remember his last pod scream? Of course you do. Fuck.

Shelley Duvall in The Shining. That poor woman. Her scream is so visceral you might be led to believe she didn’t quite trust Jack Nicholson with that ax.

fay-wray-king-kong-1933Fay Wray is the scream queen for sure throughout the entirety of King Kong. Just watch her facial contortions and body language as she gives the alarm over and over again.

Now I’m not sure that you’re the equal of Fay Wray, but if you’re anywhere close, now’s your chance to prove it.

Andrew J.D. Robinson is a powerhouse director, producer, and all-round film-industry juggernaut to the city of Ottawa, and one of his many current projects is a Scream Queen contest as part of his 15 Seconds of Horror Film Challenge.

He’s looking for entries from one and all, so if you have a camera and a vocal cord (or two), you’re good to go. All you have to do is unleash your inner murder victim. One loud, terrorized, blood-curling scream, and you’re done. Andrew’s assembling them all into what I can only imagine will be the most alarming montage in movie history.

So do your best – or your worst – and send them to Andrew at workobeyfilms @ gmail.com by October 21st and be sure to include any social media of yours you’d like to be linked to. And then please god send it to us. Post them right here in the comments.

Giving Props

We rarely mention props in our movie reviews, but just try and picture Lars and The Real girl without the blow-up doll, or Fargo without the wood chipper, or American Pie without the pie. You can’t! Because props are actually a really important part of creating the mythology of a movie. Here are some of my favourite, but be sure to share yours in the comments!

tom-hanks-wilsonI bet this guy is instantly recognizable to you, and I bet you even know his name. Wilson the volleyball was Tom Hanks’ costar in Castaway. Hanks is all alone on a desert island until he unwraps this friend and gives him a smiling face. Pretty soon they’re sharing good times and conversation, and when Wilson is lost during a storm, it’s one of the most heart breaking scenes of the movie.

raquelHow about this one? Ring any bells? It’s a Raquel Welch poster, and it’s seen in The Shawshank Redemption. Andy (Tim Robbins) uses this and other posters over a 17 year period to conceal the tunnel he’s been methodically digging with a rock hammer. When the warden finds his cell empty one morning, he angrily throws a rock that tears a hole through poster, revealing its hidden secret. Andy has escaped.shawshank-tunnel

 

 

 

 

alarmThis, of course, is Bill Murray’s alarm clock in Groundhog Day. A frustrated TV reporter providing lacklustre groundhog day coverage, he realizes that he’s stuck in a time loop and he’s the only one who knows it. Every day when this clock flips over to 6am and starts playing I Got You, Babe, Bill Murray is doomed to repeat the same day. He goes from reckless hedonism to eventually a little personal growth, but the clock just keeps telling time.

empire-greatest-romantic-gestures-say-anythingThis is Lloyd Dobler, and that is Lloyd Dobler’s boombox. When John Cusack lifts this hulking music machine above his shoulders to win back the girl of his dreams, we know he’s serious. And so does she. It’s a 1980s serenade that inspired untold tributes and bolstered Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes to the top of the charts.

 

maltesefalconThe Maltese falcon from The Maltese Falcon: hard to get more iconic than this. Humphrey Bogart plays P.I. Sam Spade, who wrangles a trio of clients all trying to get their hands on the jewel-encrusted bird statuette. Carved by American sculptor Fred Sexton, the falcon is perhaps THE prime example of a MacGuffin, a plot device that motivates the characters of the story, but has otherwise very little relevance. Still, different versions of the falcon always sell when they come up at auction and fetch very high prices – a metal version sold in 2013 for over $4 000 000.

 

 

Episode_4_Luke_Skywalker_1.jpgI am somewhat loathe to include this one because I am no Star Wars fan (never having seen the films) – but really, how could I not? Nearly 40 years after the movie’s release, kids are still playing with these, and grown-ups are too. And look at the thing: it really is so damn cool. I irresistible to the 12-year-old boy, and chub-inducing to any 30-year-old still living in his parents’ basement. The light saber is probably the most iconic weapon in film history. Korean animator Nelson Shin brought it to life by drawing the light with a rotoscope. Its sound effects were designed by Ben Burtt, who layered the hum of an idling interlock motor in an old movie projector with the interference caused by a TV set to get their distinctive noise. John Stears built the hilt from old press camera flash batter packs; set decorator Roger Christian added some surface details, and George Lucas suggested adding a clip so Luke could hang it from his belt. A star is born.

legThe leg lamp from A Christmas Story. Classic. The super big time award that could only come out of a box stamped frah-gee-leh: the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window. This lamp is not only instantly recognizable, it’s also zealously reproduced. Thousands of homes have a replica of this lamp and we can only guess at how many battles have been won or lost as a result.

