Category Archives: Discussions (Shooting the Shit)

Marvel’s 10th Anniversary: A Yearbook

I feel a little bit dirty even saying this, but Marvel Studios has recently celebrated its 10 year anniversary, which began with Iron Man back in 2008 and culminated with Avengers: Infinity War only recently. The Marvel Cinematic Universe has comprised 19 films in the past decade, which has made it the highest-grossing film franchise, bar none.

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For those of you who maybe got a little lost along the way:

Phase One – Iron Man (2008), The Incredible Hulk (2008), Iron Man 2 (2010), Thor (2011), Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), and Marvel’s The Avengers (2012)

Phase Two – Iron Man 3 (2013), Thor: The Dark World (2013), Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Ant-Man (2015), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Phase Three – Captain America: Civil War (2016), Doctor Strange (2016), Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Black Panther (2018), Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Nineteen! Anyway, Marvel thinks 15 billion dollars is worth celebrating, so they’ve gathered all the actors responsible for our comic book fetish into this class picture, which you’ll need a magnifying glass in order to appreciate (luckily, with not one but TWO Sherlock Holmes among the cast [Robert Downey, Jr and Benedict Cumberbatch] those should be easy to get your hands on).

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In order to do a little celebrating of our own, the 3 Assholes got together to vote on yearbook superlatives for our favourite super heroes.

Best Eyes:

besteyesHey, we all picked from the same movie!

 

Best Dressed:
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 Class Clown:
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Most Athletic:
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I wondered who really had the edge here, so I took to Twitter to find out what popular opinion is. Out of 41 people surveyed, an overwhelming 76% agree with Matt. 12% side with Jay. Nobody sided with Sean, as usual. And the rest wrote in Black Widow, Spider-Man & Black Panther.
Quietest:
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By unanimous decision, and likely unsurprisingly, we’ve got Groot!
Cutest Couple:
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Most Ambitious:
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We probably should just concede the point to Matt, as Thanos clearly wants to rule the entire universe – but Nebula wants Thanos, so isn’t that one better?
Teacher’s Pet:
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Matt went with the ultimate brown-noser, Sean went with the know-it-all, and I went with the guy who seems like he’s still living in his parents’ basement, working on his 3rd PhD just to avoid the real world for another decade.
Best Smile:
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Honestly Matt, if Googles Images is to be believed, Black Widow has NEVER smiled!
Best person to be stranded with on a desert island:
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Sean says: “Because he’s a magician! He could get me anything i wanted!”
Biggest Gossip:
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Most likely to be found in the library:
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 Biggest Drama King/Queen:
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Who’s the most fun at recess:
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Most likely to have perfect attendance:
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We all know Captain America’s a real goody two-shoes, but I think War Machine is just a little insecure, and he wants it more. Poor Rhodey.
Most likely to get the teacher off topic:

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 Best bromance:
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Worst driver:
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Sean, I have a feeling  you’re being very literal with your pick. Too soon? Matt’s vote is actually for “the driver in the first scene in Iron Man that gets Tony captured.” And I went with Hulk because they don’t let people drive if they have seizures…surely whatever Bruce has is worse.
Most Likely to be catfished:
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Biggest Flirt:
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Most likely to be late to graduation:
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I realize that his chronic lateness is part of Peter’s charm, but may I remind you that a) it takes time to look as good as Valkyrie does and b) she woke up hungover.
Most likely to star on a reality show:
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Life of the party:
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Ned & his party hat!
Biggest Nerd:
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Most likely to own too many cats:
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He just seems a little lonely to me.
Best Hair:
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Really, guys?
Most changed since freshman year:
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Talk about a glow-up!
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I’m definitely into the haircut. Thanks, Taika!
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I was feeling more inclined to remind us of this.
And finally, which character in the MCU would we personally most like to eat lunch with:
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There’s little doubt you’ll find we go a lot wrong, so be sure to correct us in the comments!

 

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Oscar Nominations 2018

Since we got 18 hours’ worth of snow and freezing rain between Monday afternoon and Tuesday morning, Jay and I both got to stay home and watch Andy Serkis and Tiffany Haddish announce the 2018 Oscar Nominees.

Our instant reaction after the presentation finished?  Quite positive, I’d say.  The Academy seems to have included everyone who ought to be a contender for these awards, save for James Franco but there’s an understandable reason for that (#metoo).  The only real disappointment was that Wonder Woman didn’t get any nominations at all, which seems like a significant omission for a movie that is fifth on Rotten Tomatoes’ best of 2017 list, particularly when the terrible Suicide Squad got nominated for (and won!) an Oscar in 2017.

Even though Wonder Woman didn’t get any nominations, it was both satisfying and encouraging to see Jordan Peele’s Get Out and Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird get the recognition they both deserve.  Hopefully, their success will lead to other quality passion projects like those getting a green light and finding their audiences too.

Here’s the full list of nominations along with links to the ones we’ve reviewed (we got most of them and will be working on the rest between now and March 4th).

Did you spot any glaring omissions by the Academy?  If so, let us know in the comments!

