Category Archives: Rants, Raves and Righteousness

The best films inspire discussion, but sometimes we’re inspired by a bunch of movies at once, and sometimes we’re inspired by something else altogether.

I Missed Him Again?!?!: Annie Hall and Why Jeff Goldblum is my Polkaroo

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According to IMDB and the closing credits of Annie Hall, Jeff Goldblum appears in the film’s LA party scene and I always forget to watch out for him. Watching the credits about twenty minutes later, I always throw up my hands in frustration thinking “I missed him again?!?!”

Annie Hall has a lot of moments like that. It’s another movie that I make a point of revisiting about once a year and, unlike Citizen Kane, I rarely look forward to it. I seem to keep remembering Woody Allen’s examination of a relationship that’s run its course as more depressing than it actually is. I remember Alvy’s anxieties, Annie’s depression, and how sad it is to watch these two inevitably grow apart. Sure, this is 1977 Woody Allen (long before his movies started becoming no fun at all) so there are lots of laughs throughout to make it all go down easier but surely I must see all those coming by now.

What I keep forgetting, besides that I’m supposed to be on Goldblum watch, is how many funny moments Allen works in. Some are funny because they’re true, others because they’re outrageous, but nearly every scene hsa something to laugh about. So many of them still catch me off guard after all these years. This time it was “You’re what my Grammy would call a real Jew” that really got me. I even somehow forgot all about Christopher Walken’s scene. There really are a lot of gifts for the audience in this movie and, watching it today, I realize what a positive note it ends on. I’m already looking forward to next year.

You won’t get away from me next time, Jeff Goldblum!

Citizen Kane: The Citizen Kane of American Cinema?

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First of all, I like Citizen Kane. It is on my short list of movies that I try to make a point of checking in with at least once a year. “Keeping your film nerd cred up to date,” my friend called it yesterday. Because nothing keeps you current like rewatching a 1941 movie.

Of course, I’m not the only one who watches it regularly. Nearly 75 years later, it is still typically referred to as the prototypical example of a great movie. For example, if you wanted to recommend the latest Oscar bait with qualifications, you might say “It’s not Citizen Kane but I liked it”. I do it too. Back in April, I referred to The Dark Knight as the Citizen Kane of superhero movies. In May, I quoted Entertainment Weekly in calling The Room “the Citizen Kane of bad movies”. But is Citizen Kane really the Citizen Kane of American movies?

It’s not my favourite movie. How can it be? My own grandfather was just a kid when it was originally released. By the time I finally watched Citizen Kane for the first time when I was maybe 17, its visual style and narrative structure had been inspiring writers and directors for nearly 60 years, making it easy to take so much of what made the film unique in 1941 for granted. As a 21st century viewer, I’m far more likely to marvel at the style of, say, American Beauty even though that film would not have been possible without Citizen Kane.

So why do I find my annual visits with this movie so essential to my film nerd cred? First of all, I admire the non-linear structure. Even today, where movies like Pulp Fiction and Memento have taken this idea even further, Citizen Kane is still impressive. It remains one of my favourite character studies of a ruthless protagonist. And Rosebud! How often do we sit through an entire movie waiting for an answer that actually satisfies and feels right?

I can’t pretend to feel that Citizen Kane is necessarily the greatest movie ever made but it has a lot to offer even to modern film nerds. It rewards multiple viewings and I’m always looking forward to my next one.

Montreal in Film and Why Mommy is Better Than The Score

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Well, I did it, Andrew from Fistful of Films. I watched Mommy. Andrew’s made no secret of his appreciation of this Cannes sensation- now I get the picture on his masthead- and after the film resurfaced during Thursday Movie Picks a couple of weeks ago, I vowed to finally give this a watch.

First, I’ll say that I liked Mommy better than The Score, the Robert De Niro-Edward Norton heist movie from 2001 that I watched the night before. Like Mommy, The Score is filmed and set in Montreal, where I spent the first twenty-four years of my life. I know the city well, well enough to know that Quebecers don’t sound like that. The accents and dialects (more French than Quebecois) aren’t a big deal and most non-Canadians may not even notice but they’re distracting for me. Mommy’s already off to a good start just by being a Canadian film with actual Canadians.

The actors in Mommy get more than just the Franglais right. As mother and son, Anne Dorval and Antoine-Olivier Pilon always manage to make their increasingly complicated feelings and relationship believable, if not always likeable. Both Die (Dorval) and Steve (Pilon) are immediately off-putting. We are warned from the beginning that Steve can be a lot to take but I was unprepared for foul-mouthed and deliberately provocative style. Even Die, Steve’s long-suffering mother, is tough to take at first, presenting herself immediately as arrogant and confrontational through some pretty cocky gum-chewing.