 

 

 

bttf_time_machine_ebay_leadConfession time: I once dated a man who owned a DeLorean. DeLorean owners are a breed all of their own. They’ve formed a club, and the club meetings consist of getting their cars together, usually in the parking lot of a hand-carwash, and gently stroking their cars under the gaze of their fellow DeLoreaners. Aside from that bout of creepiness, this car was an instant standout in the Back to the Future films, so awesome for its completely 80s vibe, its distinctive gull-wing doors, it could be the only car to be turned into a time machine by the kooky Doc. Six were made for the film and only 3 of those remain – we saw one this summer at Universal Studios. 9000 were produced around 1981 in real life, and 6500 of those are still kicking around today, creeping out girls in car clubs all across this great country of ours.

heartoceanThe Heart of the Ocean: Bill Paxton spends the entirety of the movie Titanic looking for this necklace, which he believes went down with the ship. Rose’s (Kate Winslet) billionaire boyfriend gives it to her, and she wears it while posing otherwise nude for Jack. It’s a fictional blue diamond, humongous of course, and it inspired the jewel-lust of multitudes of weepy women. London jewelers Asprey & Garrard set cubic zirconias in white gold to make the prop in the film but afterward they were commissioned to create an “authentic” Heart of the Ocean using platinum, a 171-carat sapphire and 103 diamonds. It was donated to Sotheby’s to benefit the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fund and was sold for $1.4 million – with the understanding that Celine Dion could wear it 2 nights later at the Academy Awards. The J. Peterman Company would go on to sell cheap knock-offs for wives who just weren’t important enough for the real thing.

zoltarTo me, Zoltar never existed outside of the movie Big. The two are inseparable, and although I may occasionally come across one on a boardwalk somewhere, it always feels like a movie prop to me. Young Josh puts a coin into an antique arcade fortune-teller machine called Zoltar Speaks, and wishes to be big. It spits out a card saying “Your wish is granted” and despite the fact that the machine was unplugged the whole time, he does indeed wake up in Tom Hanks body the next day, which, let’s face it, would freak anyone out.

staplerExcuse me, I believe you have my stapler. Poor Milton. He really gets the shaft in his office, and the one thing, the only thing he truly prizes is his beloved red Swingline stapler. “And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…”

Mary-Poppins-13I wondered for a long time whether to include Mary Poppins’ bag, or her umbrella. She’s famous for both. But as a kid, it was her magic carpet bag that stole my imagination. The thing is bottomless! She pulls out a coat rack, a mirror, a rubber tree plant, and a lamp! What else has she got in there? It occurs to me that now that I carry a purse of my own, any time I search for my car keys, my bag feels pretty bottomless too. Maybe not such a magic trick after all, but you still can’t have this nanny without her baggage.

inception-spinning-top-totem-replica-3The spinning top from inception – maybe the most talked-about prop from the past decade. Each member of the team carries their own totem –  a small something that they’ve crafted themselves, an anchor to the real world so they’ll always know if they’re dreaming. Leonardo’s is the top: in the real world, it always stops spinning but in the dream world, it can go on forever. In the famous last scene of the movie, the camera cuts out after a very long sequence of spinning, and we never know if it was about to fall, or if it would keep on spinning forever.

RingfrodoAgain I’m a fraud because I’ve never seen The Lord of the Rings movies (and I never will) – but even a non-fan knows of this unforgettable prop. I don’t really know what the ring is about, other than it seems to have magic powers – invisibility, I believe, but also some darker forces than that. At any rate, it needed to be destroyed and of course, it was impervious to damage. Stupid ring. So it took three whole movies just to chuck it in a volcano. I’m guessing. I mean, I’m just assuming they were eventually successful. Otherwise, that was a pretty epic failure. Jens Hanson designed the ring for the movie – rings, I should say, because 40 variations were made for the filming – tiny little gold rings for tiny little hobbit fingers, and a special spinning one for the prologue of the first film. None were inscribed; the inscription was computer generated in post-production. Sadly, Hansen died of cancer before he could see his creation on the big screen.