BEST PICTURE:

Call Me By Your Name

Darkest Hour

Dunkirk

Get Out

Lady Bird

Phantom Thread

The Post

The Shape of Water

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

 

DIRECTING:

Christopher Nolan — Dunkirk

Jordan Peele — Get Out

Greta Gerwig — Lady Bird

Paul Thomas Anderson — Phantom Thread

Guillermo del Toro — The Shape of Water

 

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:

The Big Sick — Emily V. Gordon, Kumail Nanjiani

Get Out — Jordan Peele

Lady Bird — Greta Gerwig

The Shape of Water — Guillermo del Toro, Vanessa Taylor

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri — Martin McDonagh

 

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:

Call Me By Your Name — James Ivory

The Disaster Artist — Scott Neustadter, Michael H. Weber

Logan — Scott Frank, James Mangold, Michael Green

Molly’s Game — Aaron Sorkin

Mudbound — Virgil Williams, Dee Rees

 

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE:

Timothée Chalamet — Call Me By Your Name

Daniel Day Lewis — Phantom Thread

Daniel Kaluuya — Get Out

Gary Oldman — Darkest Hour

Denzel Washington — Roman J. Israel, Esq.

 

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE:

Sally Hawkins — The Shape of Water

Frances McDormand — Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Margot Robbie — I, Tonya

Saoirse Ronan — Lady Bird

Meryl Streep — The Post

 

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE:

Willem Dafoe — The Florida Project

Woody Harrelson — Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Richard Jenkins — The Shape of Water

Christopher Plummer — All the Money in the World

Sam Rockwell — Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

 

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE:

Mary J. Blige — Mudbound

Allison Janney — I, Tonya

Lesley Manville — Phantom Thread

Laurie Metcalf — Lady Bird

Octavia Spencer — The Shape of Water

 

DOCUMENTARY (FEATURE):

Abacus: Small Enough to Jail — Steve James, Mark Mitten, Julie Goldman

Faces Places — Agnès Varda, JR and Rosalie Varda

Icarus — Bryan Fogel, Dan Cogan

Last Men in Aleppo — Feras Fayyad, Kareem Abeed, Søren Steen Jespersen

Strong Island — Yance Ford, Joslyn Barnes

 

DOCUMENTARY (SHORT SUBJECT):

Edith + Eddie — Laura Checkoway, Thomas Lee Wright

Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405 — Frank Stiefel

Heroin(e) — Elaine McMilion Sheldon, Kerrin Sheldon

Knife Skills — Thomas Lennon

Traffic Stop — Kate Davis, David Heilbroner

 

LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM:

DeKalb Elementary — Reed Van Dyk

The Eleven O’Clock — Derin Seale, Josh Lawson

My Nephew Emmett — Kevin Wilson Jr.

The Silent Child — Chris Overton, Rachel Shenton

Watu Wote / All of Us — Katja Benrath, Tobias Rosen

 

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM:

The Boss Baby — Tom McGrath, Ramsey Naito

The Breadwinner — Nora Twomey, Anthony Leo

Coco — Lee Unkrich, Darla K. Anderson

Ferdinand — Carlos Saldanha

Loving Vincent — Dorota Kobiela, Hugh Welchman, Ivan Mactaggart

 

ANIMATED SHORT FILM:

Dear Basketball — Glen Keane, Kobe Bryant

Garden Party — Victor Claire, Gabriel Grapperon

Lou — Dave Mullins, Dana Murray

Negative Space — Max Porter, Ru Kuwahata

Revolting Rhymes — Jakob Schuh, Jan Lachauer

 

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM:

A Fantastic Woman — Sebastián Lelio, Chile

The Insult — Ziad Doueiri, Lebanon

Loveless — Andrey Zvyagintsev, Russia

On Body and Soul — Ildikó Enyedi, Hungary

The Square — Ruben Östlund, Sweden

 

CINEMATOGRAPHY:

Blade Runner 2049 — Roger A. Deakins

Darkest Hour — Bruno Delbonnel

Dunkirk — Hoyte van Hoytema

Mudbound — Rachel Morrison

The Shape of Water — Dan Laustsen

 

PRODUCTION DESIGN:

Beauty and the Beast — Sarah Greenwood, Katie Spencer

Blade Runner 2049 — Dennis Gassner, Alessandra Querzola

Darkest Hour – Sarah Greenwood, Katie Spencer

Dunkirk — Nathan Crowley, Gary Fettis

The Shape of Water — Paul Denham Austerberry, Shane Vieau, Jeff Melvin

 

VISUAL EFFECTS:

Blade Runner 2049

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Kong: Skull Island

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

War for the Planet of the Apes

 

FILM EDITING:

Baby Driver — Paul Machliss, Jonathan Amos

Dunkirk — Lee Smith

I, Tonya — Tatiana S. Riegel

The Shape of Water — Sidney Wolinsky

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri — Jon Gregory

 

COSTUME DESIGN:

Beauty and the Beast — Jacqueline Durran

Darkest Hour — Jacqueline Durran

Phantom Thread — Mark Bridges

The Shape of Water — Luis Sequeira

Victoria & Abdul — Consolata Boyle

 

MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING:

