Author Archives: Jay

The Program

Lance Armstrong: hero or villain?

A liar and a cheat, that’s for sure.

And that’s what this movie is about: one man’s relentless, ruthless pursuit of the only thing that matters to him – winning. And it’s not just that he was willing to cheat to keep up with the others, no, you have to cheat the best to be the best. He didn’t just cheat, he hired a whole team of cheaters in order to boost his performance while cloakitheprogramng his dishonesty. And he flaunted his power and prestige (that he largely earned being “The Face of Cancer through his Livestrong foundation) to intimidate and coerce others into staying silent.

Ben Foster stars as Lance Armstrong, and it’s a good fit. He does the smarmy bravado well, with glimpses of vulnerability that humanize him. Jesse Plemmons (the low-rent Matt Damon) co-stars as his team-mate, and Chris O’Dowd, my Irish boyfriend, as the sports journalist who MTMzMTA1NDUyODAzMjEzMzIythinks he smells a rat.

The script is the problem. It has to race through more than a decade of doping, and it does so pretty frenetically, not really dwelling on much other than his downfall. The story doesn’t seem to know if it’s about Lance Armstrong’s power-hungry cheating or David Walsh’s (the journalist) determined reporting, or about generalized ambition and abuse of power in the sports world.

Lance Armstrong is not a nice guy. He lied, repeatedly, unapologetically. He cheated in pursuit of fame and money and all things deplorable. He also beat cancer and raised a lot of money for its research. But it’s likely the reason he got cancer in the first place was all his doping. But his doping and his subsequent winning led him to rejuvenate his sport, and imagesthe Tour de France, inspiring many. So who is this man? Don’t look to The Program for the answer. It has little in terms of insight – it’s mostly a scrapbook of Lance’s greatest hits and David’s best articles about them, and questioning them.

The only part of this movie I found interesting is when Dustin Hoffman briefly appears as an insurer. U.S. Postal sponsored Armstrong’s team and paid him out bonuses for each win, and an insurance company backed them up. Armstrong won a LOT of Tours de France, and they owed him a LOT of money…except what if he cheated, then he didn’t really win, did he? Armstrong is prepared to throw EVERYONE under the bus to keep his lie alive, but we all know how that ended up. The truth is, there is little in this movie that we don’t already know. And with scattered story-telling and shoddy characterization – well, what’s the point?

 

The Force is Forced Upon me

It was only a month ago when I took in my first Star Wars movie, ever (The Force Awakens). The original trilogy was a big deal to Sean, as a kid, but he failed incite the same domnic-west-star-warspassion in me. Lucky for him, I underwent a hefty back surgery a couple of weeks ago and ever since then have been a) trapped in bed b) under the heavy influence of drugs. So it was under these influences that Sean took advantage of his poor, sickly wife, and we tackled the first three movies in the series, Episodes I, II, and III.

The Phantom Menace: Watching these movies turns out to be like playing peekaboo with celebrities. I may be in and out of consciousness, but I’m pretty sure I’ve spied Dominic West (of The Wire) as a guard, and handmaids greatly resembling Keira Knightley and Sofia Coppola. I like Ewan McGregor and Liam Neeson together, but almost everything outside of those two feels a bit silly. I’m definitely not a fan of Jar Jar Binks and while I’m not sure he was intentionally meant to be a racist caricature, he does make me cringe every time he talks. Interesting to see Darth Maul in action – I’ve long heard this DotF_TPM.pngvillain praised, and am disappointed that he turns out to be over and done with so quickly. Definitely digging his double-bladed light saber, though his fight with the two Jedis was uneven for me, sometimes thrilling, other times downright implausible. What I find most unforgivable in this movie are the cheesy screen wipes. Shouldn’t we, as a society, be above those by now?