article-2169225-02E3C1FB0000044D-995_634x701A golden prop that I can get behind, is the golden ticket from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Willy Wonka operates a mysterious candy factory, and Charlie is one of the lucky winners of a golden ticket that will allow him to see behind the scenes. Charlie is unused to opportunity, and this ticket affords him (and us) a real adventure of the senses (plus a lifetime supply of chocolate, and a sneak peek of his latest creation, the everlasting gobstopper).

goldenticket

 

 

 

 

waterI don’t know if I’ve saved the best for last, but it is the most humble: a plastic cup of water. But with this cup, Steven Spielberg creates dread and suspense enough to fill oceans. For a whole generation, every time we see rings in a glass of water, our first thought will always be: T-rex!

 

Posts devoted to iconic cars and costumes will follow, but as for props, what did I miss?

 

TIFF: The Agony and the Ecstacy

Matt wrote last week about the choices he made for his viewing pleasure (and hopefully your reading one) at the Toronto International Film Festival, slated to open with a bang (or rather, a star-studded screening of Demolition) on September 10.

I  held mine back because the truth is, the TIFF selection process was not a fun one for me. TIFF  has weird rules where it takes your money and then weeks later gives you a “randomly” selected window of just 60 minutes for making your choices – I’m seeing maybe 20 movies out of over 430, by my count, so that’s an awful lot of frantic sifting, choosing, replacing, and scheduling to do in just 60 minutes. It goes without saying that I was “randomly” selected to choose more than 24 hours later than Matt, which meant that a lot of my first, second, and third choices were “off-sale”. Off-sale doesn’t mean sold out, it means that they’re holding some tickets back for when they go on sale to the general public. And nothing against the general public, but I paid my oodles of money, I’m travelling in from out of town, and I don’t think it’s very nice or very fair to force me (since I’ve prepaid for tickets) to see movies that aren’t selling as well, when someone who pays a nominal $25 on the day of will have better luck than me.

I’ll stop my belly-aching now. We’re still pretty lucky to be going at all and I know that. So, without further whining about first world problems, my TIFF picks:

Demolition: I’m actually going to see this one with both Matt and Sean, so it’s a rarity, and I’m not only looking forward to seeing what director Jean-Marc Vallée can squeeze out of Jake Gyllenhaal, I also can’t wait to discuss it with my favourite movie-going friends.

The Lobster: This one is quirky as hell and right up my alley, and I never thought I’d be saying that about a Colin Farrell movie. Newly heartbroken, he checks into a hotel where he’s under the gun to find a mate within a super tight time period – or risk being turned into an animal and put out to pasture? It sounds more like a child’s drawing than a movie, but there you have it.

Eye in the Sky: We ‘re doing the red-carpet treatment of this one on Friday night, and Dame Helen Mirren is confirmed to attend. She’s looking less glamorous in the still from this movie, playing a Colonel who’s spent a long time tracking down a radicalized citizen who must be stopped. But when drone operator Aaron Paul reports that a small child has wandered into the kill zone, the team has to decide whether the casualty of this little girl is acceptable collateral damage. Yowza!

The Martian: You may know that I have been frothing about this movie for months now. I luuuurved the book and passed it along to all of my literate friends but then waved a flag of skepticism when I heard that a) it’s directed by Ridley Scott b) it’s a reteaming of Matt Damon and Jessica Chastain, lately seen together in Interstellar. But I hope hope HOPE that they “science the hell” out of this thing and blow my fucking socks off.

The Danish Girl: Eddie Redmayne is almost certainly in the running for a second Oscar for his portrayal of Lili Elbe, the 1920s Danish artist who was one of the first known recipients of sexual reassignment surgery. The trailer alone looks so lush that I’m drooping to see it – which is fortunate, because TIFF stuck me with TWO pairs of tickets to this. Woops! Anyone know someone who’s looking for a pair?

Freeheld: We’re seeing this one on flashy premiere night as well and will see both Julianne Moore and Ellen Page walk the red carpet. They star as a real-life couple from New Jersey who just want Moore’s pension to go to Page when Moore passes away. It was a huge case for LGBT rights and I’m betting that both of these ladies really bring it.