Darkest Hour — Kazuhiro Tsuji, David Malinowski, Lucy Sibbick

Victoria & Abdul — Daniel Phillips, Lou Sheppard

Wonder — Arden Tuiten

 

ORIGINAL SCORE:

Dunkirk — Hans Zimmer

Phantom Thread — Jonny Greenwood

The Shape of Water — Alexandre Desplat

Star Wars: The Last Jedi — John Williams

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri — Carter Burwell

 

ORIGINAL SONG:

“Mighty River” — Mudbound, Mary J. Blige, Raphael Saadiq, Taura Stinson

“Mystery of Love” — Call Me By Your Name, Sufjan Stevens

“Remember Me” — Coco, Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Robert Lopez

“Stand Up for Something” — Marshall, Diane Warren, Lonnie R. Lynn

“This is Me” — The Greatest Showman, Benj Pasek, Justin Paul

 

SOUND EDITING:

Baby Driver — Julian Slater

Blade Runner 2049 — Mark Mangini, Theo Green

Dunkirk — Richard King, Alex Gibson

The Shape of Water — Nathan Robitaille, Nelson Ferreira

Star Wars: The Last Jedi — Matthew Wood, Ren Klyce

 

SOUND MIXING:

Baby Driver — Julian Slater, Tim Cavagin, Mary H. Ellis

Blade Runner 2049— Ron Bartlett, Doug Hemphill, Mac Ruth

Dunkirk — Mark Weingarten, Gregg Landaker, Gary A. Rizzo

The Shape of Water — Christian Cooke, Bran Zoern, Glen Gauthier

Star Wars: The Last Jedi — David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce, Stuart Wilson

A Tribute to Sean(s) on his Birthday

Today is Sean’s birthday and since I prefer giving experiences to things, we’re in New Orleans, toasting his encroaching death. As if this spectacular city isn’t enough, we’re also here to see Sean’s favourite team defeat the local Pelicans. We’ve seen the Golden State Warriors play numerous times over the years, not bad for people who live 2900 miles away, though never, oddly enough, in the golden state itself, though we have been there, for my birthday. Last year we celebrated Sean’s birthday in Hawaii, and the year before that in Whistler, and before that I honestly can’t even remember, which is embarrassing. Mexico, maybe?

Anyway, since I praised the virtues of his particular vintage last year, I thought this year we could celebrate with a tribute to all the famous Seans worthy of the name. Sean is an Irish name of course, and my Sean will be horrified to know it’s derived from the French, Jean, or John as we know him in English. The meaning of the name Sean is ‘Irish God is gracious, or gift from God’, and I’m not even rolling my eyes as I type that (oh wait yes I am).

Sean Bean: Sean has always had an affinity for this guy and I’ve always been suspicious of the fact that his name doesn’t rhyme. Today I’m downright 9992b72c6cacfa598de9845a090eb2c168900a2774a8b5b1cb6aa069ed0727fddisappointed to learn that Sean is just some Hollywood affectation and that his legal name at birth was merely Shaun. He’s an imposter! But he’s been in lots of the exact kinds of shitty movies that my Sean adores – The Lord of the Rings, for example, which inspired a gag in The Martian that my Sean laughed heartily at while simultaneously half-heartedly explaining it to me and basically telling me to never mind. But basically Sean Bean is the guy who dies a lot – tied with Bela Lugosi, with about 0.32 deaths per film. Although, I find it noteworthy that he’s also the guy who (in real life) marries a lot – 5 times so far!

Sean Astin: Fun fact: Bean and Astin have matching tattoos – the number 9 in honour of their being one of the original nine companions of the Fellowship of the Ring. For pretend. So far it seems that Seans are quite nerdy. The good news is he’s a Sean for real (although he was born with the last name Duke, being Patty Duke’s illegitimate son, later adopted by her then-husband John Astin) which is a relief because we wouldn’t want our Sean to have to reconsider his stance on The Goonies after all these years. And what better way to rock the 80s vibe than to cast Sean Astin as the goofy stepdad in Stranger Things? Very glad to see him pop up there, and kind of horrified about the rest.

Sean Young: Another imposter of sorts – Sean is a middle name and Mary is her actual given name. Good grief! No doubt she wangled her way into young Sean’s heart by appearing in Stripes, and then Blade Runner (and is credited in Villeneuve’s sequel as an acting coach to the new Rachel) but Sean Young also has a long history gal_cw_sean-young (1)of batshit crazy. Her role in Wall Street was drastically reduced over clashing repeatedly with Oliver Stone. She was sued by James Woods for harassment, and is said to have left a disfigured doll on his doorstep. She lost a role in Tim Burton’s Batman when she broke her arm during rehearsals and tried to win the role of Catwoman with a homemade costume and the stalking of Burton and Micheal Keaton. She also lost a role in Dick Tracy, this time, she claims, because she rebuffed Warren Beatty. Lately she’s been relegated to soap operas and reality TV (she was first to be voted off skating with the stars) so this is one Sean who isn’t living up to the name.