I warmed to these characters quickly though. Die first. We quickly see how out of control- even dangerous- Steve is and I couldn’t help seeing her as a mother doing the best she can with an impossible situation. Steve has his charming- even sweet- side too. His feelings of guilt over ths burden he thinks he must be to his mother rise to a scene in a karaoke bar where he deliberately causes a scene in order to derail Die’s flirtation with a lawyer who she thinks can help with her son’s situation. The relationship between mother and son is unpredictable and at times a little strange but makes sense as we realize that they can’t help feeling that all they have is each other.

This relationship is written and acted to perfection even if Mommy isn’t. Dolan devotes way too much time to a stuttering former teacher who lives across the street without any real justification for doing so. I also could have done without the unusual 1.1 Aspect Ratio that is distracting at best and counter-productive during the more cinematic sequences that Dolan seems to love.

Have you seen Mommy? If you have, I would love to hear what you thought of the final scene.

Meanwhile in San Francisco…: 6 Simple Steps to Liking a Shitty Movie

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Finding myself at a midnight screening of The Room on Saturday, I was completely unprepared. If you haven’t already seen Tommy Wiseau’s masterpiece of unintended comedy, the first thing you need to do to get the most out of your experience is to manage your expectations. You’re not going to enjoy this movie the way you would, say, Birdman, The Imitation Game, or even The Avengers. Wiseau, who is equally misguided as producer, director, writer, and star, has made what Entertainment Weekly went on to call “the Citizen Kane of bad movies”. Several theaters around the world screen The Room on a monthly basis, drawing enthusiastic “fans” every time. It’s a bad movie but they seem to enjoy it. Here’s how you can too.

1. Remember, kids. You don’t need alcohol to have a good night out. Unless you’re watching The Room. You’ll need a few drinks to wash this one down.

2. Don’t, under any circumstances, watch this one alone. You’ll need a movie buddy. Maybe even a whole group. Choose your company well. They should be able to make you laugh easily. The more sarcastic the better. There’ll be lots to make fun of.

3. If you catch a screening, be prepared for people to talk, even yell, during the movie. That’s part of the fun. Several rituals have developed over the years from the Room cult, involving pre-prepared responses for specific parts of the movie. Don’t worry if you’re not familiar with those. You can pretty much yell whatever you want at the screen. This is one theater you will not get shushed.

4. Pay attention because the director didn’t. The plot holes, continuity errors, and technical fuck-ups are glaring and, if you’re keeping your eyes open, you won’t be able to believe what survived the editing process. Watch out in particular for the front door. The actors will often need you to remind them to close it.

5. There’s no easy way to get through the many awkward sex scenes. My advice is to just be thankful that Wiseau didn’t get his way. He wanted them to be twice as long.

6. Beware falling spoons. It’s tradition in some theaters to hurl a handful of plastic spoons at the screen during several scenes because… well, you’ll see. You can bring spoons of your own or just wait for them to literally fall into your lap.

Consider yourself warned. If you go in prepared, you should have as much, maybe even more, fun than you would at a movie that you thought was actually good. I’ve never actually been to a Rocky Horror screening but this is a little like I imagine it to be.

My Own Little Piece of Nostalgia

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Back in December, I posted one of my first ever reviews on this site of George Lucas’ classic of nostalgia American Graffiti. This is how I closed my review.

“I can’t think of many teen party movies that were made by such a celebrated and talented filmmaker. Rent it.”

In response, fellow Asshole Jay couldn’t resist leaving one of my favourite comments ever on one of my posts.

“I think “renting it” is your own little piece of nostalgia, Matt. Apart from you, I’m not sure I know anyone who rents movies anymore.”

Apparently she’s right. Tru elgin th is, I still do rent movies. Or did. Until Elgin Video announced on Thrusday that it was closing its doors after 25 years in business. I can’t say it came as a surprise. What small business that charges five dollars for a three-day rental could ever hope to compete with a more convenient and less expensive Netflix subscription. Even if every fourteenth rental is free. (Trust me, 14 comes quick when you’re an Asshole). Stores like this have been fighting a losing battle with the internet for years.