The Dressmaker: Funny story. I read this book recently, in anticipation of this movie. And I really, really liked it. Only: it’s about a young dressmaker who survives the sinking of the Titanic thanks to her wealthy employer. Knowing that Kate Winslet was set to star, I was shocked that she’d choose to go back to Titanic in this way. I mean, if anyone can put it off, it’s Winslet, but still. The more I read, the more I thought maybe she’s not playing the dressmaker, maybe she’s playing the plucky journalist. I still couldn’t believe the press wasn’t making a bigger deal out of this, but it wasn’t until I finished the book that I realized that I’d read the wrong Dressmaker. Same title, different author. Oopsie daisy again. But I’m confident this one’s good too, and it’s Kate Winslet, so we’re almost guaranteed to see boob.

Into the Forest: Here’s a movie that looks so familiar to me in the trailer that I believe I have read the book. I do not know for sure that it’s based on a book and I’m not looking it up. This way even I’ll be surprised (or, REALLY surprised!). Evan Rachel Wood and Ellen Page star as sisters who live in a remote cabin in the woods. The world is on the verge of the apocalypse and their location keeps them safe, but also leaves them vulnerable…

Anomalisa: This is the Charlie Kaufman-directed stop-motion animated ode to a motivational speaker and his bleak existence. I have no idea what to expect from it and that’s why I’m so crazy excited. It could go a lot of ways but no matter what, I do believe I’ll be seeing something special.

About Ray: Have you ever attended a red carpet event in the middle of the afternoon? Me neither! TIFF is so jam-packed with gliterry premieres that it starts packing them in at odd times just to get through them all. I’m tickled we got tickets to this (hard won, believe me) and I’m anxious to see if it’s as good as it looks, and if this and The Danish Girl will cancel each other out (though this one is also about a gender transition, it’s set in modern day, with Elle Fanning as the young woman who wants to be a young man, Naomi Watts as her mother, and Susan Sarandon as her mother.

Miss You Already: This might be a little too chick-flicky to be regular festival fare, but it’s Toni Collette so say what you want, but my ass will be in that seat at the ungodly hour of 8:45 in the goddamned morning. Toni and Drew Barrymore play lifelong friends whose friendship hits a bit of a roadbump when one discovers she’s pregnant just as the other gets a cancer diagnosis. Note to Sean: bring tissues, or an extra-absorbent shirt.

Maggie’s Plan: Starring the delightful Greta Gerwig, Maggie’s plan to have a baby on her own is derailed when she falls in love with a married man (Ethan Hawke) and destroys his relationship with his brilliant wife (Julianne Moore). I like Gerwig a whole lot but to be honest, I’m really wondering how this dynamic is going to work – and I’m super intrigued to find out how Bill Hader fits into the mix. Julianne Moore is going to be one busy lady at this festival!

The Family Fang: Directed by and starring Jason Bateman, he plays a brother to Nicole Kidman, both returning to the family home in search of their super-famous parents who seem to have disappeared. Jason Bateman is a little hit or miss for me but I committed on the off chance that the man playing his father – legendary Christopher MotherFucking Walken – might be in attendance. He’s not slated as far as I can tell, but I’d kick myself right in the sitter if he was and I wasn’t.

Legend: Tom Hardy plays real-life English gangsters. Yes, plural: the Kray twins. This dual role is getting a lot of buzz and since I seem to be mesmerized by Hardy in nearly everything he does, I’m super excited to check this one out.

 

Biggest TIFF regret: Missing Room. We’ll be back and forth between Ottawa and Toronto, but this particular movie only plays twice during the whole festival, and neither screening is on a day I’m there. I loved this book and am anxious to see the movie treatment. Good or bad, I want to pass judgement. I want to feast my little eyes. I am heartbroken to miss this one.

Two questions:

  1. We still have some tickets to alocate. Any suggestions?
  2. If you were in The Lobster hotel and failed to find a mate – what animal would you be turned into. Me? An otter. Definitely an otter.

We’ll be posting updates as we go, and be sure to check out our Twitter @assholemovies for photos of the red carpet premieres!

 

Famous Movie Directors and their MTV Influence

Did you know some of your favourite film makers have made not just great movies, but some unforgettable music videos as well? Some directors got their start on MTV, but most on this list are just trying something different.