Sean Penn: A legit Sean but also a somewhat nutty one, he’s credited with popularizing the word dude thanks to Fast Times at Ridgemont High and he’s appointed himself ambassador to everywhere, visiting Iraq, Iran, Pakistan, Haiti, even New Orleans after hurricane Katrina, and while his diplomacy may be doing some good, he’s not exactly diplomatic. He got in trouble with the UK when he appeared to take Argentina’s side in the Faulkland Islands debate, and he shocked the world by declaring Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez his friend – and condemning those who call him dictator. And of course he’s in hot water with Mexico for his secretive El Chapo interview. That would be enough for 5 political careers, and let’s remember that his actual career is actor – he’s been in 50 movies and earned 2 Oscars.

Sean Gunn: To understand the core difference between Sean and I, all you need to download (2)know is that for me, Sean Gunn is that guy from Gilmore Girls, and for Sean, he’s part of the Marvel universe. His brother is film maker James Gunn, and when James Gunn, director of Guardians of the Galaxy, needed a stand-in for the part of the wily racoon Rocket, he called up his little brother Sean. It was Sean who wore the green suit and did all the hard work, and Bradley Cooper who gets all the credit for having voiced him. Luckily, Sean also won the part of Kraglin, Yondu’s second in command, so he isn’t left out.

Sean Baker: Just a small word about a newish director we’ve come to really admire. We discovered him only recently, with Tangerine, a movie strikingly different and incredibly moving. Baker has a knack for presenting the real underbelly of life in a way that’s both authentic and hopeful. He explores that even further with The Florida Project. Whereas Tangerine charms you, sits in your lap and purrs in your ear, The Florida Project takes you by the hand, asks you to become a part of it. It’s very effective film making, and he’s an invigorating director to watch.

Sean Connery: I’ve saved the best for last. This Sean is Scottish of course, and proud of it. He joined the Royal Navy and was a bodybuilder in his youth – he even had the offer to play soccer professionally but understood that he’d have a longer career in acting, and boy was he right. Ian Fleming was originally unconvinced about Connery playing Bond, thinking him too rough and muscular, but was so persuaded by Dr. No he actually changed Bond’s background to reflect Connery’s. But Connery himself was never sure about succumbing to a franchise and eventually grew bored – his 1QcjG02s6ZQG6TdOUS3xmywclose friend Michael Caine knew better than to even mention it at the time. Despite saying ‘never again’ (ring any bells, Daniel Craig?), he came back for one more, wryly titled Never Say Never Again – and he had his wrist broken by a fight choreographer named Steven Seagal. His career spanned much more than just James Bond but here’s a little tidbit for you: he could have joined the Sean club in the Lord of the Ring series and turned down 15% of global receipts to play Gandalf (which would have netted something like $400M). The one thing he can’t do is accents, and oddly enough, neither can my Sean. Well that’s not entirely true, it’s just that no matter what accent Sean is attempting, he always sounds like Penelope Cruz. Connery is happily retired these days, so we salute him, and his impressive movie catalogue.

Happy birthday to my Sean, a Sean among Seans.

 

 

 

Nicolas Cage: Man of Mystery

So, Nicolas Cage. How to talk about Hollywood’s favourite nut job? I’ve never been on the Cage train myself, he always rubbed me the wrong way, like an overzealous hairy uncle that I just don’t trust. But it’s less fun to dislike him now that everyone else does too. The poor guy just unraveled. His movies all flopped at the same time, his money ran out, and it turns out that money and success really were the only things hiding his extremely bizarre personality from the rest of the world. He’s the kind of guy who, when his cat accidentally gets high on shrooms, does them too, to keep him company (yes, that really happened). When playing a traumatized vet in Birdy, he had a dentist pull teeth without anesthetic so he could “understand real pain” because a) dental procedures are comparable to the horrors of war and b) he’s such a bad actor that he couldn’t just pretend to be in pain. He diets according to sex, and not the way you’re thinking: he only eats animals whose mating he finds “dignified” like birds and fish. If he finds their sex to be unattractive, he can’t bear to eat their meat. He once woke up to discover a man, completely naked except for Cage’s leather jacket, sitting on the foot of his bed eating a Fudgesicle. And of course, he spends money like a legit crazy person. He owns or has owned: albino king cobras (yes, plural), a t-rex skull (he outbid Leo fair and square!), a pet octopus that helped him with his acting, a private island next door to Johnny Depp’s private island (sounds like a bad neighbourhood already), and the Shah of Iran’s Lamborghini.

But that’s not all. As you may have heard, Sean and I are in New Orleans this week and Nicolas Cage has some pretty infamous ties to the town. Of course, owing the IRS $6.6 million in back taxes meant some of his properties needed to be sold, and those included his New Orleans real estate. One of those houses was a murder mansion. It was once home to Madame LaLaurie, a wealthy socialite who tortured and 7adb4-cage_lalaurie_picsmurdered her household slaves in the 1800s. She was discovered in 1834 when rescuers responding to a fire at the home found bound slaves in the attic who showed marks of someone having been cruelly tortured over a long period of time – I’m talking people hanging by the neck, mutilated, limbs stretch or torn right off. The fire was later confessed to have been started by the cook, chained to the oven by a chain around her ankle, in a suicide attempt. Outraged, a New Orleans mob stormed the house but LaLaurie fled to the safety of France. If that sounds at all familiar, you may have seen Kathy Bates play a fictionalized version of her on American Horror Story. Unsurprisingly, the mansion is said to be haunted by the ghosts of the dead slaves, including a young girl who fell to her death fleeing LaLaurie’s whip and was buried in the back yard. It may not be a place you’d choose to lay your head for the night, but Nicolas Cage plunked down $3.45M for it.

