We Can Be Heroes

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Robert Rodriguez has two very different speeds when it comes to making movies: ultra violent, and children’s action-adventure. These may seem fairly disparate, but I think Rodriguez has just tapped into the truth that grown men and small children want pretty much the same things when it comes to movies, though one demographic wants a generous side of boob a little more than the other. The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl 3-D was my first Robert Rodriguez movie; imagine my surprise when years later I discovered his oeuvre wasn’t all spy kids and junior super heroes.

We Can Be Heroes is Rodriguez’s newest film, a family-friendly one for Netflix. It’s not about super heroes, though it does have plenty of them in it, including Rodriguez’s old friends, Lavagirl and Sharkboy, who are now all grown up (the original Lavagirl Taylor Dooley returns, but Taylor Lautner is replaced by JJ Dashnaw) and fighting as part of the Heroics team, which includes Miracle Man (Boyd Holbrook) and Tech-no (Christian Slater, for some reason), and is led by Marcus (Pedro Pascal) from his office. Marcus doesn’t fight anymore, a promise he made to his daughter Missy (YaYa Gosselin) due to his single-father status. But when aliens invade, the first thing they do is round up and neutralize all the super heroes, leaving behind only their children, who take it upon themselves to save the day. Missy is the rare super hero offspring who seems to have no powers of her own, but is a natural born leader – a challenge to Wild Card (Nathan Blair) who is technically able to assume any power but lacks the focus to do so reliably. Also in their little gang: Noodles (Lyon Daniels), a tween who can stretch his limbs to Elastigirl limits; Wheels (Andy Walken), a kid in a wheel with a predictable nickname who’s actually as strong as he is smart; Ojo (Hala Finley), a girl whose strange drawings seem to predict the near-future; twins Rewind (Isaiah Russell-Bailey) and Fast Forward (Akira Akbar) who can do with time exactly as their names suggest; Facemaker (Andrew Diaz), who can rearrange his features a la Mr. Potato Head; Slo-Mo (Dylan Henry Lau), whose super questionable skill is doing everything very slowly; A Capella (Lotus Blossom), whose song notes can make things levitate; and little Guppy (Vivien Blair), the adorable offspring of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, who can move and manipulate water.

Their parents, the real super-heroes, were captured because they failed to work together. Their squabbles broke the team up and left them vulnerable. Their kids will have to learn to do better, to make their special skills complement each other’s if there’s to be any chance of saving the earth from alien domination. To make matters worse, Heroics HQ is headed by Ms. Granada (Priyanka Chopra Jonas), whose motivations are questionable. Who can they trust and how will they save the world? And how will they manage to carry out such an important mission on their very first? You’ll have to watch to find out, but suffice to say, kids in the audience will likely be pleased. Adults not so much. The kid acting is nothing to write home about. Missy, the lead, is inconsistent, and A Capella, the singer, is downright annoying, a smug little shit who can’t stop hogging the spotlight. Noodles and Guppy are quite watchable though, with Guppy especially cute when she goes into “shark frenzy” when she loses her temper.

I applaud the attempt to come up with some half-way original super powers as most grown up movies don’t even do that. They’re not all winners, but everyone gets at least one moment in the sun. And there’s a training montage that I know is going to be a huge hit for at least four boys that I know, two of whom just got obstacle course stuff (like slack lines) so they can do ‘ninja warrior’ training at home, and two of whom already have a course or two set up thanks to their intrepid grandfather who grants all kinds of adventure wishes. This movie makes their super hero fantasies a reality, and it validates their contributions, present and future, to society. When so many forces tell them they’ll have to wait to grow up, this movie tells them they’re valuable, resourceful, and capable right now – and that’s the kind of soul food that nourishes their dreams, even if the packaging seems kind of corny and uninspired to you and I. So while We Can Be Heroes isn’t a great movie, it’s destined to be kid-approved, and might even inform their play and pretend for the rest of their holidays, which means less work for you! That’s what we call a win-win.