Attack of the Clones: This one feels familiar when it opens – maybe a little The Fifth Element-ish? I also spent way too much time wondering – is that Rose Byrne? (yes, it is) and – that’s not Joel Edgerton, is it? dorme-star-wars(again, it is). Again I’m finding Ewan McGregor to be the best thing about this movie, and am missing Liam Neeson. Hayden Christensen isn’t great but mostly I’m stuck on why a photos-star-wars-attack-of-the-clones-23124364-1600-1200Queen and Senator would be attracted to such a whiny kid (last movie there was an 8 year age difference between the actors; this movie there’s none). I’m having a hard time keeping track of good guys and bad guys. I’m very WTF about Jimmy Smits appearing – um, really? Jimmy Smits? And same with The Phantom Menace, the very evident over-usage of green screens is tiring and flat. Also I’m wondering how it is that every time someone fights, they’re either on a very narrow bridge, or on the rim of a very big hole. Seems unlikely.

Revenge of the Sith: Whoa, this one’s got quite the body count. There’s a lot of beheadings\behandings\beleggings going on. And Anakin catching on fire? Brutal. And it star-wars-episode-iii-revenge-of-the-sith-hd-movie-2005-4goes on a for a LONG time. I was really feeling that Anakin’s back story was insufficient to explain why he’d gone over to the dark side but he might just be crispy enough to warrant it after all. As a fan of the original trilogy, Sean had a lot of problems with the prequels, not least of all because everything is so damned shiny and new in these movies. CGI makes everything look sleek and sparkly. All the ships and robots are rendered flawlessly, a huge contrast to the more practical effects used in the original movies, but chronologically, it makes no sense that 30 years later, the technology looks so much clunkier. I noticed that things like R2D2 and Vader’s mask are also so sleek that they end up looking like cheap plastic. But I’m having an even harder time justifying Padme’s death scene. Lost the will to live? Oh, is that an official medical diagnosis now? Look, lady, I’m sorry your first marriage didn’t work out and your husband turned out to be a bit of a dick (although let’s face it: Darth Vader is much sexier than joel-edgerton-star-warswhiny, emo Anakin, an entitled millennial from another millennium) but you can’t just check out. She was a fighter this whole time, politically savvy and a better shot than any of her male counterparts, but she can’t face raising her babies alone? Come on! So the babies get split up, to be raised by Jimmy Smits and Joel Edgerton. Is that weird? Yes it’s weird! Almost as weird as creepy little Hayden Christensen somehow morphing into James Earl Jones. That’s the kind of math that only George Lucas can account for.

 

So what did I think? I was as underwhelmed as I always suspected I’d be. These movies aren’t shitting all over my childhood since I still haven’t seen the original trilogy, but at no point was I glad that there were 3 whole movies to sit through. I never cared to see more. I never felt really attached to the characters, although Yoda grew on me. What did the prequels do for you?

Where does that leave me on the original trilogy? I suppose I’ll have to see them. And seeing how I’m still bed-bound, I’m sure Sean will have plenty of opportunity to foist them upon me. I am defenseless against The Force.

 

Yes, #OscarsSoWhite, but can we really blame the Academy?

The truth is, the Academy’s demographics are a problem. They’re too damned white. But this year’s white-washed ballots are only a symptom of a much larger problem: the fact that talented black actors just aren’t getting cast.

A lot was made earlier this year when a role that was originally meant to be male (and in fact was based on a real-life man) was rewritten for Sandra Bullock (in Our Brand is Crisis). That movie aside, it turned out to be a banner year for women in film. So why can’t we do the same for people of colour? White has been the de facto race for far too long, the product of unimaginative directors and casting agents who refuse to acknowledge that most parts could and should be colour-blind.

The race for best actor and best actress Oscars this year lacks diversity. It’s a fucking vacuum where only white people may enter. But what choice did the voters really have? Last year we could easily feel that Selma had been grossly ignored, but can you think of a black actor, or any non-white actor, who was unfairly overlooked this year?

Don’t say Will Smith. Sure the Globes love him, he’s the freaking Fresh Prince, but he didn’t deserve an Oscar nomination for his work in Concussion. You could maybe argue Idris Elba, for Beasts of No Nation, but you’d have to argue. It’s a tight race this year, and only 5 roles can be acknowledged. Mark Rylance, Tom Hardy, and Sylvester Stallone are likely locking up most votes for best supporting actor. Christian Bale and Mark Ruffalo are more interchangeable, but it’s not clear cut. I do wonder, though, if perhaps the roles those two played could have been fulfilled by a non-white actor? I realize they’re both based on real-life people, but don’t we have a moral obligation to represent all people a little more fairly in the mainstream media? Movies are supposed to represent and reflect the audiences watching them, but they’re failing to do that over and over and over. And relying on “black movies” like Selma or 12 Years A Slave to provide the only colour at an awards ceremony is egregious and embarrassing. It’s also a little embarrassing that the only nominations for Creed and Straight Outta Compton, movies that actually did feature black talent, still somehow went to white people.