The second home is much less spectacular in reputation but quite delightful for fa740-cage_prytania_picsliving in it, I would think. At 13 000 square feet in the prestigious garden district, it was once owned by the catholic church, who took to calling it the Our Mother of Perpetual Help Chapel. And then Anne Rice owned it. And then Nicolas Cage, possibly for the nights when sleeping in the blood-soaked house mentioned above got too intense. It’s nice to have an unhaunted backup house just in case. It was actually rumoured that he and his family actually lived in the house next door to this one, and thus owned three properties, because sometimes two is not enough. At any rate, “economic difficulties” led to their sale\foreclosure and now he owns no homes in New Orleans but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t own a place to rest his weary bones.

Just as his homes were being sold, he was busy purchasing a cemetery plot. And not just any cemetery, but New Orleans’ most famous one St. Louis Cemetery No. 1. It’s home to the Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau, who is said to haunt it. Because the water table is so high in New Orleans, the tombs are all above ground, and leave it to Nicolas Cage to take advantage: he’s built himself a pyramid tomb that reads Omni img_4195-nicholas-cage-tomb-omnia-ab-uno-everything-from-one-1024x768Ab Uno, Latin for Everything From One. Now, it’s entirely possible that the IRS just can’t foreclose on a tomb. And some New Orleans locals think it’s also possible that the pyramid is stuffed to the gills with cash. The rest of us just wonder whether the pyramid is a tribute to his role in National Treasure, whether the dollar bill has a secret map that would unlock its door, or whether he’s just mixed up in some Illuminati shit. And maybe, just maybe, his flamboyant, 9 foot tall pyramid mausoleum is where he’ll regenerate his immortal self. Some of the locals aren’t too crazy about this eye sore in their historic cemetery, but female tourists have embraced it – literally, leaving lipstick kisses on its walls. To find out if I’ll do the same, why not follow our travel adventures on Twitter – @assholemovies.

 

Harrison Ford

So I’m watching the Joan Didion documentary on Netflix the other day and who pops up but Harrison Ford. Double take. Harrison Ford?

Harrison Ford was born in Chicago in 1942. His paternal grandparents were Irish Catholic and his maternal grandparents were Jewish immigrants from Minsk. When asked which religion he was raised in, he often answers “Democrat” but if you press him, “As a man I’ve always felt Irish, as an actor I’ve always felt Jewish.”

Ford was active in the Boy Scouts of America and earned its second-highest rank, Life Scout, which is how Indiana Jones came to have the same rank in The Last Crusade. He worked at Napowan Adventure Base Scout Camp as a counselor for the Reptile Study merit badge. No wonder he was a “late bloomer.”

He studied philosophy at Ripon College in Wisconsin and took a drama class in his senior year as a way to get over his shyness. He caught the acting bug and moved to 727f29dfc0dc6a384507c9b1f560298c--harrison-ford-young-harrison-ford-carpenterL.A. but it was a long, long time before the acting bug caught him back. He had a contract where he did a lot of background and bit parts, and most of those are lost to the either; his first known role is of course uncredited but he played a bellhop in Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round (1966). His first credited role was a year later in the western A Time For Killing – he appears as Harrison J. Ford. He needed the initial to distinguish himself from a dead silent film star but in fact, Harrison does not have a middle name and so the J. stood for nothing and was soon dropped.

Frustrated with the crappy roles, Ford became a self-taught carpenter (he had a wife and two sons to support). He became a stagehand for a little band you may have heard of, The Doors, and he built a sun deck for actress Sally Kellerman, a recording studio for Brazilian band leader Sergio Mendes, and did a home renovation for, ahem, Joan Didion, with whom he remained close friends. He also expanded an office for a certain Francis Ford Coppola who then found roles for him in his next two films, The Conversation (1974) and Apocalypse Now (1979) in which he played an army officer named “G. Lucas.”

Coincidence or not (not), George Lucas hired Harrison Ford  – get this – to read lines with actors who were auditioning for his next film, Star Wars. Lucas was won over by Ford’s excellent line reading and eventually offered him the part of Han Solo, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher on Fifth Ave outside The Plawhich would make him a star of a franchise that has now spanned 5 decades. Jesus. He was paid somewhere in the neighbourhood of $20M for the last installment, plus a 0.5% share of revenues; he was paid $10k for the first one, and was glad to have it.

Then of course came Indy. Spielberg wanted him from the get go, but Lucas, having just worked with him in both American Graffiti and Star Wars, preferred Tom Selleck. Selleck fell through and another iconic role landed in Ford’s lap, not to mention another decades-spanning franchise (with another scheduled for 2020 – with a new Blade Runner currently in theatres, this guy has to hold the record for the most absurdly spaced sequels ever).