Soul

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Joe (Jamie Foxx) has jazz music in his soul and zero dollars in his bank account. His mother likes to brutally remind him of this little fact, and push him toward accepting a permanent position as a middle school music teacher. Just as he’s about to capitulate, an old student calls to offer him a wildly exciting opportunity to play with the wonderful Dorothea Williams. Ms. Williams (Angela Bassett) is impressed with his jazzing, and he’s engaged to play with her later that evening. But he doesn’t make it to later that evening; he dies on his way home.

Understandably, his soul panics on the way to heaven, and he decides to buck the system, running away from heaven or the great beyond or whatever you want to call it, but unable to get back to Earth/life. He hides out in a mentorship program instead, posing as a mentor soul assigned to help new souls find their spark. Soul #22 (Tina Fey) has been mentored by the very best for eons but has yet to find her spark. In fact, she expects that life is kind of a buzzkill, and she’s actively resisting it. Joe runs through all the obvious things like music and food, but it’s not until they sneak back down to Earth that things really start to gel for her. Of course, it probably helps that she can finally experience things in a human body, one that moves to music and tastes food and is delighted by the strange wonders of the human world. One small hiccup: in the melee, 22 took over Joe’s body, and Joe’s soul…ended up in a cat. Joe is desperate to make the Dorothea gig, but what use is it if he’s a cat? And 22 is deeply distracted by pretty much every single thing she encounters. She’s finally found her spark, but the problem is, she kind of promised it to Joe. You need a spark to get to Earth permanently, and taking 22’s is Joe’s only option. And until very recently, 22 had no use for a spark and no interest in life. She promised it freely. But now…well, what if 22 wants it too?

This movie is beautiful and tragic because life is beautiful and tragic. It is everything you want from a movie and nothing you expect from a cartoon – except it’s Pixar, so you dare to hope. They’ve done it before. They’ve done it again.

In talking about death, Soul is actually discussing how to live. Joe believes that his life will be fulfilled by achieving his dream of performing jazz, but 22 teaches him there’s plenty of pleasure and wonder to be found in simply living, in taking the time to look, listen, and learn. 22’s naivety and newness to the world inspires Joe to slow down and take a look around as well.

Directors Pete Docter and Kemp Powers are not afraid to embrace the surreal and the intangible when examining the life well-lived, or to ask children to engage in a little introspection. A simple premise allows for a wonderful complexity of ideas embodying Joe’s existential crisis – which may be putting it mildly considering he’s dead and doesn’t want to be. But this spiritual scrutiny is able to include both the joy and the sadness, the fear, regret, obsession, insecurity, and the inspiration, ambition, passion, and life-affirming facets of personal philosophy because Pixar’s trademark playfulness makes it all feel non-threatening and really rather fun.

The voices are well-cast, the entities are well-designed, the movie looks amazing, but most important, it just feels good. It feels right, it feels warm, it feels like a hug from your past self to your future self, and I can’t think of a more perfect (cinematic) way to end the year.

Wonder Woman 1984

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It’s been 70 years since we last saw Diana Prince (Gal Gadot). She’s working at the Smithsonian in cultural anthropology and archeology, she’s doing her hero work on the down-low, and she’s been missing her sweetie, Steve. She’s been missing him for 70 long years.

Her new colleague at work, the meek and self-conscious Barbara (Kristen Wiig), is a gemologist doing a little investigative work for the FBI. The stone itself is worthless, but it claims to be a wish-granter, a dream stone, and both Barbara and Diana make wishes on it before they realize its true potential. Diana, of course, wakes up beside Steve (Chris Pine), but Barbara wakes up cool and powerful and strong, like Diana, although wishing to be like Diana does come with a little more than she bargained for.

Anyway, Max Lord (Pedro Pascal), greedy 80s business man, seemed to know the stone’s possibilities very well, which is why he cozies up to Barbara in order to snatch it. With infinite wishes at his disposal, Lord becomes overwhelmingly powerful and practically unbeatable – especially since the wishes seem to extract something from the wisher, and Diana’s been growing weaker. Barbara, meanwhile, is growing stronger, but also shrewder, meaner. And Lord’s finding ways to increase his reach, taking his avarice international, influencing entire nations, not to mention enemies.