The first thing I do when I rent a DVD is assess the damage. Without even thinking, I immediately turn it over to see just how cracked it is and before inserting it into my player, I usually can’t help thinking about where else it’s been. Worse even, who among us hasn’t felt the disappointment that follows the elation of finally having tracked down You Only Live Twice only to have it start skipping just when it’s getting to the good part.

Maybe what comes too easily isn’t fully appreciated. When I was sixteen, I waited months for Supercop to come to video and- when it finally did- my video store (now long gone, barely even making it through the nineties) only had one copy. After weeks of feeling behind empty cases to find nothing there, you’d better believe I relish every kick, stunt, and badly dubbed line of dialogue when I finally went to the store at exactly the right time. I’ll even miss crawling around on my hands and knees because I know From Here To Eternity’s got to be down there somewhere.

When Elgin Video closes at the end of May, there won’t be many- if any- places like it left in Ottawa. It really is a shame. Last month when I discovered that they had Heathers in stock, it was nice to have a friendly staff of fellow cinephiles to share my excitement with. Like the girl behind the counter who, going above and beyond the call of duty, presented me with a list of 25 Movies Based on Young Adult Novels to help me with a particularly challenging Thursday Movie Picks. Or the guy behind the counter who knew more and had seen more than I did (something I rarely encounter and will even less rarely admit). I vowed that one day I would stump him. Now I never will.

I can’t help feeling an end of an era- one that I seem to have clung to longer than most. I’m a resourceful guy and- if I’m in the mood to watch Blood Simple- I’m sure I’ll find a way and may not even have to crawl around on all fours to do it. I’ll love watching the movie’s I love and hate watching the movies I hate as much as ever. It’s just finding them won’t be as fun as it used to be.

The Versatile Blogger Award

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versatilebloggeraward

FilmMunch has been kind enough to nominate us for the coveted Versatile Blogger Award. Despite our hesitation to celebrate some blogs over others, I have decided to graciously accept 1) so FilmMunch knows how much we appreciate the nomination and 2) because I really had no good ideas for a post today and am happy to have something to write.

Here are the rules:

Thank the person who gave you this award. Oscars Style!
Include a link to their blog.
Next, nominate 15 blogs/bloggers for The Versatile Blogger Award. (I will be breaking this rule, and nominating much fewer than that!)
Finally, share 7 random things about yourself.

First, our acceptance speech. Thank you. Thank you. Wow (with a humble Meryl Streep giggle) we really weren’t expecting this. So many people to thank. First, FilmMunch.com. It’s encouraging to think that you may have been enjoying reading our posts as much as we’ve enjoyed yours. It’s an honour to be nominated by someone who is haunted by the same Dumb and Dumber image as I am.

7 Random Facts

1. I have watched some twisted shit in my day but the scene that took me the longest to shake was the zipper scene in There’s Something About Mary. After that, I started getting dressed as carefully as I would disarm a nuclear weapon.

2. The only thing I fear more than my own pants is plane travel. The first time I went to Los Angeles, I arrived stoned out of my mind. Turns out there’s a bigger difference than I thought between one Ativan and two Ativan.

3. I got a part in a local independent film once as The Goth. I had a whole musical number and everything. Unfortunately, the prodcution ran out of money halfway through the shoot and my scenes were never filmed.

4. We love working on this site together and are hoping to continue for a long time. The last project I can remember us all taking on together though was when we all went out and bought expensive guitars together and those are mostly collecting dust so we’ll have to see how it goes.

5. Luc and his wife are the reigning champions of The Amazing Race Minden, ON Edition. Jay organized a gruelling race for my birthday last year. We all raced pretty hard but Luc took home the trophy because he was willing to dive into the cold lake with his clothes on, injuring his back in the process.

6. The first movie I ever watched was called Follow That Bird, a Sesame Street movie that I can barely remember except that Big Bird for some reason turns blue at some point. I discovered last month that Jay and Sean are the only people in the world to have the movie in their collection.

7. I am still serious about getting a dog in 2015.

We’ve encountered many exciting blogs since we started ours but in thanks for their encouragement and enthusiasm lately, we would like to nominate the following blogs for the Versatile Bloggers Award.

A Fistful of Films

Rambling Film

Big Screen, Small Words

Oscar aftermath and Requiem for a Dream

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Twenty years ago, having not met any of the other Assholes yet, my Oscar parties were just my younger brother and I in front of a TV. I was 13 years old and hadn’t seen most of the nominated films but I still felt like my opinions on every category needed to be heard. Not having a blog yet, my 11 year-old brother became the first victim of my Oscar rants. Not that he minded. Although less invested in the awards themselves than I was, I think he joined me each year for the fun of watching me guess wrong over and over again. “You’re really bad at this,” he used to say.