Sequels are a theme common to his personal life as well – he is, after all, on his third wife. He was married to Mary from 1964-1979 and they had two sons, Benjamin and Willard. Then came Melissa (who wrote the script for E.T. – Harrison had a cameo as the school principal but it was cut), married from 1983-2001, with whom had two more kids, Malcolm and Georgia. Presently he’s with #3, Calista Flockhart, whom he met at the 2002 Golden Globes. He got around to proposing on Valentine’s day 2009 and they were married in June 2010 in Santa Fe, because that’s where he was filming Cowboys & Aliens at the time. They coparent her adopted son Liam together. He’s got 3 grandkids.

Harrison Ford has adopted many interests. From the set of Indiana Jones, he took up an interest in archaeology and now serves as a General Trustee on the Governing Harrison-Ford-Calista-Flockhart-Cute-PicturesBoard of the Archaeological Institute of America. He’s also the  vice-chair of Conservation International, an American nonprofit environmental organization, which as led to two species being named after him: a newly discovered spider now called Calponia harrisonfordi, and an ant henceforth known as Pheidole harrisonfordi. He also got to name a butterfly, and he named it after his daughter, Georgia.

He’s also really into flying. He’s a pilot, licensed to fly planes and helicopters. He’s got a big ole ranch in Jackson Wyoming – 800 acres, although he’s donated half as a nature preserve. Local authorities often call on him to pilot rescues for distressed hikers (one such rescue was later mortified she learned she’d barfed in Harrison Ford’s plane). He started his training in the 1960s but couldn’t afford the $15\hour cost; it wasn’t until the mid-90s when he bought himself a used plane and asked his pilot to give him lessons. This time his money held out until he was a confident pilot. He’s had a few critical incidents; in 2015 he broke his ankle and his pelvis in an accident. Not to make light, but he’s also been injured on the Millennium Falcon, and that one was definitely grounded at the time.

Harrison Ford has been nominated for an Oscar just once, for Witness, but lost to William Hurt.

Star Wars costar Alec Guinness could never remember his name:  “I must off to studio and work with a dwarf (very sweet – and he has to wash in a bidet) and your fellow countrymen Mark Hamill and Tennyson (that can’t be right) Ford. Ellison (? – No!) – well, a rangy, languid young man who is probably intelligent and amusing. But Oh, God, God, they make me feel ninety – and treat me as if I was 106. Oh, Harrison Ford – ever heard of him?”

After having lunch with friend Jimmy Buffett, Ford found himself jealous of his stud. So, at the age of 55, he went to the mall and had his ear pierced at Claire’s Accessories, just like all the 11 year old girls. Speaking of Jimmy Buffett, Ford once provided whip cracking sound effects on Buffett’s song Desperation Samba (Halloween in Tijuana).

The Mosquito Coast is his favourite of his own films.

He is credited with “creating” a fan favourite scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) because he was suffering from a bout of dysentery at the time of filming: during the scene in Cairo with the swordsman in black, the script called for a much longer fight, but because he was sick, he quietly asked director Steven Spielberg if they could shorten the scene. Spielberg’s reply was that the only way it could be done would be if Indy pulled out his gun and “just shot the guy”. The rest of the crew, unaware of the change, laughed heartily, and it made the cut.

He plays golf with Bill Clinton and went to high school with Hilary.

Harrison Ford turned down a part in Jurassic Park, which went to Sam Neill. He turned down Kurt Russell’s part in Vanilla Sky. He turned down Schindler’s List. He turned down the role of Mike Stivic on All in the Family, citing the bigotry of Archie Bunker was too offensive. He turned down the Jack Ryan role in The Hunt for Red October. Dragonfly (2002) was written specifically for him but he turned that one down too. He turned down Michael Douglas’s role in Traffic. He turned down Proof of Life, The Perfect Storm, JFK, Dick Tracy, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and The Patriot because it was too violent. He turned down Syriana, and that’s the one he regrets.

 

 

 

How They Met: Stories Behind Famous Couples

In 2003, Matt Damon was in Miami shooting Stuck on You (he plays Greg Kinnear’s conjoined twin). It was supposed to have shot in Hawaii but the location was changed last minute and Damon was a lot less familiar with Miami. One night the crew convinced 00-matt-damon-luciana-barrosohim to join them for a drink, and that was it. Literally from across a crowded bar, he looked up and saw her. She was the bartender that night, separated but technically still married to someone else, with a young daughter at home. But he knew. They were married in December 2005 at city hall, at 9 in the morning because he was expected on the set of The Good Shepherd that night, and production was moving to Europe the next day. She went with him, and so did the unborn baby in her belly. Ben Affleck was unable to attend – Jennifer Garner had just given birth the week before. Three daughters have joined the elder one from Luciana’s previous relationship so now Matt Damon is happily surrounded by women. In 2013, ten years after they first met, they held a lavish vow renewal in St Lucia with 50 guests, including Affleck, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Messina, Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Gus Van Sant, Chelsea Clinton, and Stanley Tucci (fun fact: Tucci is married to Blunt’s sister, Felicity]. Jimmy Kimmel officiated.