In fighting Max Lord, Wonder Woman is fighting pure greed, corruption, and the world’s obsession with more. Wonder Woman has always been more than capable at taking down villains with her expertly applied kicks and punches and of course her trusty lasso. But how do you fight concepts, ideology, or human nature? This presents an interesting challenge that even Wonder Woman hasn’t seen before.

Gal Gadot is of course absolute perfection as both Diana and Wonder Woman. Having spent the past 70 years among humans, she is of course more jaded, more knowing, but she’s also more human herself, subject to the same loneliness that anyone would be if they’d been grieving for seven decades, and reluctant to get close to anyone because of it. She’s become more familiar with her strength and her abilities, and puts her weapons (tiara, lasso) to greater use. To win, Wonder Woman will have to flex not just her muscle, but also her ingenuity, and harder still, her faith in humanity’s inherent goodness despite plenty of evidence otherwise.

Kristen Wiig is well-cast as Barbara Minerva, a woman who is tired of being overlooked. As she transitions into the film’s co-villain, Cheetah, her confidence and her newfound powers race to outstrip each other, and we see her grow into her new role, wearing her new power like a mantle, like the fur coats she’s begun to adopt.

As for Pedro Pascal, it’s just nice to see his face for once. He understands that Max Lord doesn’t have to be evil to be a great villain. Villains who go around murdering and pillaging are easy to identify and unanimously reviled. But a villain who gives the people what they want will get away with a whole lot more. Since eliminating Lord would also mean negating their own wishes, people like Cheetah, who would otherwise perhaps not be on his side, are willing to fight for him to protect their own interests. Pascal puts a charming face on greed and desire, convincing an awful lot of people to wish for things they probably know they shouldn’t.

Director Patty Jenkins’ action sequences remain divine, but she’s not afraid to remind us that Wonder Woman, unlike some super heroes who shall remain nameless, is about more than just brawn or fancy gadgets; she’s got heart, and not just her own strong sense of right and wrong, but an impressive belief that ultimately humanity will share it and choose it as well.

In flashbacks, we saw a young Diana (Lilly Aspell) competing in Amazonian warrior games, where she learned that she couldn’t win until she was truly ready. What will the grown up Diana be asked to give in order to win, what sacrifices will she make for people who will never know or appreciate it, and how will she fight differently when she actually has something to lose? Seventy years among humans will change a woman, even a Wonder Woman.

If you’re in the U.S., Wonder Woman 1984 is available to stream on HBO Max. In Canada, it’s available as a premium rental. Stick around for a mid-credits scene.

Christmas In Evergreen: Bells Are Ringing

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Just a reminder: Evergreen is not just a Christmas-forward small American town, it’s also the setting of one of Hallmark’s shared universes. The Evergreen series tells different townspeople’s stories, but you’ll almost always see some familiar faces in town.

Michelle (Holly Robinson Peete) is busy putting the finishing touches on her upcoming Christmas Eve wedding and hosting her family from out of town, who are shockingly Christmas-averse. She’s grateful to be able to lean on Hannah (Rukiya Bernard) for the last details of the new museum launch. You won’t be too surprised to find out that Evergreen is indeed opening a Christmas museum (gotta attract that year-round tourism!). Slight hiccup though: Jenny and Josie Cooper have donated their family’s old hat making factory to house the museum, but suddenly their brother Jeb shows up in town to foil the whole thing.

Okay, that’s not exactly the only hiccup. There’s also the fact that Michelle’s fiance seems to be snowed out of town. It’s seeming increasingly unlikely that he’ll make it back in time for his own wedding! Meanwhile, Hannah’s starting to question her own future. She and fiance Elliot (Antonio Cayonne) are one of the town’s romantic success stories, but it seems that he’s got ambitions leading him away from Evergreen – and thus, from her.

Will Michelle be alone at the altar? Will Hannah be alone forever? Will Jeb’s shame about his hat making failure prevent the town from enjoying its museum? You can probably guess the answer to these questions but if you’d like to have your hunches confirmed, be sure to visit the Hallmark channel and watch Christmas in Evergreen: Bells Are Ringing.