We can do better.

 

Oscar Nominations 2016

Matt and I are super excited to present this year’s list of Oscar Nominees. I’m still recovering from back surgery but between a special little seat cushion and some good drugs, I think we’re down for some good discussion. Please join in the comments!

73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

I thought Brie Larson looked beautiful in gold at The Golden Globes – kind of like an Oscar statuette. I know she’s down for a nomination today. Who else are we feeling good about?

Best Picture:

Best Directing:

  • Adam McKay, The Big Short
  • George Miller, Mad Max: Fury Road
  • Alejandro G. Inarritu, The Revenant
  • Lenny Abrahamson, Room
  • Tom McCarthy, Spotlight

Best Actress in a Lead Role:

  • Cate Blanchett, Carol
  • Brie Larson, Room
  • Jennifer Lawrence, Joy
  • Charlotte Rampling, 45 Years
  • Saoirse Ronan, Brooklyn

Best Actor in a Lead Role:

Actor in a Supporting Role:

  • Christian Bale, The Big Short
  • Sylvester Stallone, Creed
  • Mark Ruffalo, Spotlight
  • Tom Hardy, The Revenant
  • Mark Rylance, Bridge of Spies

Actress in a Supporting Role

  • Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl
  • Rachel McAdams, Spotlight
  • Jennifer Jason Leigh, The Hateful Eight
  • Rooney Mara, Carol
  • Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

Best Animated Feature Film

Cinematography:

  • Carol (Edward Lachman)
  • The Hateful Eight (Robert Richardson)
  • Mad Max: Fury Road (John Seale)
  • The Revenant (Emmanuel Lubezki)
  • Sicario (Roger Deakins)

Costume Design:

  • Carol
  • The Danish Girl
  • Cinderella
  • The Revenant
  • Mad Max: Fury Road

Documentary Feature

  • Amy
  • Cartel Land
  • What Happened, Miss Simone?
  • Winter On Fire: Ukraine: Fight For Freedom
  • The Look of Silence

Film Editing:

Foreign Language Film:

  • A War
  • Son of Saul
  • Embrace of the Serpent
  • Theeb
  • Mustang

Makeup & Hair Styling:

  • Mad Max: Fury Road
  • The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed Out A Window and Disappeared
  • The Revenant

Music, Original Song

Original Score:

  • Bridge of Spies (Thomas Newman)
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens (John Williams)
  • Carol (Carter Burwell)
  • The Hateful Eight (Ennio Morricone)
  • Sicario (Johann Johannson)

Production Design:

  • Bridge of Spies
  • Mad Max: Fury Road
  • The Danish Girl
  • The Martian
  • The Revenant

Sound Editing:

  • Mad Max: Fury Road
  • Sicario
  • Star Wars: The Forst Awakens
  • The Martian
  • The Revenant

Sound Mixing:

  • Bridge of Spies
  • Mad Max: Fury Road
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens
  • The Martian
  • The Revenant

Visual Effects:

  • Ex Machina
  • Mad Max: Fury Road
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens
  • The Martian
  • The Revenant

Writing, Adapted Screenplay

  • Brooklyn, Nick Hornby
  • Carol, Phyllis Nagy
  • Room, Emma Donoghue
  • The Big Short, Charles Randolph & Adam McKay
  • The Martian, Drew Goddard

Writing, Original Screenplay

  • Bridge of Spies, Matt Charman & Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
  • Ex Machina, Alex Garland
  • Inside Out, Pete Doctor & Meg LeFauve & Josh Cooley
  • Spotlight, Josh Singer & Tom McCarthy
  • Straight Outta Compton, Jonathan Herman, Andrea Berloff, S. Leigh Savidge, and Alan Wenkus