Antoine Fuqua, best known for directing Training Day and more recently Southpaw, got his start in music videos, shooting songs for Toni Braxton and Prince, but his most famous, arguably, is the one he did for Coolio: Gangsta’s Paradise, which took home best rap video at the MTV video awards in 1996. It’s been 20 years and a couple of weeks since its release but if you hear this song, it transports you back to that magical, Michelle Pfeiffery time in 1995 when rap was still a bit on the fringes, but Fuqua (hired by Jerry Bruckheimer) dared to pair Coolio with America’s super-white sweetheart in a series of face-offs that really  normalized things and turned the genre on its ear. “I wasn’t completely happy with Antoine Fuqua’s concept at first, [says Coolio, to Rolling Stone] because I wanted some low-riders and some shit in it; I was trying to take it ‘hood. But he had a better vision, thank God, than I did. I couldn’t completely see his vision, but I trusted him.” The video is dark, shadowy, and intense, with choice clips from the film highlighting its rougher themes, proving Fuqua had style.

Gus Van Sant, director of Milk and Good Will Hunting, did a video for Red Hot Chili Peppers after directing Flea in My Own Private Idaho. The band credits Van Sant’s video for Under The Bridge with helping them break into the mainstream. The video features the band in a studio with lots and lots of projected lights and layered images superimposed over their faces, and backdrops of deserts and ocean, and then shifts its focus to the streets of Los Angeles, where Anthony Kiedis sings at various city folk, the camera lingering on characters as they go by. This video is just a small dose of Van Sant’s melding of stylistic devises that audiences would come to know him for.

David Fincher, weirdo director of Fight Club and The Social Network, has done a number of music videos, including Billy Idol’s Cradle of Love and Madonna’s Vogue, but I love the one he did for Aerosmith because it’s SO Fincher. In fact, it was banned from MTV for its gruesome, realistic scenes that kinda sorta alluded to incest. It was a landmark video for its narrative structure, blue mood lighting, and tricky not-for-primetime subject matter.

Michael Bay is my personal nemesis, and director of winners such as Pearl Harbor, and Transformers. But did you know that before Bad Boys, there was Meatloaf? That’s right – in the greatest pairing since Avril Lavigne and the guy from Nickelback, Michael Bay staged the epic I’d Do Anything For Love video – ridiculous and grandiose, there is nothing these two wouldn’t do. No expense or piece of storyline was spared; the budget is said to have been over $4 million dollars, but there is a helicopter and 2 hours of makeup application for a 6 minute video, so that’s reasonable.

Sofia Coppola, feted director of Lost in Translation, once did a video for the White Stripes: I Just Don’t Know What to Do With Myself. It’s a cover song, obviously, and it needed a fab director to take a Burt Bacharach ditty that Dusty Springfield made famous, and putting their own mark on it. Coppola decided to keep it simple: Kate Moss pole dances, in black and white. Why? “Because I would like to see it. [says Sofia] That’s the way I work: I try to imagine what I would like to see.” It has a Bob Fosse\Factory feel and updates the vintage classic. But this is Virgin Suicides Sofia Coppola we’re talking about; the video is sexy, sure, but it’s also lonely. Moss is out there alone. No audience. There’s emptiness mixed with her particular brand of eroticism. But it certainly seems that she knows exactly what to do with herself. And now you might have a few ideas of what to do with her too.

And how about that Spike Lee? He’s gotta be the obvious one on this list, right? The director of Do The Right Thing was also behind the camera for Public Enemy’s iconic video. Videos actually; one was made to highlight the film, but a second was made with thousands of extras simulating a political rally in Brooklyn. It really captures the emotions, and the anger really, of the song’s lyrics. This song was conceived was Lee’s behest, and this is man who does not avoid controversy. The video was a megaphone and Lee knows exactly where to point it.

Brian de Palma is maybe my favourite on this list. You know him as the director of Scarface and Carrie, but did you know he also directed the video for Bruce Springsteins’ Dancing in the Dark? Neither a psychological thriller nor graphically violent, Dancing in the Dark doesn’t even appear to pay homage to Hitchcock. Are we sure it’s de Palma? Apparently this is what he does when he’s between movies. He makes music videos as business cards: this gun’s for hire.

And speaking of out of character, how about this New Order video for Touched By The Hand of God? It’s Kathryn Bigelow at the helm, responsible for the inspired casting of New Order themselves to play hair-band versions of themselves. No hints of The Hurt Locker here, Bigelow instead opts to parody glam metal. And where De Palma used a young Courtney Cox, Bigelow went with a young Bill Paxton. Crazy, right?