A Joyous Christmas

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Self-help author Rachel Kennedy (Natalie Knepp) is in town to promote her new book. After her previous effort’s lackluster sales, her manager is eager to keep her on-brand and brings on event planner Jack (Michael Rady) to help focus their launch. Soon, however, it will be Rachel’s focus that’s wavering, after a kind stranger named Joy (Bonnie Bedelia) saves her life from a brush with death.

Rachel feels drawn to Joy and wants somehow to repay the kindness, but Joy thinks Rachel’s message is rather anti-Christmas and not in the spirit of giving. Joy is, unsurprisingly, quite a charitable soul herself, but her saintly ways don’t impress Rachel’s manager, who thinks Joy is an unwelcome distraction. Jack, however, is quite drawn to Rachel’s orbit and her new zest for helping others. They’ll get to know each other through the usual gateways – decorating gingerbread houses and the like. It’s the Christmas equivalent of putting Ikea furniture together. If your relationship can survive, it, you’re solid gold.

Will Rachel reconnect with the only family she’s got left? What kind of gigantic bug is up her manager’s ass? What sort of tragic back story is Joy hiding? Will Rachel’s book fly off the shelves? Who put the red-headed guy in an orange sweater? And if Jack’s allergic to chocolate, is his life truly worth living?

At Christmas, all things are possible, including forgiveness – forgiving others for their trespasses, and forgiving ourselves for ours.

Christmas Under Wraps

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Lauren (Candace Cameron Bure) has worked very hard her whole life to be able to walk in her father’s footsteps, following him in a surgical fellowship that she ends up very narrowly losing – and of course it was the only one to which she’d applied. Not keen to delay her career by 6 months, and determined to show her mother she’s capable of living outside of her meticulously planned box, she accepts the only fellowship still vacant at such a late date. It’s at a hospital in a small town in Alaska.

As it turns out, she won’t merely be a doctor serving the town’s hospital, she’ll be the sole doctor in the entire town. Her office hours are overrun with people who’ve been saving up their ailments in the absence of a doctor. Good thing the hunky town handyman Andy (David O’Donnell) is so helpful. He’s really showing her the ropes!

Two things, though: 1. although Lauren seems to be settling in quite well as the town’s busy and beloved only doctor, her father keeps pursuing the fellowship back home, so she’s always got at least one foot out the door, and 2. this small Alaskan town seems to be hiding some significant secrets. Will Lauren hang around long enough to find out what it is? Can her new relationship with handy Andy survive if she goes back home? Does doctoring even count if it’s not the kind of doctoring her dad did? Is the only kind of scarf that counts the kind that’s made of wool? These burning questions answered and more when you tune in to the Hallmark channel for Christmas Under Wraps.

A Godwink Christmas: Second Chance, First Love

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I love that Hallmark has developed some shared universes within its catalogue; we discovered it first with the Evergreen series, but the Godwink one has even more entries. Godwinks, just so you know, are those coincidences in life that aren’t coincidences, they’re God pushing you toward something, if only you take the time to listen.

After 15 years away, Pat (Sam Page) moves back home, and in with his mother, with his two young sons. Divorced and having sold his business in Hawaii, he’s a little untethered, looking for a new job and somewhere to put down roots. He does not expect God to intervene, and put him repeatedly into the path of his high school sweetheart, Margie (Brooke D’Orsay). Margie and Pat parted ways after high school because they wanted different things – he wanted adventure and travel, she expected to follow a more traditional and stable life path, college and then committing to a company you could spend the rest of your life working for. Now that they’re being nudged back together, can they possibly find a way to make it work, or are they still too different?

Well, it’s Hallmark, so we already know they’re getting together, but if there was any question, know that her biggest personality quirk is constantly losing pieces of jewelry, and he’s the guy who seems to find it. So it’s practically ordained. It’s just too bad she’ll have to discard a perfectly good boyfriend to do it. Hallmark usually makes the current boyfriend at least a little villainous so we don’t feel bad when she inevitably dumps him, but Scott (Zahf Paroo) seems like a pretty stand-up guy. It almost had me wishing that just this once, Hallmark would surprise us by chucking out the formula and having the leads not magically fall in love with each other in a matter of three short days, but stay with their respective respectable partners and agree to remain very good friends. Just once, Hallmark. Make it happen.