Best Documentary Short Subject

  • Body Team 12
  • Chau, Beyond the Lines
  • Claude Lanzmann: Spctres of Shoah
  • A Girl in the River Last Day of Freedom

Best Live Action Short

  • Ave Maria
  • Day One
  • Everything Will Be Okay
  • Shok Stutterer

Best Animated Short

  • Bear Story
  • Prologue
  • Sanjay’s Super Team
  • We Can’t Live Without Cosmos
  • World of Tomorrow

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s Rap

Like many young Canadians, my first experience of Ryan Gosling (apart from him occasionally

That's Rachel Wilson in the middle...and Ryan Gosling in the blue suede shoes.

That’s Rachel Wilson in the middle…and Ryan Gosling in the blue suede shoes.

living in my hometown) was not on the Mickey Mouse club but rather an embarrassing teen drama that seemed to only play late at night when anyone who knew better should be in bed. It was called Breaker High and for some reason it was about a high school that just happened to be on a cruise ship. Because that happens! The ship would dock at all kinds of amazing, exotic locations (okay, technically they were all shot in British Columbia) and the kids would get into inoffensive hijinks, like Saved By The Bell, only milder, if you can possibly imagine that (this was, after all, a Breaker-High-breaker-high-1282246-240-180polite Canadian production). It starred Ryan Gosling as a nerdy wannabe ladies’ man – not the heart-throb by any  means. And it also starred Rachel Wilson, an actress born right here in Ottawa (not to further the stereotype of all Canadians knowing each other – I’ve really never met her), who I was delighted to rediscover in a movie I just watched called Let’s Rap.

It took me a moment to place her, and I’m sure you know that feeling of…what’s she from? I recently had that very same feeling watching Jewel Staite in How To Plan an Orgy in a Small Town, which makes me think this may be a particularly Evvy-livelinks2Canadian experience, kind of like watching Lost for the first time and realizing Evangeline Lilly finally  made it big after a series of embarrassing dial-a-girlfriend commercials.

Anyway, it was nice to see Rachel Wilson all grown up and not playing the “quirky misfit” anymore.

Oh wait.

Well, okay, she may still be playing a bit of a quirky misfit, but in 2016, that’s a title we’re owning and embracing. If skinny Ryan Gosling can grow up to give Brad Pitt a run for his money, then Rachel Wilson will have an easier time of it, having been cute all along.

And in this movie, she proves she’s more than capable of keeping up with a fast-talking script that would wind Aaron Sorkin. Wilson plays opposite Brendan Gall as Melanie and Bo Schnurr, a MV5BMjA0OTI1OTYwMV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMjIxNDMzNzE@._V1_SY317_CR0,0,214,317_AL_brother and sister team who dream of taking their witticisms straight to the big time, carpeting their way to stardom with pop-culture landmines exploding left and right, making puddles out of their Beau’s beer (shout out to Vankleek Hill, hometown of Beau’s beer and my mother’s husband). I’m wary of any movie that credits itself with pop-culture banter, and yet this one won me over quickly. Wilson is too warm and the Schnurr charm proved irresistible – plus, hello, a well-timed Jason Priestly cameo (okay, fine, I admit it: Canada is its own small world).

One of the hands-down best things about this movie is the strong material it’s working with, and that’s a credit to the real-life brother-sister team who wrote it, Jesse and Samantha Herman, who were born and raised in the very city where this film was shot – Toronto.

I asked Samantha a few questions about what it was like to work on this film, and to collaborate with her brother, and she was kind enough to respond.

Jay: Do you think indie screenwriters have to effectively function as a producer in order to get their movie made?
Samantha: Yes, especially for first-time writers.  There are so many scripts out there looking for a home and without a proven track record it’s difficult to get other producers’ attention.  As your own producer, you also have more opportunity to preserve your material and be involved in the entire production, which is fantastic.

Jay: What would we be surprised to learn is part of your role as producer?
Samantha: I don’t know if you’d be surprised, but since I don’t cook in my real life, I was always shocked by the amount of decision-making, planning and time management pertaining to meals and snacktime. Basically, I learned I should never host a dinner party.