Tim Burton, the man behind Edward Scissorhands and a whole genre’s worth of quirky gothic horror stuff, also does music videos in his spare time. Hired by The Killers when they all had flagging careers, he in turn tossed a day’s work to Winona Ryder who was happy to get paid scale to play some sort of weird, bug-eyed wax doll. I think. It’s definitely cinematic and Burtony and it doesn’t make me like, or understand, the song any better.

This list would not be complete without Mr. Scorsese. He directed the epic music video for Michael Jackson’s Bad, which (together with Thriller, directed by John Landis) cemented these sprawling, story-telling videos. It co-stars a young Wesley Snipes and is heavily influenced by West Side Story. It is 18 minutes long (take that, Thriller!) and even had a screenwriter. Jackson plays a student named Daryl who’s home after a semester at a private school. To prove to Snipes that he’s still “bad” he…well, he dances. As you do. He snaps, the video turns to colour, and here you have it:

This list is already long but believe me, it could go on for ages. Directors be busy!

Gaspar Noe (Enter the Void) – Nick Cave, We No Who U R

Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind) – Chemical Brothers, Star Guitar

Spike Jonze (Her) – Beastie Boys, Sabotage

Jonathan Glazer (Under the Skin)- Radiohead, Karma Police

James Cameron (Titanic) – Martini Ranch, Reach Bloated and starring Bill Paxton, what else?

Brett Ratner (X-Men: The Last Stand) – Jessica Simpson, These Boots Are Made for Walking

Ridley Scott (Gladiator) – Roxy Music, Avalon

Ron Howard (Cocoon) – Michael Sembello, Gravity HOLY SHIT YOU NEED TO CHECK THIS OUT
Do any of these surprise you? Do you see any of the director’s style shining through these music videos?

UPDATE:

There is no way in hell I could fail to mention that Canadian indie director whizkid Xavier Dolan recently directed the history-making, ultra-lush Adele video to end all videos. It’s the first music video ever to be shot in IMAX, in stark black and white. Set in the outskirts of Montreal, it’s an emotional one, beautiful and well suited for Adele’s overdue comeback. It racked up a record-breaking 27 million views in the first 24 hours of its release – take that, Taylor Swift. Apparently it was Adele who reached out to Dolan, and he’s still reeling that she even knows who he is.

Against the Crowd

bannerfans_16176859Wendell at Dell On Movies has proposed this inspired idea for a blogathon: Against the Crowd. Basically, you name one movie that you love even though everyone else hates it, and one movie that everyone loves but you actually hate. I’m already licking my lips in anticipation! Thanks, Wendell, for letting us play!

 

Sean’s picks:

46a639ecd69330827bc6a3212bab82a0One I love that everyone else hates: Night at the Roxbury (11% on Rotten Tomatoes’ Tomatometer) – Honestly, if you hate this movie, I don’t want to know you. It’s wonderful. It’s so funny and kind of sweet and somehow all came together out of a one-note SNL skit. It’s pure genius, like seriously, the wedding scene is the best possible way to break up your brother’s wedding to Molly Shannon. And casting Richard Greico as himself, and then having him give life advice to Dan Hedaya? Simply amazing.

 

 

One I hate that everyone else loves: Life of Pi (87% on the Tomatometer) – After reading the life-of-pi-01-1920x1080book, the movie was such a let-down, and somehow it still got a best picture nod? You know, I’m not much of a reader but this book is one for the ages and the movie simply does not do it justice, and butchers the end reveal which absolutely defines the book and makes you want to immediately read it again.

 

Jay’s picks:

One I love that everyone else hates: Mixed Nuts (7% on the Tomatometer) – This movie is not well-known, so let me paint you a picture: a small group of counsellors are running a crisis line on Christmas Eve while facing down joblessness (hello, funding cuts!), clients with no boundaries (but a transgendered Liev Schrieber does a mean tango), and of course, loads of their own personal shit. The counsellors include Steve Martin, Rita Wilson, and the esteemed Madeline Kahn. So when a certain counsellor (namely, myself) goes to work at her own crisis line on Christmas Eve, the blow is made that much softer by watching this movie that makes me feel just a little less alone, and a little more merry. The jokes are as cornball as they come, but once a year I want to see Adam Sandler play his ukulele, Jon Stewart get road rage on rollerblades, Garry Shandling dress as a Christmas tree, Anthony LaPaglia get high on tranquilizers meant for dogs. Is that so weird?