Christmas On Wheels

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Ashley (Tiya Sircar) thought she was fine if her uncle got rid of some of her dead mom’s stuff, but learning that her Mom’s cherry-red vintage convertible, affectionally known as the sleigh, has been sold fills her with unexpected regret. So she does the only thing that makes sense. She enlists the help of her uncle’s attorney/estate appraiser, Duncan (Michael Xavier), to track it down and get it back.

The path toward the car has exactly one twist and one turn, but they’re inspiring enough for Ashley to remember why the car was so special to her and her mother in the first place. As a kid, her mother would fundraise and buy gifts for all the families in need, and make a special delivery on Christmas Eve, the convertible loaded down with cheerfully wrapped presents. Ashley decides to honour her mother’s memory with her own present ride. But with only a few days to raise the money and buy the gifts, how will she make it work? Ashley and Duncan put their heads together not to mention their mutual love of antiques to make this Christmas season one the community won’t soon forget.

Of course there’s never any real danger that the couple won’t fall in love or the kids won’t get their gifts. There is, however, some question as to whether the car is haunted or if it’s just sentient and bossy. It is quite beautiful though. Sircar and Xavier are likeable leads and the film has a nice message about communal giving and caring for others, which is always a bonus at Christmas.

The Angel Tree

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Hallmark imagines that Christmas is a time replete with journalists just desperate for soft, holiday-themed “news.” They’re visiting small town bed and breakfasts, boarding cross-country trains, trying to reunite lost items with their owners, sleeping on war ships, solving charity mysteries, hunting for vintage jewelry, and more. This particular writer, Rebecca (Jill Wagner), has been assigned to go back to her hometown and crack the top secret identity of the person granting wishes that are placed upon the town’s angel tree.

The Angel tree is a tradition that’s been going on now for decades. It was in effect when Rebecca was a child – and it seems she might the only one for whom the angel tree didn’t work. She wished that her family wouldn’t move away, but they did, and she’s kind of been harbouring a sort of resentment ever since. But for many, many others, perhaps 40 or 50 a year, the wishes have magically come true. Since Rebecca’s been writing about it, however, a lot of extra attention has meant a lot of extra wishes. And no matter who the mysterious benefactor is – and the townspeople are very protective of his or her identity – they couldn’t possibly provide for that many people. So Rebecca enlists the help of her aunt, her daughter, and her childhood friend, Matthew (Lucas Bryant) to take care of some of the overflow.

You might guess that Rebecca and Matthew engage in some pretty heavy reconnecting while doing good for their community. But will their budding romance survive Rebecca’s needling? Will she really betray the community’s secret? Will she get fired if she doesn’t? Will anyone be able to grant Matthew’s nephew’s wish, that his deployed mother join him for Christmas? And aren’t there some things in life just better left as mysteries anyway? Find out with The Angel Tree.

Snowcapped Christmas

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Claire Benson (Leah Renee) is a figure skater about to get her shot at the gold at nationals – and then, on to the Olympics. But an injury right before a crucial competition sidelines her, sends her to the mountains to recover at a rehab facility, in fact. It might be a nice place to decompress, reassess, oh, and heal – if only Claire’s coach wasn’t such a villainous villain! He’s going to ride her just as hard, injury or no injury.

Thankfully Claire’s mom Dale (Lisa Whelchel) is around to pull her toward some more relaxation and recreation, and so is a handsome dude who seems to be the facility (and the town’s!) jack of all trades. Turns out Luke (Niall Matter) is an ex hockey player, so it would seem that he more than anyone would understand Claire’s predicament. Claire’s been having doubts about continuing with the sport, and it’s nice having someone to confide in. Plus, Luke’s daughter is a total cutie herself, it’s possible that this little family is awakening certain feelings in Claire – like maybe skating isn’t everything, like maybe there’s something missing from her life, and maybe she’s ready to have it.

Will mean coach Julian let her follow her dreams? Will her mother find a true love of her own? Will Claire fail to heed posted signage and nearly fall through some thin ice? I mean, they can’t all be spoilers, can they? Only a trip to your local Hallmark channel will answer all these burning questions and more.