Jay: How did you manage to write this with your brother? Were you in the same room, or were you emailing back and forth from different cities?
Samantha: We started with ideas, jokes and concepts that we could share in person or over maxresdefaultemail. But when it came time to actually structure the script and write dialogue we always did that in person.  The style of our banter, which can be pretty fast-paced, is simply not conducive to an email exchange.  We had to capture the flow together.  Plus it’s just more fun that way.

Jay: What’s it like to give up control of your baby to a director?
Samantha: There was a bit of anxiety going into it because the director takes over the driver’s seat with the project.  But, we had extremely positive conversations with our director, Neil Huber, during pre-production so that alleviated all the concern.  Knowing his sensibility for our style and hearing his great ideas, I knew he would capture the comedy we wanted to achieve.  Since I have no aspiration to be a director myself, I was happy to entrust the job to Neil.

If you’re interested in checking this movie out, and you should be, the good news is: it’s available everywhere! It’s now online on iTunes, Amazon Video, Google Play, Vimeo & Xbox; here are a couple of the links-
https://itunes.apple.com/us/movie/lets-rap/id1056898946
https://vimeo.com/ondemand/letsrap

And because Samantha is a particular brand of sweetheart, she included a link to check out a delightful short film produced by the same team called Street Meet – for free:  https://vimeo.com/105094852

 

 

Black Mass

Jay here. I’ve been MIA for a while and most likely will be for a bit more. Back surgery and its sidekick  morphine have indisposed me for writing movie reviews.

Anyway, Black Mass has been kicking around for a while now, generally disappointing folks despite its all-star cast and generous dash of promise. It basically tells the incredible story of Johnny-Depp-in-Black-MassJames ‘Whitey’ Bulger (Johnny Depp), and how he ran Boston from the underground for years, in part because of a brilliant “alliance” with the FBI. An old childhood friend (Joel Edgerton) has conveniently made a name for himself at the FBI and he convinces his boss (Kevin Bacon) that Bulger will be a useful informant. The information flows both ways though, with Bulger constantly evading investigation, and Bulger divulging details already known to the FBI by other means.

Benedict Cumberbatch plays Bulger’s brother, Billy, a successful state politician. Suspicious? Well nobody at the FBI seems to think so, until there’s a new kid in town, Corey Stoll, who starts asking some incredulous questions, like how on earth has a notorious psychopath and criminal with ties to the IRA never ever been investigated? Why indeed.

So things fall apart for Bulger, although never as spectacularly as they do for everyone around 48091645.cachedhim (including Jesse Plemons, and can we just call him what he is: low-rent Matt Damon), and Rory Cochrane (bloated for this role, it’ll kill your Empire Records fantasies right quick), and Peter Sarsgaard (who once did an SNL skit where he was attending a pirate convention, and all the attendees really relished overpronouncing his name – PetARRRRGGGHHHH SAAAARRRRRRsgAAAAARRRRRRD, and now I am forever doomed to do it myself).

Maybe the biggest problem with this movie is that it crammed too many names under too small 62951a marquee. There just isn’t enough to keep everyone busy, and at the end of the day, this feels like a pretty standard mob movie, with Scorsese wannabe undertones. It fails to distinguish itself. The relief, though, is that Johnny Depp remembers how not to be a cartoon. It’s not any great relief though, since this is Depp’s fourth, FOURTH, time portraying a real-life gangster. Even my dogs have learned the trick by the fourth repetition.

You will not find a bad movie here, just a very tired one, but I guess it allowed a lot of Hollywood types to tick off MOB MOVIE on their SAG Bingo card, and if that’s not a good reason to make a movie, then I don’t know what is.

Jay’s Top Cinematic Moments of 2015

This is not a list of my favourite movies, this is a list of the happy times I’ve spent going to the movies with friends, families, and sometimes even celebrities. I’m keeping this to a top 15 for 2015 but I’m feeling awfully chuffed that the list could have been much longer.