One I hate that everyone else loves: Can I possibly pick just one? Sean suggested “any thing comic book” which is almost but not quite true (maybe more “anything super hero” but even that’s not fair, because a couple have transcended the genre but otherwise, yes, I’m tired, and they’re clichéd and over-reliant on CGI), and then “anything franchise” which again is almost but not quite true – and I don’t think it’s fair for me to pick Lord of the Rings or Star Wars Or Hunger Games because the truth is, I haven’t seen them. I just hate them on principle. So I’m left with two movies that will assuredly get me into hot water: The Hurt Locker (98% on the Tomatometer), and 12 Years A Slave (96%). I hate them both for basically the same reason: while I wouldn’t say either is bad, I’d say both are derivative and listless. I’ve seen better, more memorable movies in both their respective genres. However, I suspect these particular movies garnered their excessive attention from the Academy for reasons other than strictly merit. And that’s really frustrating. I saw The Hurt Locker almost immediately upon release and was like: “meh.” I don’t like Jeremy Renner. I’m pretty sure this movie was supposed to be suspenseful but when you spend the whole time thinking, “God, why won’t he just die already”, it sort of cooks the goose. And I know it’s a proud American tradition to demonize one’s enemies, but the situation in Iraq was so much more complex than this movie knows how to give it credit for. It has no point of view. Yes, dismantling a bomb is a gruelling job. But where are these bombs coming from? Who is making them – and why? This movie wants to be important but congratulates itself for being “apolitical” when political context is exactly what’s needed. 12 Years A Slave I watched before the Oscars of course, but late enough after its release that I’d heard all the hype and went in believing it. There is one scene, one particular scene, where he is left hanging from a tree, with his toes just barely brushing the ground, left there for hours, constantly on the verge of death, and worse still (for me, the viewer anyway), all the other slaves witnessing this scene yet completely helpless to do anything about it – fuck. That scene went on WAY too long, which was exactly the right amount of way too long because it makes us the right amount of crazy uncomfortable. That scene was the only redeeming moment in the whole 12 years. The rest was torture porn, every bit as exploitative of Django Unchained was accused of being, only without Tarantino’s style. Chiwetel Ejiofor is sublime, communicating so much with his eyes – but he has to. The script sure isn’t giving him much more than the same trite lines that have already been recited. In fact, it almost feels like this movie belongs to the villains – Fassbender has the juiciest bits, that’s for sure. McQueen is intent on making us flinch, making this film feel like a slavery-themed edition of the Saw series. The Academy awarded what should have been a movie of hard truths, but in reality it was just hard to watch. (Dear white people: hating this movie doesn’t make you racist!) The gruesome images served to shock people into forgetting there was no emotional complexity here. And even if there was, it would come to a screeching halt with the Brad Pitt stunt-casting. How is it even possible to over-dramatize a movie about slavery? McQueen finds a way. I’ve read Solomon Northrup’s 12 Years a Slave and you know what? The material deserved a better treatment.

What about your picks? Half as juicy as mine?

p.s. Matt – you’re it!

 

Movies With Devastating Crushing Endings That Make You Want to Weep

TMP

Sorry to arrive a few hours late to this unusually sad edition of Thursday Movie Picks, hosted by Wandering Through the shelves. Since I’m posting this late, I’ll get right down to it but I will mention that, given the topic, I will be making no effort from here on to avoid spoilers.

CITIZEN KANE

Citizen Kane (1941)– Often called the greatest American film of all time, Citizen kane may have one of the saddest and most profound endings I’ve ever seen. Most people know by now that Rosebud was the sled. a dying rich man who had everything he could ever want except for the ability to really connect with another person calling out for his childhood, wishing he could do it all over again, is just plain tragic. I don’t think there’s a single silver lining in this movie.

one flew over the cuckoo's nest

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)– There’s a bit of a silver lining here. Chief does make a break for freedom after all. But poor Jack. He was so full of life throughout the movie and had such a rebellious spirit. He’s finally broken though and the only relief he gets is when Chief euthanizes him. Depressing stuff.

blue valentine

Blue Valentine (2010)– Watching Dean and Cindy’s marraige fall apart along with the sweet excitement of new love when they first met is depressing enough. When we start to realize that it’s the things that brought them together that are now tearing them apart, the whole thing seems inevitable and tragic. When Dean and Cindy are played with such raw honesty by Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, it’s just plain heartbreaking. And when it was released just two months after my own marraige fell apart, it felt personal.