In the 1970s, Tom Hanks remembers being a kid at his friend’s house, watching The gallery-1452197593-tom-rita-volunteersBrady Bunch, when a girl guest starring as a cheer-leader caught his eye. She was 16 and so was he. He thought she was cute. He didn’t meet Rita Wilson in person until 1981 when she had a guest role on his sitcom, Bosom Buddies. Hanks was married to someone else at the time, and her character ended up with Tom’s costar, Peter Scolari. But fate threw them 324451C900000578-0-image-m-7_1458170786580together in 1985 on the set of Volunteers where the attraction was so strong that Hanks left his wife even though he admits that had they met in high school “I wouldn’t have had the courage to speak to you.” They married in 1988, have 2 sons together (plus Tom’s 2 kids from his first marriage). In 2015 they weathered Rita’s breast cancer diagnosis and remain a totally strong couple that’s all kinds of #goals.

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard first met in 2007 at a birthday party. Their meeting was “not electric” (her words) – no sparks, no interest on either side. He was suspicious of her “unbridled happiness.” But two weeks later she was at a hockey game (Kings vs Red Wings) with her Veronica Mars castmate\roommate Ryan Hansen and she saw him with a mutual acquaintance. 36908E2D00000578-3706107-image-a-1_1469400447589Apparently this time, it took. They fell madly in love and nauseated each other with their mushiness, but their personalities were quite different. Kristen is sweet and generous, and Dax had a long history of bad decisions and addictions. He was already sober when they met, but she was insecure as to whether he could really step up. They went to couples therapy obsessively and weathered the storm. They famously refused to marry before it was legal for everyone to marry, but once that hurdle was crossed, they speed-walked right to the court house to get themselves a license. A judge just happened to be available, so why not, they tied the knot right then and there, having spent about $140. Friends met them later with a cake that said World’s Worst Wedding in frosting, but Bell and Shepard never looked back.

John Krasinski thought he might quit acting when he had his big break – he was cast on The Office, and he moved to L.A. In 2006, he went to the movies expecting to see 159270240_emily-blunt-john-krasinski-zoom-3cde631c-7e21-4382-9e84-75e9969cab4bSuperman Returns, but when it was sold out, he and his buddy saw The Devil Wears Prada instead. He claims to have watched the film 50 times before meeting his future wife, Emily Blunt, who stars in the film, in 2008. As he describes it: It was one of those things where I wasn’t really looking for a relationship and I was thinking I’m going to take my time in L.A. Then I met her and I was so nervous. I was like, “Oh god, I think I’m going to fall in love with her.” As I shook her hand I went, “I like you.” But he felt so far out of his league that he was sure it could never work, and almost blew the first date, on which he took her to a gun range. But she stuck it out, and when he proposed, they both wound up crying. Now they’ve got 2 daughters and lots of celebrity double dates: they vacation with the Kimmels and dine with George and Amal.

Matthew Broderick was the youngest actor to receive a Tony but of course it was landing the lead role in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off that made him a household name and allowed him to go back to his first love, the theatre, this time as a director. One of his actors felt 65110102b3c437394a37f16cda4e6020Broderick would be perfect for his sister, so he made the introductions. It took Matthew three months after meeting Sarah Jessica Parker to actually ask her out, over the phone, and on their first date, she was so nervous she talked a mile a minute while he sat stunned and silent. They wed in 1997, she in a black wedding dress because the guests all thought they were attending a party. They have three kids together and though she’s currently the star of a new show called Divorce, they celebrated their 20th anniversary together this spring.

Goldie Hawn met Kurt Russell on the set of The One and article-2209534-153CC875000005DC-578_468x358Only, Genuine, Original Family Band (blink and you’ll miss her). She was 21 at the time, and he just 16. She thought he was cute and interesting but much too young. Luckily, fate intervened and 15 years later they met on another film set, Swing Shift. Kurt was hungover at the audition and immediately regretted the first thing he said to her: ‘Man, you’ve got a great figure.’ She was magnanimous. This time their age gap seemed inconsequential. They never married but after more than 3 decades together, I think it’s Kurt and Goldie forever.

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Who’s your favourite celebrity couple?

 

TIFF’s Famous Dates

George-Amal-Clooney-Venice-Film-Festival-2017George and Amal Clooney welcomed their twins Ella and Alexander in June (at the same hospital where Kate and William’s royal children were born), so people were ecstatic to see them looking terribly in love at the Venice Film Festival in early September. George was there promoting his directorial effort, Suburbicon, starring pal Matt Damon. Clooney has a home on Lake Como (in Italy) where he retreats from the world every summer. It’s where he brought his newborn twins home this summer, and where a paparazzo snuck in to take surreptitious pictures of the babies at their most vulnerable. He started coming to Lake Como 16 years ago, when he and his friend Rande Gerber (Cindy Crawford’s husband) stumbled on the Villa Oleandra while george-clooney-villa-oleandracrisscrossing Italy on their motorbikes. After one of the bikes broke down outside its gates, the owners ushered them in and proceeded to sell Clooney their house for $7.5 million. And it was in Italy where George first met Amal and it was in beautiful Venice itself where they later wed. After the Venice Film Festival, Clooney and family flew to his hometown of Kentucky to show off the twins to his father, who’d been 1297989661099_ORIGINALtoo ill to travel to meet them overseas. Then, sadly, George had to put down his beloved dog Einstein (who co-starred with him in an ad campaign for Omega watches in 2015) in L.A., before dashing back up to Toronto for TIFF, without wife Amal or darling babies.