(In chronological order)

Selma: Technically a 2014 movie, I didn’t see it until very early in 2015, at an advance screening here in Ottawa. Some of you will comment that you “no longer go to the cinema” and that’s cool if it floats your boat, but this is why I DO go to the cinema: because there is something powerful about witnessing something together. And movies are meant to be enjoyed as a group. The reason we started this site was because we often enjoy talking about movies more than we enjoy seeing them, but in this case, Selma brought down the house. 300 of us held our breath in the same spots, let out sighs of relief in the same spots, wept in the same spots, burst into applause in the same spots, and filed out red-eyed, and maybe a little changed. Damn. That’s good film.

Mr. Turner: Again, technically a ’14, Matt and I took this one in at the Bytowne in anticipation of Oscar season, and only our dedication to seeing all the nominated films could have induced us to sit through this snooze-fest. It was a chore. But we watched it at the Bytowne, our beloved “art house” cinema, the one that plays all the cool movies, where seniors go to take their afternoon naps, and the best popcorn is popped. We watched it with an additional soundtrack of old, confused people coaching each other through it, and we were delighted to catch up with Sean afterward (for some very yummy thai, if memory serves) to tell him all about it.

Paris & The Oscars: Our little group of friends gets a modicum less friendly around Oscar season. We get competitive! We’ve had a pool going in one form or another for as long as we’ve known each other, we’ve dressed up, dressed down, sipped specialty cocktails, feasted on miniature cakes, even refused to evacuate for a smoke alarm (not recommended) all in the name of taking money from each other. There’s just one little catch: the Oscars love to schedule their ceremony to conflict with our anniversary (mine & Sean’s), and usually we travel for our anniversary. This year was no different – we were in Paris for 10 days, stopped in at Amelie‘s favourite cafe, posed under the Inception bridge, saw the apartment from Last Tango In Paris, and it was all quite lovely, but it meant we were only getting home the day of the Awards. We were exhausted and scheduled to work the next morning, but did we still make an appearance at the Oscar party? You bet we did – with wines and macarons for everyone. (And I collected my money the next day when I inevitably won the pool again – undefeated, yo!)

Live Action Fairy Tales: We did all see Cinderella together, come to think of it, but this is not about Cinderella. This is about a weekend where Matt, Sean and I all got trashed in our basement prepping for Wandering Through The Shelves’ weekly challenge. We watched some real doozies and laughed our asses off. Did you know Reese Witherspoon once did a vulgar Red Riding Hood adaptation? It doesn’t have to be a good movie to be a good movie moment.

VIPs: We were among the very first through the doors when the VIP cineplex opened at Lansdowne this year, and we’ve been reclining and getting our drink on ever since. In fact, we’ve seen some of least favourite movies of the year at twice the going rate just so we could match our martinis to our movies (Matt waited 6 whole months to try the 007!).

Mad Max: Fury Road: Did it help that I had been drinking alcohol out of a boot in the hours before? Couldn’t have hurt! But not only did I love this movie, I loved that we got to see it en masse: Matt, Sean, and I were accompanied by my baby sister, who was blessing us with a rare visit from out of town, and we met up with recovering Asshole Luc and his lovely wife Mel, who we’d barely seen since they’d had a baby only a few months prior. And then we all sat through this high-octane, punch-in-the-nuts movie and left the theatre with silly, stunned looks on our faces (where we encountered MORE friends – hi Saif!). Some of us had to go for additional drinks just to decompress. Phew!

Hollywood: Matt, Sean & I travelled together a lot this year, more than usual anyway. This summer we went down to California, which you may know, is where movies come from! We followed the Walk of Fame, visited Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, and toured Universal Studios where we met Transformers, pet a dinosaur from Jurassic World, got an overly familiar pat from Doc from Back To The Future, got chomped at by Jaws, were turned into Minions, became involved in a high-speed chase with Vin Diesel, and drank Duff beer right in Springfield! Vacation high!

TIFF: Once fall started to roll in though we were all about the Toronto International Film Festival where we saw tonnes of great movies sitting alongside their famous stars, but two are standouts for me: 1) Seeing Room. Because it was #1 on my list, but I failed to get tickets. But then due to the magic of litigious producers, one movie got pulled, there was an opening in the schedule, and poof: a surprise additional screening for Room! Only catch? I was about 500km away. But my amazing husband threw me in the car and we raced to Toronto and won the day! 2) Seeing Christopher Walken. The movie he was in was a little forgettable but it’s goddamned Christopher Walken, and he was just so Christopher Walkeny!