Twenty years later, I’m still really bad at this. I watch as many nominated films as I can now but only managed to call 12 of the 24 awards on Sunday. That’s 1 in 2 which I remember was pretty much exactly what I scored back in the early days. So all that preparation, sitting through Harry Potter and Transformers movies just to have an opinion on visual effects, for nothing.

Not that I didn’t enjoy losing. Despite Neil Patrick Harris’ awkward hosting (“We’ll be right back with Oscars for Best Live Action Short, Animated Shorts, and Bermuda Shorts” being the low point), it was a great night full of red wine and spicy mustard that Jay brought back from Paris. There were pleasant surprises too. I don’t mind losing when losing means Big Hero 6 gets to take home an Oscar or when the excellent Whiplash takes home more than anyone but Sean expected.

Now that awards season is officially over, I’m a little burnt out. It happens every year.Starting on nomination day, I hit the ground running seeing so many movies that by the end the thought of sitting through another movie makes me exhausted and the smell of popcorn makes me nauseous.

Because we have this site now, taking my usual post-Oscar break isn’t an option so I went out and rented Requiem for a Dream, one of Luc’s favourite movies that I have been putting off seeing for fifteen years. I didn’t know much going in but I knew enough to think it would be unpleasant and 2000’s nightmarish cult classic did not let me down. Despite some scenes of hope and beauty early on, it started out sad and only got more punishing as it went on. Director Darren Aronofsky’s unusual filmmaking lets us experience the pain and anguish from the point of view of the characters. His style separates Requiem for a Dream from more conventional films about addictions.

Requiem for a Dream mostly stands out because of Ellen Burstyn who, at the age of 68, was a good enough sport to walk around with 10 and 20 lb fat suits and sat wit5h the makeup department for hours putting on uncomfortable prosthetics. She gives a performance that’s so heartbreaking that the cinematographer reportedly sobbed through her big scene. She won an Oscar for this, right?

Nope. Just checked. She lost to Julia Roberts for Erin Brockovich. Come on, guys. No wonder I can never predict your choices.

Oscars 2015: Best Director and Best Picture

A comment on the Best Documentary Oscar race

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I have only been able to find two of the Best Documentary nominees. I regret that I couldn’t see more but I’m not sure I’d be in a much better position to predict a winner if I had. After last year, where the undisputedly entertaining and interesting 20 Feet from Stardom won over the thought-provoking, troubling, and almost universally acclaimed The Act of Killing, I wondered what criteria voters were using to decide what the Best Documentary was.

The best thing about awards season is it gives us the chance to look back on our favourites of the year and talk about them, argue about them, and think about what makes a movie better than another. In this case, what makes a good documentary?

All four of us here at Assholes Watching Movies have predicted a win this year for Citizenfour, one of the only two nominated docs that I’ve been able to see. My thinking was that, not only is it the subject matter important- which is a tough thing to measure against the other nominees- but one that the Acadamey is sure to endorse. We’re all feeling a little sensitive about our cyber security right now. Even Hollywood, with a major studio being hacked just a few months ago. Just as director Laura Poitras was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time, this might be the right movie at the right time.

A great documentary, like any great movie, is about more than the topic. A great documentary has to be great, not just important. Poitras was fortunate enough to get footage of history as it happens, instead of just interviewing people about it later. Unfortunately, as I said when I reviewed Citizenfour last month, she didn’t get enough of this footage to fill a whole movie and seems to spend the rest of the movie struggling to fill it, without asking some of the tough questions that I would have liked to have seen asked.

Virunga, the other nominated doc that I watched, also got great footage and important subject matter; civil war in the Congo. Like in Citizenfour, the subjects and filmmakers take serious risks and in some cases make great personal sacrifices in their quest for justice. The difference is that director Orlando von Einsiedel knows how to use his great footage to tell a great story and edits it together to form a finished film with a genuine emotional impact. “I cried,” wrote fellow Asshole Jay. This is why am hoping that Virunga wins the Oscar, even if I predict that Citizenfour will.

Note: This started out as a review of a fantastic 2013 documentary called Gideon’s Army but I seemed to have gotten sidetracked. I’ll have to write that tomorrow.

What was your favourite documentary of 2014? Have you seen any of the other three nominees? What do you think makes a great documentary? We’d love to hear from you.