Another new mum TIFF goers were eager to carey-mulligan-3e906d22-ef3a-484c-9e91-b0398151d67aspot was Carey Mulligan. She made her first public appearance since having her second child in August. Her husband, Marcus Mumford (frontman for Mumford & Sons), stayed home with the kids while she graced TIFF with her presence; she was there for her new film, Mudbound.

 

 

Image_uploaded_from_iOS__2__0006_2017-09-12_09.53.14_2Annette Bening, who was the jury president in Venice, was at TIFF to promote her new film, Film Stars Don’t Die In Liverpool in which she plays a Hollywood leading lady who catches the interest of a much younger actor, played by Jamie Bell. Both stars brought their famous counterparts: Warren Beatty and Bening have been married since 1992, whilst Jamie Bell and wife Kate Mara have been married all of 2 months. Incidentally, Bell walked the red 2017-09-10_05.07.09_2carpet in kind at the premiere of Mara’s TIFF offering, Chappaquiddick.

2017-09-09_07_0002_Background.jpgAmelia Warner walked the TIFF red carpet. She’s the composer for the new Mary Shelley reincarnation starring Elle Fanning. Her famous date: husband Jamie Dornan. Married for 4 years, they have 2 kids together, who were evidently being babysat elsewhere while Mom and Dad enjoy a glamourous night out.

The Mother! premiere was full of famous dates: star Penelope-Cruz-Javier-Bardem-Venice-Film-Festival-2017Jennifer Lawrence is currently dating her director, Darren Aronofsky (they are usually careful to sneak one or more costars between themselves when taking group photos).  Her co-star Javier Bardem is married to the lovely Penelope Cruz (7 years and counting). Bardem and Cruz star together in a film on offer at the Venice Film Festival, Loving Pablo. And let’s not forget Michelle Pfeiffer and her longtime 843077622partner, David E. Kelley, who accompanied his wife to her photo call in Venice and then she in turn went to the Emmys with him, where the show he was writing for, Big Little Lies, scored some major gold.

Nicole Kidman always has some heavy weight nicole-kidman-cannes-24may17-10arm candy. Her husband, Keith Urban, was on hand for the TIFF premiere of The Killing of a Sacred Deer, and was also by her side at said Emmys (she was nominated and won for her work on the very same Big Little Lies – it’s very good, you should watch).

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2017-09-11_01_0013_2017-09-11_08.25.40_1Alicia Vikander attended the TIFF premiere of Euphoria solo (she was also there with Submergence), but last year she and her boyfriend Michael Fassbender were all over TIFF red carpets since they starred together in The Light Between Oceans.

Also flying solo this year: Jason Sudeikis, who stars in Kodachrome with Elizabeth Olsen and Ed Harris, and appears in Downsizing alongside Matt Damon as well. His better (and prettier) half, Olivia Wilde, stayed home with the kids.rachel-rachel-tiff-11sept17-01

No word on where Daniel Craig was hiding this year but he wasn’t on the arm of his lovely wife Rachel Weisz, who was there for Disobedience, her new film costarring next to Rachel McAdams, even though Craig himself appeared in another TIFF selection, Kings.

I did get to spot Sam Rockwell on the TIFF red carpet for Three Billboards Outside woodshock_050917_03-777x560Ebbing, Missouri and of course in Venice, where he posed with his wife Leslie Bibb, even though I didn’t know until I saw them together that they were together. I know her from all the way back on Popular (and on The League, where she plays Mark Duplass’s nasty ex-wife), but you may have seen her more recently in To The Bone. In this photo, Rockwell’s Three Billboards costar Woody Harrelson poses with his wife, Laura Louie.

I spied Dave Franco on the red carpet for The Disaster Artist, a real family affair. His James+Franco+Dave+Franco+Day+Three+IMDb+Studio+-tqDqQZ9XDFlbrother James directs and co-stars, and their other brother Tom Franco also appears (briefly!). So does Dave’s very new wife, Alison Brie – she plays his sometime girlfriend.

Greta Gerwig debuted her first solo directorial effort at TIFF this year and her partner let her lap up all the attention on her own, but in other years she and beau Noah Baumbach have 2017 Toronto International Film Festival - "Lady Bird" Premiereattended together – particularly when they’ve done a movie together, like Mistress America. This year, Greta posed alongside some of her Lady Bird leading ladies: Lois Smith, Odeya Rush, and Beanie Feldstein (left) who has a famous sibling rather than a famous date – Jonah Hill is her big brother.

 

We’ve had a very crazy month, having attended 3 festivals in as many weeks, and we’re about to do it again in October, so stay tuned. For now, here are a few snaps from Sean and Jay’s big adventure in Venice.