NHFF: Only a couple of weeks later, Sean and I hit up the New Hampshire Film Festival, hereby known as our favourite film festival, where I saw lots of great stuff but will take the opportunity to rave again about one of my favourite films this year: Chicken. The guys who made it were so young and bashful but their execution was excellent and it got me right in the feels!

Horror FX: For Matt’s birthday, we celebrated by getting mauled by a bear, Revenant style. Well, okay, not really. But we sure looked like we did. We met and interviewed a makeup effects artist who taught us the ins and outs of her craft, and our faces were her canvas.

Dan Aykroyd: And then the next weekend we were off to meet Dan Aykroyd and drink his delicious crystal skull vodka. He pulled up to the St. Lawrence International Film Festival opening gala in an actual Bluesmobile where he introduced an anniversary screening of Blues Brothers and then later took to the stage to play some tunes. Life goal!

Spectre: This movie bored me silly but the epic he saidshe said fight that ensued right here at Assholes Watching Movies made it all worthwhile. The best part? That so many of you joined in! 2015 has been kind to us in many ways, but I really value having made so many connections through this site, and from visiting yours. We love every single comment, we slurp them right up, and we love love love when you become part of the fracas!

WFF: Ah, Whistler. A bit of a dud as a film festival, but a super beautiful place to visit. And I got to see the North American premiere of The Legend of Barney Thomson introduced by star and director Robert Carlyle, which rocked my socks. Emma Thompson is UPROARIOUS and the night was one I’ll never forget, what with the idyllic mountainside snowfall.

The Year of the Franchise: Now, you have probably heard that I LOATHE franchises for the most part, and 2015 was particularly hard on me. But Sean took absolutely no pity, and managed to drag me to every. stupid. thing. Including, but not limited to: Terminator whatever it was, Star Wars Something Something, and The New Rocky – these 3 especially notable because they were all my first entries into their respective series. And so I beg of you, 2016: SOME NEW MATERIAL PLEASE!

Happy new year friends, and here’s to lots of happy memories, cinematic and not.

Brooklyn

At last year’s Oscar ceremony, I was the only one who could reliably pronounce David Oyelowo’s name. A couple of years ago, Matt had to be called upon to serve up Barkhad Abdi’s mouthful. This year it’ll be my turn again because I’m the only one who can say Saoirse Ronan’s name (it sounds like Sir-sha; Ryan Gosling’s hint: it rhymes with “inertia”) and believe me, you WILL need to say her name come Oscar time.

Saoirse Ronan is perfectly cast in this movie and a nomination feels like Brooklyn_3a lock. She brings quiet strength and touching vulnerability to her role as a young Irish woman who sets sail to America all by her lonesome. She makes a new home for herself in Brooklyn but is called back to Ireland where she’ll have to make a choice to embrace the brave new world, or to seek comfort in more familiar opportunities.

I read the book years ago, and reread it recently to remember how very much I liked it. It’s a gorgeous, heartbreaking meditation on the immigrant story. The movie is a little more focused on the love story aspect, but I can forgive it that because it’s restrained and mature. 0009e215-630Nearly every aspect of this period piece comes out simply but spectacularly. The acting is lovely (her co-stars, by the way, do live up to her performance: Emory Cohen is up to the task, Domhnall Gleeson is exactly right, and what a year he’s had, by the way – this, plus Star Wars, plus Ex Machina, plus The Revenant, the dude’s on fire; I only wish we had seen more of Jim Broadbent as Father Flood) the cinematography is lush, the script is trimmed of excess fat, John Crowley’s direction is generous, the aesthetic is consistent and thoughtful, and Ronan is luminous.

MTM0MDkzNTM1MjYyNTc5MTY2I’m wondering, though, if it’s maybe a little too perfect. Because when the credits rolled, my eyes were dry. And this should be a deeply affecting movie. My little heart-strings were pulled extra taut reading the book, so why has the movie left me so unmoved? I can’t honestly fault a single thing in Brooklyn. It’s a perfectly crafted movie, but for me, there was just no emotional connection.